Monthly Archives: February 2008

Mr. Men

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  1. What is that open hand thumb to his head thing that Simon Cowell is doing this season?
  2. Mr. Men, especially Mr. Tickle, were the books we always wanted to get as elementary students. Now Cartoon Network has an animated version of it.
    Mr. FREAKING Tickle
  3. Is it bad that I had no inclination to get Smash Brothers Brawl until I saw Link take on Samus take on Snake? I am, in fact, a NERD!

The Haiku
When debating states
of coolness and obsession
- the word DUH appears

Amnesty International not Cool with Time Magazine

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Or at least Time’s choice of Man of the Year:
(And Pakistan tried to block YouTube and shut down Google YouTube for two hours. Like Starbucks closing nationwide for customer service training.)

The murders of outspoken journalists go unsolved, independent media outlets have been shut and police have attacked opposition protesters, said the report.

It also said “arbitrary” laws were curbing the right to express opinion and silencing NGOs deemed to be a threat by the authorities.

The report comes ahead of Russian’s presidential elections on 2 March.

The director of Amnesty International UK, Kate Allen, said: “The space for freedom of speech is shrinking alarmingly in Russia and it’s now imperative that the Russian authorities reverse this trend.”

She said dissent could be a matter of life or death in the case of outspoken journalists like Anna Politkovskaya, who was shot dead in Moscow two years ago.

The 52-page Freedom Limited report warned any opposition demonstrations could suffer heavy clampdowns in the coming days, as Amnesty said had happened in the run-up to past elections.

First Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev, whom President Putin has named his favoured successor, is expected to be elected in this Sunday’s poll.

The Haiku
You can try to shut
the mouths of the people but
monkey clips win out.

Kraka’s Holocam- Session 2

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The next image displayed is out a viewport. A giant worm is weaving its way through the depths of space. A breached space station is left in its wake.

Four asteroids begin to move erratically. They break into what seems to be a formation of unnatural motion. One of the asteroids spouts a volcano of plasma at the ship. The camera shifts and a Mon Calamari arm pushes it back. Sounds of combat can be heard but all that can be seen is the back of a freighter co-pilot chair. The camera turns off.

When the footage continues, a planet’s continent is engulfed in flames and ash. At the center is a crater a couple of kilometers wide. The space station is no longer in orbit.

Tidal waves begin at the impact. The slow moving waves gain momentum. The other continent will soon be under water. The camera drifts back from the viewport. Resting his head and right arm on the window is a Mon Calamari lost in thought, pulling in gingerly a left arm in a sling. He shakes his head.

Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine

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Today we got on the Virtual Console Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine. (Same game as Dr. Mario – just a longer title.)

Where Dr. Robotnik Succeeds

  1. Get four connecting beans and send refugee beans to your opponent
  2. Faster action – quick menu system helps you play over and over again – “Just one more…”
  3. Not throwing pills at a problem.

Where Robotnik dies

  1. There’s a storyline, but I don’t get quite how we’re saving the beans by aligning them
  2. Isn’t this guy called Dr. Eggman?
  3. I can only type the title once before my hand cramps up

If you like puzzle games, this is a fun one.

The Haiku
Last night was guy night -
After drinking a Rock Star
and a Full Throttle

My dice rolls improved
as well as the twitching in
my time travel eye

Star Wars E-mails

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I don’t know if you’ve seen this from way back, but it made me laugh:

Subject Trash Compactor
From Death Star Detention Level Janitor Date A Long Time Ago 7:46 PM
To Nardo Pace

Hey, kid. That trash compactor you designed is up and running and I’ve got to say it looks great. Lots of grime, a magnetically sealed hatch that can’t be opened from the inside, a tentacled garbage creature that practically serves no purpose at all. It’s got everything a salty old janitor could ever want.

One thing, though. It takes an awful long time to flatten garbage. I’m talking a minute or more, depending on how many flimsy poles I toss in there. If our capital ships can boogie at faster than light speeds, why can’t we make a few walls slide toward one another at a speed that outpaces a Hutt’s leisurely stroll?

Subject breathing device too f***in LOUD
From Lord Vader
Date A Long Time Ago 12:20 AM
To Nardo Pace

yo hey i still dont understand whats going on with this thing

can u put a knob on my breather apperatis so i can turn down the volume when im in the library or sneakin up on maintenence droids? why did u put a speaker on this thing in the first place lol

also,

Subject E-11 Blaster Rifle Calibration Still Off
From Stormtrooper Commander 09731 <09731@empiremail.com>
Date A Long Time Ago 3:51 PM
To Nardo Pace

As you know, the E-11 has come a long way since its initial prototype. Thanks to your hard work over the past three years the rifle no longer fires completely sideways, and with your latest revision, the number of casualties resulting from blaster fire being directed completely backwards has been drastically reduced.

That said, the E-11 still has some accuracy issues. We recently bolted one of the rifles to a testing mechanism so that it couldn’t move even a millimeter, then set up a human-sized target six feet in front of the blaster’s barrel. Shooting in two second intervals, we let the E-11 fire at the target continuously for three days.

The result? Not one shot hit the target. I realize you’re busy, but perhaps we can go over the design one more time and iron this out.

Subject Death Star
From Foreman Galhi
Date A Long Time Ago 8:13 PM
To Nardo Pace

Keep your chin up, ok? Don’t let the whole “Death Star getting blown up” thing get you down.

It’s really my fault just as much as it is yours. Your original plan called for three weak spots, and I asked you to cut it down to one. If I had suggested we get rid of the weak spots altogether none of this would have happened.

What do we do now? Mope? No. We learn from our mistakes and make an adjustment to the blueprint for the new Death Star I’m working on.

Construction is going great, by the way. As you suggested, instead of constructing a defensive shell around the framework then working my way inward, I’m just building all the cool stuff in the middle first. I think you’re right, it’s the best way to go.

Subject AT-ATs… hell yeah!
From Maximilian Veers
Date A Long Time Ago 10:09 AM
To Nardo Pace

WOOO! Are you kidding me? Are you freaking kidding me!? These AT-ATs rule!

I cannot believe how awesome they are. I’m personally piloting one on our upcoming operation on Hoth and I can’t wait to stomp on those rebel scum. There’s like, no way to stop these things. I’m a big fan of yours, man. Big fan.

Subject carbonite transport device
From Boba Fett
Date A Long Time Ago 3:17 PM
To Nardo Pace

I am currently transporting a bounty that has been frozen in carbonite with a device you created. I have been told to direct any questions or comments I might have your way.

This is obviously a new technology, but might I suggest adding a few security measures to the transport device’s control panel? Right now anyone can walk up to this thing and flip a few switches to release the frozen prisoner. I’m thinking a number pad with a secret code would be great, or heck, even a plain old key.

Just a friendly suggestion. Oh, and thanks for the modifications you made to my rocket pack. That “ignition” button square on the back of the pack where I can’t reach it is great.

Subject This darn bottomless shaft in my room
From Emperor Palpatine
Date A Long Time Ago 1:42 AM
To Nardo Pace

You are responsible for designing my Throne Room, yes? Do not doubt it. I can see the truth inside you. It burns with a twisted blackness that cannot be denied.

I ask you this: Why is there a chasm in my room? Was it really necessary? What purpose does it serve? Nothing useful has ever come of it. In fact, sometimes when I awake in the middle of the night and stumble in the darkness while making my way to the Imperial Restroom, I mistakenly wobble along the shaft’s edge. I also bump my knee on the Imperial Coffee Table, but that is another matter.

I’m expecting very important company today, but I fully expect that you will draw up plans for a grate to cover this errant hole and have someone build it tomorrow. It is your destiny.

Ally Carter (woot!), Amulet, and a Very Tired Haiku

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On Friday I had Ally Carter at my library. Here you can read all of the awesome stuff that I learned. The French would call it tres fun.

If you have not read Amulet by Kazu Kibuishi yet, do so at the quickest juncture. (General reader, assume I that I am talking to you. Devin, know that it is to you I truly speak.) Hugo Cabret is a decent read, as well. Lots of full-page illustrations told through a camera lens.

The Haiku
Ally joked around
about how crazy it was
to go by two names

When she thought she was crazy, I wanted to share just how similar a story I had with split writing personalities.