A Farewell to Arms

Not Ernest Hemmingway, this time. This article by John Carlin in 1997 sparked the movie Live Free or Die Hard. (Which, by the way, had a great quote about how it’s not a system to crash, it’s a nation with people living their daily lives.)

Here’s the beginning: (click here for the rest)

For those on the ramparts of the world’s sole superpower, the digital winds are blowing an icy chill through the triumphant glow of the post-Cold War.

People in Washington play lots of games, but none for higher stakes than The Day After. They played a version of it in the depths of the Cold War, hoping the exercise would shake loose some bright ideas for a US response to nuclear attack. They’re playing it again today, but the scenario has changed – now they’re preparing for information war.
The game takes 50 people, in five teams of ten. To ensure a fair and fruitful contest, each team includes a cross-section of official Washington – CIA spooks, FBI agents, foreign policy experts, Pentagon boffins, geopoliticos from the National Security Council – not the soldiers against the cops against the spies against the geeks against the wonks.
The Day After starts in a Defense Department briefing room. The teams are presented with a series of hypothetical incidents, said to have occurred during the preceding 24 hours. Georgia’s telecom system has gone down. The signals on Amtrak’s New York to Washington line have failed, precipitating a head-on collision. Air traffic control at LAX has collapsed. A bomb has exploded at an army base in Texas. And so forth.
The teams fan out to separate rooms with one hour to prepare briefing papers for the president. “Not to worry – these are isolated incidents, an unfortunate set of coincidences” is one possible conclusion. Another might be “Someone – we’re still trying to determine who – appears to have the US under full-scale attack.” Or maybe just “Round up the usual militia suspects.”
The game resumes a couple of days later. Things have gone from bad to worse. The power’s down in four northeastern states, Denver’s water supply has dried up, the US ambassador to Ethiopia has been kidnapped, and terrorists have hijacked an American Airlines 747 en route from Rome. Meanwhile, in Tehran, the mullahs are stepping up their rhetoric against the “Great Satan”: Iranian tanks are on the move toward Saudi Arabia. CNN’s Christiane Amanpour, in a flak jacket, is reporting live outside the US embassy in Addis Ababa. ABC’s Peter Jennings is quizzing George Stephanopoulos on the president’s state of mind.
When suddenly, the satellites over North America all go blind …
God, Voltaire said, is on the side of the big battalions. Not any more, He ain’t. Nor on the side of the richest or even – and this may surprise you – the most extravagantly well wired. Information technology is famously a great equalizer, a new hand that can tip the scales of power. And for those on the ramparts of the world’s sole superpower, the digital winds are blowing an icy chill through the post-Cold War’s triumphant glow.
Consider this litany. From former National Security Agency director John McConnell: “We’re more vulnerable than any other nation on earth.” Or former CIA deputy director William Studeman: “Massive networking makes the US the world’s most vulnerable target” (“and the most inviting,” he might have added). Or former US Deputy Attorney General Jaime Gorelick: “We will have a cyber equivalent of Pearl Harbor at some point, and we do not want to wait for that wake-up call.”
And the Pentagon brass? They commissioned their old RAND think-tank friends, who combed through the Day After results and concluded, “The more time one spent on this subject, the more one saw tough problems lacking concrete solutions and, in some cases, lacking even good ideas about where to start.”
Not that nothing is being done. On the contrary, there’s been a frenzy of activity, most of it little noticed by Washington at large. A presidential commission has been established; the FBI, the CIA, and the NSA have created their own specialist I-war teams; interagency bodies, complete with newly minted acronyms like IPTF (Infrastructure Protection Task Force) and CIWG (Critical Infrastructure Working Group), have been set up; defense advisory committees have been submitting reports thick and fast, calling for bigger budgets, smarter bombs, more surveillance, still more commissions to combat the cyber peril.
Yet, for all the bustle, there’s no clear direction. For all the heat, there isn’t a great deal of light. For all the talk about new threats, there’s a reflexive grasp for old responses – what was good enough to beat the Soviet Union and Saddam Hussein will be good enough to beat a bunch of hackers. Smarter hardware, says the Pentagon. Bigger ears, says the NSA. Better files, says the FBI. And meanwhile The Day After’s haunting refrain is playing over and over in the back of everyone’s mind: What do we tell the White House?
A little digitally induced confusion might be par for the course in, say, the telecom industry or even on the global financial markets. But warfare is something else altogether. And while the old Washington wheels slowly turn, information technology is undermining most of the world’s accumulated knowledge about armed conflict – since Sun Tzu, anyway.

Haiku 3 – The Reliant is dead. Long live the Reliant!

I’m actually choked up about this. It just turned 98,000 miles and does not have the 100,000 place. My odomoter would have zeroed out. When do you see that?

I think that we’ll be sharing one car. I’ve even looked at Vespas. I could theoretically get one for $2000. Keep in mind that I’m 6’9″.

Reliant, my foil
I’m accustomed to your face
No rear view mirror

I’m too sad to continue right now.

iPhone revisited

Is it bad that I crack myself up? I posted this article back in January. Here’s a sample:

In 2007 ‘Apple Computers’ became ‘Apple’ because of all of the peripherals. In 2008 ‘Apple’ became ‘The Illuminated Majestic-12 Fruit of the Templar’ because of the world domination.

and got no hits (to be fair, thank you Peter and Devin and Macedonia). Now people are going crazy, especially from digg.com, trying to get their hands on as much info as they can about the iPhone. Hilarious.

Oh, and the whole “Should I wait in line?”/”Will it sell out?” thing? Remember: the pregnant wife always wins (especially when referenced to out of stock Wiis).

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor

Update: There’s now a Haiku category.
We’re in the lab in summer school and I’m surrounded by the American Lit greats, like Poe.

I guess e.e. cummings wrote a poem a day from the age of 8 to something like 21. I will do an experiment. During SEI I was able to put out a webcomic a day.

Now, something far greater will occur.

365 Haiku

Summer school typing

Finn fights civilization

Quesadilla rafts

(I’m a little hungry.)

Wall Street Journal Referrals about PowerPoint

I’m getting a lot of referrals from the Wall Street Journal (which I never thought that I would see) because they linked to my site as having mentioned their article in something I posted.

I would hate to not give visitors new content.

I am an 8th grade English teacher. I am currently teaching high school American Lit during summer school (I actually enjoyed teaching Huck Finn this time around). My take on PowerPoint is that it is a great tool for struggling writers, especially when used in conjunction with outlining software like Inspiration.

It is in no way a substitute for essay writing. Yet it is a great lesson in editing (and plagiarism). My students want to just copy and paste from websites. What is great is that it is graphically obvious when you have grabbed a huge chunk of someone else’s text. It is especially noticeable when you have the students present their slides. When the audience starts to put their heads on their desks, your slide is too long. The students figure out which information is pertinent and which can be shaved. There is a drastic jump from the first presentation to the next one that the students do.

Now grade-school children turn in book reports via PowerPoint. The men call that an abomination. Children, they emphatically agree, need to think and write in complete paragraphs.

I think that little stick figure that’s in all your clip art is an abomination.

I will kill you with my key.

That and clippy:

Did you guys actually intend that or is this how Microsoft has twisted your dream like the George Lucas clones that they are? (I take that back. I’m a George fan.)

I understand the printing press analogy through all of the bad fonts and pages layouts that I see in assignments that are turned in. YouTube is evidence that video editing software can be used horribly wrong. (My film school buddy watched a DVD that I had made and was amazed that the home user could do some of the stuff that used to be restricted to the elite.)

PowerPoint has made business-style software that is more than just word processing accessible to students who traditionally would not take business electives. Each one of my students became proficient in content-driven PowerPoint before they left my classroom.

Now, I can’t mention PowerPoint without the ultimate PowerPoint comedian, Don McMillan.

And while we’re on technology…thanks for messing up the iPhone with your greed, AT&T.

Izzy, Phevos, and Athena: Future Microsoft Help Mascots?

 

Robert C. Girard Books

People at the funeral yesterday were talking about his books and looking up the quotes that we read. Here are the books:

He was also mentioned in Books for Believers on Amazon.

Buy the books, support his widow (and my wife’s grandma).

Check back at this site later this week for links to the personal website that I am creating for him. It should be an easy URL to get to.

If you want to feel close to the family, fill in the grave of the patriarch alongside the other generations of men in the family.

Tamara Beaman/Beeman – A Lesson in Con Artistry and the Phone Spam

Tamara Beeman of West Mercury Lane, I am on to you.

I thought that she may have had the phone number before me and the files had not been updated, but then we got a phone call at 8 a.m. asking for Tamara. When pressing further, the caller, thinking I was hiding her by saying there was no one there by that name, revealed that she had just put down my phone number on a recent application.

It is now my whiny bloggher duty to catalog every time that we get a phone call for her. Even when we were at our old apartment we were getting harassed for her (I thought she just had bad credit, the way the callers were angry and such).

As a matter of science I will not try to estimate all of the calls from previously. As of today the tally begins.

Oh, it’s on. It’s on like an Elebit in a vacuum cleaner.

Robert Girard – Obituary

Robert Girard (my wife’s grandpa) passed away on June 19 (my grandpa passed away in March). Here’s what was posted in the Arizona Republic:

Robert C. Girard   Click here to View and Sign Guest Book
Robert C. Girard, Born January 22, 1932 – Died June 19, 2007. Born to Colby and Viola Girard in Aberdeen, South Dakota on January 22, 1932, Robert went to be with his Lord on Tuesday, June 19th, 2007. He was a graduate of Miltonvale Wesleyan College in Miltonvale, KS, and was an internationally recognized speaker and best selling author of seven published books, including “Brethren Hang Loose” (1972), the Bible Commentary Sunday school curriculum for Scripture Press/David C Cook Publishers, and his most recent A Smart Guide To The Bible- The Book Of Acts, released on June 19th, the morning he died. Selah. During his 50+ years in ministry, Bob shepherded several churches in 4 different states. In 1965, he packed up and moved his family from Minneapolis, MN to Scottsdale, AZ where he lived for 14 years and founded Our Heritage Wesleyan Church (now Scottsdale Wesleyan). While at Our Heritage, “Pastor Bob” impacted thousands of lives through his devotion to Jesus Christ and His Word, his creative and innovative approach to ministry, and his fierce commitment to the body of Christ, his fellow believers. In 1981 the family relocated north to Lake Montezuma, AZ. There Bob strapped on a set of nail bags, built his family a home with his own hands, and settled in to the new community. He loved his new life, where some of his favorite activities were chopping wood to heat his house, driving the local school bus, and singing with his wife and family in various community and church events, where his signature deep resonant voice moved listeners to ponder just what God might sound like. He enjoyed especially his years as fireman and engineer for the local volunteer fire department. Bob is loved and respected in the community and was scheduled to be co- Grand Marshall of this year’s Fourth-of-July parade in Lake Montezuma, along with his wife, Audrey. Bob finished out his professional ministry at Montezuma Chapel in Lake Montezuma, where he pastored for over for 17 years and has remained an elder since retiring in 1998. He is deeply loved and will be dearly missed by his wife of 55 years, Audrey, of Lake Montezuma, his children- Christine Poehls and her husband Vern of Chandler, AZ, Charity Worden and her husband Scott of Lake Montezuma, and Bobby Girard and his wife, Meghan, of Brush Prairie, WA, thirteen grand children, three great-grand children, his step-mother Leila Girard, and 8 brothers and sisters- Carol Gregg, Wendell Girard, Tommy Girard, Charlotte Girard, Marilyn Jacobson, Susan Quattlebaum, Darlene Komora, and Colby Girard, Jr. Bob is now joyfully reunited with his children who preceeded him in death- Dixi, Jean Marie, and Billy. In lieu of flowers, donations can be sent to Montezuma Chapel (PO Box 5053, Lake Montezuma, AZ 86342). Services will be Saturday, June 23, 2007, beginning with a viewing at 2pm at Montezuma Chapel at 3450 Rusty Spurs Road in Lake Montezuma. Memorial Service will follow. Bob will be interred at 7pm at Middle Verde Cemetery. Dad loved sunsets. Bueler Camp Verde Funeral Home assisted the family.
Published in The Arizona Republic on 6/22/2007.

Expect a compilation book of his writings coming out later this year that I will be privileged to edit.

Click here for a listing of his books.

The Robert C. Girard Project homepage is at http://inlawfilms.com/robertgirard. Good stuff.

PowerPoint Creators Lament

If you have been referred by the Wall Street Journal, here is my take on the situation. 

The Wall Street Journal has a great interview with the creators of PowerPoint. Here’s an excerpt:

Mr. Gaskins and Mr. Austin, now 63 and 60, respectively, reflected on PowerPoint’s creation and its current omnipresence in an interview last week. They are intensely proud of their technical and strategic successes. But to a striking degree, they aren’t the least bit defensive about the criticisms routinely heard of PowerPoint. In fact, the best single source of PowerPoint commentary, both pro and con, (including a rich vein of Dilbert cartoons) can be found at RobertGaskins.com, his personal home page.

Perhaps the most scathing criticism comes from the Yale graphics guru Edward Tufte, who says the software “elevates format over content, betraying an attitude of commercialism that turns everything into a sales pitch.” He even suggested PowerPoint played a role in the Columbia shuttle disaster, as some vital technical news was buried in an otherwise upbeat slide.

No quarrel from Mr. Gaskins: “All the things Tufte says are absolutely true. People often make very bad use of PowerPoint.”

Mr. Gaskins reminds his questioner that a PowerPoint presentation was never supposed to be the entire proposal, just a quick summary of something longer and better thought out. He cites as an example his original business plan for the program: 53 densely argued pages long. The dozen or so slides that accompanied it were but the highlights.

Since then, he complains, “a lot of people in business have given up writing the documents. They just write the presentations, which are summaries without the detail, without the backup. A lot of people don’t like the intellectual rigor of actually doing the work.”

One of the problems, the men say, is that with PowerPoint now bundled with Office, vastly more people have access to the program than the relatively small group of salespeople for which is was intended. When video projectors became small and cheap, just about every room on earth became PowerPoint-ready.

Now grade-school children turn in book reports via PowerPoint. The men call that an abomination. Children, they emphatically agree, need to think and write in complete paragraphs.

Still, the men don’t appreciate PowerPoint being blamed for crimes it didn’t commit. Mr. Gaskins studied a vast collection of presentations before designing the program. Bullet points, he says, existed long before PowerPoint.

While the two certainly know how to use PowerPoint, neither consider themselves true power users. They don’t even know many of the advanced features it has come to sport. They also have no patience with cubicle warriors who, in the guise of doing actual work, spend endless hours fiddling with fonts. And they like telling the joke that the best way to paralyze an opposition army is to ship it PowerPoint and, thus, contaminate its decision making, something some analysts say has happened at the Pentagon.

Both left Microsoft in the 1990s and now pursue personal projects. Mr. Austin attended every day of last week’s Apple developer conference, keeping up with the kids. While the two agree there is probably room for a PowerPoint-like program for building high-end Web sites, neither has any desire to create it.

Not being the self-promoting type, neither of the men are particularly bothered about being much less famous than their creation. Whenever they do tell a stranger what they did in life, they usually hear how much the person can’t live without the program.

If they have a lament, it’s that complaints about PowerPoint are usually not about the software but about bad presentations. “It’s just like the printing press,” says Mr. Austin. “It enabled all sorts of garbage to be printed.”

As Mr. Gaskins puts it: “If they do an inadequate job with PowerPoint, they would do just as bad using something else.”

My Future Career

When I first took the test, I came up with astronomer. Then I got 1356g brain-weight and was recommended as a mathematician. It’s later at night and I came up with 1236g – adventurer (who, I guess, don’t need as much brain power).
There is something to be said about Japanese schools. Sure they may be tougher tested, elitist, and meet six days a week, but at least you can still have the hope of living your potential as an adventurer.

I would love to sit in on that guidance counselor meeting.

Mrs. Eyer: What types of skills can you offer a future employer?

Me: Well, I can leap chasms, dodge poison arrows, and swing from vines.

Mrs. Eyer: What type of extra-curricular activities have you pursued?

Me: Last summer I recovered the Eye of Shamba-baba. I also took a class entitled “Tip-toeing on Reptile Heads: How not to suffer a pitfall” at the public library.

Wicked Late-Night

I noticed this while laying on the couch exhausted watching the DVD with an ill child tonight…

Has anyone ever noticed the similarities between Jay Leno and Lady Tremaine (Wicked Step-mother)?

Coincidence?

Of course, Rosie O’Donnell has always reminded me of the Sea Witch, but who hasn’t thought that?