1. I cleaned the toilets
2. I mowed the lawn and got smooshed weed-eater weeds in my hair
3. My feet were covered in mud from watering the yard
4. My shins were covered in mud from washing yard furniture
5. I cleaned out a tube from my garbage disposal that was clogged with an interlacing sliced carrot array – water that can’t go forward does, in fact, spray backwards
6. My daughter vomited – don’t worry, my shirt and lap caught almost everything. The couch got a little, but she remained clean. (Which was actually my objective.)

That was all last night. I don’t say this to complain, only that I never thought me showering would be so freaking hilarious.

And here’s some cute kids making cupcakes:

Funny grandparents:

And here’s some more fun from the portfolio vault: High Noun Showdown

Semi-related posts:

1. Please list in order of most awesome to least awesome. Thank you
2. We aim to misbehave.
3. My Friend Wally Ruth