Booyor’s BLOGgh!

This Saturday, to help out Kelly Tracy’s family, the band student that was killed:

Mesquite HS - Sonic Restaurant, NE corner of Val Vista and Williamsfield, 8-noon

Gilbert HS - 24 Hour Fitness, SE corner of Val Vista and Elliot, 9-noon

Desert Ridge HS - Valero Gas Station, SW corner of Guadalupe and Ellsworth, 9-noon

For those of you who know me personally, you know that this year has been an interesting one full of transitions. The last dagger that I was hit with was that my normal hair cut place is now charging 40 bucks for a guy’s hair cut, and unless that’s going to be a life-changing hair cut experience with a shampoo hair massage by a super model, it’s not worth the 40 bucks.

Today was the start of my journey to find a comparable place that wasn’t expensive, and I took someone’s advice and headed over to the Arrowhead mall salon in JC Penny’s. I was surprised that I could get in without waiting for an appointment, but then I realized why when I was greeted by this:

This woman, to me, looked like what would be produced if my grandma’s old chain smoking decrepit neighbor and Emperor Palpatine had a love match. I was gauged about 3 different times around the neck and ear, and the conversation went about like this: Haircutter- “Come with me.” Slade- “Ok.” and dead silence from then on until she pulled out a hair gel bottle called, and I kid you not, “Short Fit Sexy Hair…guaranteed for Hard up hair” and right after I got past the initial w…t…h.. reaction I said, “Don’t ever use anything with the word ‘Sexy’ in it on me.”

I ended up walking out and my hair looked like this:

All I’ve got to say about that experience is

Today our eldest daughter and I were in the grocery store checking out.  She was sitting in the cart and pointed to a magazine on the shelf.  “Look, Mom, it’s Obama and his lady.”

I looked at the magazine and sure enough, the president-elect and his “lady” were on the front cover.  She was very excited about it.  Then she found another magazine:  “Oh, Mom, it’s Obama and his girls.”  Yep, another one with the future first family on the cover.

She continued to talk about Obama and all his ladies until we were headed out the door.  I finally asked, “Do you know who Obama is?”  She replied, “He’s that man… that man that won the American game.”

Have you seen the ocarina application for the iPhone? Touch-screen holes and blow into the phone mic.

Thanks, Driver of Sidewalks, for the link.

Check out their site for more details.

Somehow I never pictured her as this.

Are you ready for the film of 2009 that is going to rock your planetary orbit?

You at least have to be excited about Simon Pegg as Scotty?

How about Leonard Nimoy playing…Sarek?

I’m just excited to see James T. Kirk riding a motorcycle.

It almost makes up for when he was riding the horse…

Why???

Star Trek

In Theaters May 8, 2009

District repair people came today to hook up a DVD player to the phone system for remote control. Should be simple, considering three others are hooked up, right?

They come out of the head end room to tell me that the hard drive of the clock computer is fried. The clock computer that was working five minutes before they showed up?

We have no official clock right. What we do have, though, is an unofficial clock.

Many times the secretaries will receive complaints if the slightest thing is wrong with the clock. You can imagine the phone calls when a clock is missing from instruction for an entire day.

Here’s how the daffy librarian made a temporary fix: (Peter and Slade, prepare the facepalm.)

In a step-by-step list, for all of those times a school is depending upon you to free them from looking at their wrists:

1. Find an old iBook
2. Connect it to Wi-Fi (and all of the fun stuff that comes with that)
3. Try a screensaver with the clock and realize it’s too small for a TV from across the room
4. Go to Google, like the double-standard librarian that you are
5. Find a Google gadget, preferably a simple one (and not the Bush or Twilight countdown ones)
6. Hook a component cable from the closed circuit system into the iBook
7. Turn off all screensavers
8. Zoom in on the iGoogle home page
9. Press Apple + Shift + 4 to get ready to take a screen shot (and move the mouse out of the way while zoomed in)
10. Dim the monitor but not the output
11. Laugh at the fact that your school clock now says “Simple Clock” and has screen coordinates in the top left corner of the TV
12. Build a hang glider out of chewing gum foil and an almanac

We’ve had some sad news hit the community.

We’ve also had some good news.

photo by Cheryl Evans/ Arizona Republic

Less Papageno, more eating quail. I walk the dangerous border of breaking Man Law by posting photos from a bachelor party. This is the risk I take for you, reader. (Grandparents, stay tuned. Cute photos to follow.)(Peter, Laurel, and The Master Predictor: check for the picture of the country club version of the greengrocer’s apostrophe.)

Have you ever been to Bill Johnson’s Big Apple?

It stands out as being garish on Van Buren, which is saying quite a bit. But the serving staff is great. Our waitress was Ronda. I had to do my best to not bust out as Brian Williams.

On the topic of busting out: I’m glad to see Bill dressed up for the bachelor party.

They decorate in sawdust, so you know the meat is good. The quality of the establishment is proportional to the surface area of sawdust multiplied by the number of animals on the roof.

Endless Ribs, Endless Ribs…who ordered the jalapeno poppers? Jeremy, the bachelor party tradition lives on. (And yes, that was darn good salmon. I stick to my principles.)

I was a little wary when I saw that they import cattle from Crete:

I love the look on the guy’s face in the bottom-left corner.

As anyone who survived World War Z or is a fan of Simon Pegg knows, in any restaraunt/pub you must locate a defense against the undead:

Thanks, Mike. If zombies attack, I know I can trust you. Unless you become Zombie Mike.

Next was LazerQuest. It should be noted that in a world of “Phyborg” and “Grand Moff Crotch” (as Andrew told the embarrassed girl who had to call out score cards at the end, “It’s my last name. Please don’t laugh.”), class was immediately added to the fray.

A. Hamilton and A. Burr. Guess who was the Federalist and who was the assassin?

Those high school kids didn’t know what hit them while the Father of Banking sniped them from his perch across the arena. Other names worth mentioning: you know it’s a group of brothers when you get names like “Tax Collector” and “The Preacher”. The irony? The Preacher officiated the wedding. (Devin, I was tempted to enter “Shepherd Book” as my name.)

At the wedding they had a Point and Shoot camera set up next to the guestbook. A fun addition was props:

My grandma’s cousin’s neighbor’s niece from The Motherland was in attendance:

Lovely crowd reaction

No matter how fancy the place, proper punctuation is prime.


Posted five feet from each other
I don’t know which will hurt The Futile Ohm more, a punctuation error or a lack of uniform typography. And that photo outside of the Women’s Locker Room (not the Locker’s Room)? Imagine what I would have to say to explain why a big, hairy man is taking photos outside of the door. Thankfully I rolled a 20 on my Stealth vs. Non-bathrooms check.

And now the random photo stream:

New category!