In a sarcastic tone – “Is this a scam?”

Here’s something from my college webmail:

Our criteria has changed, so if you are still interested in obtaining a real BA, BS, or MBA then let us know by Friday. We no longer require class time, and just need to verify your information via phone. Our Knowledge Based (D)egree Program (KBDP) is a legitimate program administered by our University. Since we require no class time you must call our educational consolers to verify your knowledge of the (d)egree of interest.

Our counselors are available 24 hours daily, so just leave a message and they will call you back shortly.

(773)-509-4920
Office of the Registrar

Yes, they did spell “counselors” as people who console. But please don’t call that phone number. Why did I go through this whole masters thing when I could have just proven my knowle(D)ge.

Something that is not a scheme is this whole thing with the post offices. If you still live in a neighborhood where the postal worker comes to the door, you can just leave your outgoing package on the doorstep and they will take it to the distribution center. This should hopefully relieve some post office stress this Christmas.

NAU beat ASU at basketball:

The young Devils struggled against an experienced Lumberjack team that started three seniors and a junior. NAU is the defending Big Sky Conference regular-season champions.

There was much talking of trash on campus today. It was described as a crushing defeat. You can tell we don’t focus on sports when we describe four points as “crushing”.

I guess that sophisticated people (like the guys from Korn and Incubus and Corn Incubus) enjoy Guitar Hero and the Wall Street Journal.

Michael Einziger, the 30-year-old guitarist for the hard-rock band Incubus, says he was “shocked at how hard it was” to play the videogame’s version of his song “Stellar.” He admits he was handily beaten by his then-14-year-old sister, Ruby Aldridge, when the two of them squared off earlier this year.

That’s funny.

Click here to read more.

Should I be concerned if a candidate is endorsed by the state newspaper? Is there some Kane Citizenry going on?

To be fair, the Republicans have been calling my house. We are moving up in the ranks, or so it would seem. Here is the chronological list of phone calls that we have received telling us to get out and vote for Republican candidates.

1. Some Melman RNC guy who keeps e-mailing my school address. “The Democrats are counting on you staying home.”
2. Jon Kyl
3. John McCain
4. Rudi Giuliani
5. President George W. Bush
6. Luis Gonzalez

It’s a sad venture, but I think this is in a progressive list of who the Republican party thinks is important, with 6 being top-ranking. I was awaiting Arnold, but I guess he couldn’t foot the long distance call from the governor’s Predatorium in California.

I was singing partial lyrics to Jimmy Cracks Corn (I don’t know if you care) and walked into the bedroom this afternoon. My wife was annoyed by the song. Minutes later she walked in laughing. The music clue on Jeopardy read “This song was said to be a favorite of Abraham Lincoln”. Guess which song that is?

The possibilities and conclusions boggle the mind. The reason that clue came up was:

1. I am a precog
2. God has a sense of humor
3. Alex Trebek emits mind-controlling radio waves
4. I have more in common with the 16th president than just a killer beard

Limitless possibilities.

What’s a blue tail fly and who’s the master they’re talking about? Click here to listen.

I think I’ll start a new contest. How many times can you find Brent and Tom in clipart? Winner gets something cool.
Here’s a picture of my friends from childhood, as seen on a purse that my mom bought:

He and two others will be hung for the massacre of a village.

Have any of you seen this video? I show it before Google the Destroyer of Worlds blocks it.

I usually don’t get too political here (notice the nonpartisanship in the ninja/pirate arena), but I do have some concerns about the border patrol web cams. In theory it looks like it would save money on patrolling the border. We would not need to pay as many agents if most of the scanning was done over the Internets (Internets being the world-wide web of computers that politicians use).

Web cams are set up across the border so that people at home can watch for “illegals” (the slang term). Here are some concerns:

1. Has INS/The MinuteMan Project considered the 8 year-old factor? What is to stop someone from tapping INS’s right shoulder but standing behind the left shoulder? “Hey! Check fence C! There’s a whole buncha illegals. But don’t waste your time on fence B. There’s no one there. It would be a waste of time. These are not the droids you’re looking for.” Even if the agent has a webcam to look at, you give me enough cell phones, especially the prepaid ones you can buy at Wal-Mart, and I could complicate their night. My general rule? If I can do it, or in my stead an 8 year-old could do it, a criminal has probably thought of it.
2. Has INS/The MinuteMan Project considered the moron factor? There are morons on the Internets. I expect that there will be many a phone call to the web cam hub of activity that will sound like this:
   INS: Thank you for calling. Please state your name for quality assurance.
   Caller: Oliver. Last name, Klosehoff.
   INS: Is that Russian?
   Caller: OMG. INS be pwned, joo, by HaX0r l33t tribez. All your base, f00.
3. Why is it a big issue now? Are we at a climate in our state politics where we are now comfortable blaming the illegals? Did they cause all of our problems? If you listen to the ads of Jim Pederson, Jon Kyl, J.D.Hayworth, Janet Napolitano, and pretty much everyone else on TV in our state (I think I heard Tex Earnhardt say, “We have Mustangs but no Coyotes and that ain’t no bull.” Don’t quote me on that, I could have misheard.) Which came first, us stressing out about the issue or the politicians telling us it’s an issue? Are our schools ranked worst because of migrant children taking our bread or could it be all of the superintendents of school districts the past few years who have been stealing from teachers, students, and parents?
4. Do we want people getting excited busting people from the comfort of their own home? We have webcams set up on the border. These are not the first government webcams. Hasn’t anyone seen ’24′? Traffic cameras are also up. If this saves a lot of money by busting immigrants, what’s to stop state legislators from proposing webcam monitoring at home for traffic violations? “You didn’t come to a complete stop before you made a right turn on red at 43rd and Indian School. HaX0Rz caughts jooz, n00b!” As one of my friends always reminds me, if you make a rule, the unfortunate thing is that you have to live by it. Do we really want to create a tattle-tale society? Do we want webcams everywhere, where you are monitoring your neighbor, your neighbor is watching the guy down the street [Begin Recursive Loop])Is this helping us to love our neighbor? I’m not saying that we give illegal immigrants the right to vote (even if they do pay sales tax). But…
5. What do the INS agents do once they’ve found the illegals? Do they ship them back? Do they detain them and treat everyone as a potential terrorist? (Did you know that we just lost a right last month? It was approved that if you were deemed an enemy of the state, you can be held indefinitely without a trial or even a nod at due process? This is good if you’re the bad guy, but what is the process that they use to separate the bad guys from people who protest against the government? I’m not a fan of Michael Moore, but I don’t think we should go Alien & Sedition Act on him. Yet.) What would happen if we funneled these illegal immigrants into the exact same process that legal immigrants use? What if we did that, starting relatively fresh, instead of trying to patch the problem?

Like I said, I don’t normally get political, but I wanted to make sure this got out on the Internets. I’m sure that the 8 year-old and I are not the first to think of these concerns, but just in case…