Monthly Archives: April 2008

Shaq’s most outrageous and disturbing behavior

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There are several theories about Shaq’s behavior of the past 8 years. One theory is that, Shaq may be heading for a mid-life crisis and has the need to express himself in an outward display of agression. A second theory is that Shaq is secretly the missing link and evolutionary hybrid of Sasquatch(the YETTI) and one exceptionally large man, and because of his inner conflict, has a desperate need for self-identity, and therefore lashes out at others in an attempt to feel better about himself.

Whatever the case may be, watch the following videos and determine for yourself, the real reasons for Shaq’s most outrageous and disturbing behavior.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWqPnEGzfK8&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiGfonanmWo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmBWNrTb7xY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3h4jJj1sAQ&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhnHn5bREhs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ3FXLyNFew&feature=related

Michael Stackpole read my bloggh

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!!!
(Which is the enthusiastic response of the stereotypical Square Enix character.)

During AIMS today (ironically enough) I was browsing my incoming links when I saw that the admin of michaelstackpole.com had spent some time reading one of my articles. I guess by being fans and talking about his books he actually noticed. I would have written geeky stuff anyways, but now my favorite author is checking out my stuff?

!!!

Now to get him, the populator of Rogue Squadron, Corran Horn, the Jensaarai, and pretty much anything else cool about the Star Wars Expanded Universe, to visit my library…

The Haiku
It is worth the sit
To quietly proctor here
When authors visit

Interesting observation of music today

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It has been apparent that the current popular genre is that of “emo” influence. I find it hilarious how quickly styles change, from the bleached blond tips of the hair that were popular when I was in high school(class of ’03), to the now popular thing which is where everyone looks like clones of The Beatles, but with the addition of guys wearing girl pants and clothes that are 2 sizes too small for them while carrying around iPods. One of my good friends and I were driving a few weeks ago and he pointed out that every single person he saw walking on the street had an iPod in their ear. He went on to ask, “Why don’t people take the time to just walk and enjoy the world around them, instead of drowning out everything with the iPod.” My response was, “Because most people purposely want to escape from this world, because they are deep down inside wanting something more from their life. Yet they complain about everything and in the process, depress the rest of us.”

I remember watching the MTV Music Awards 4 years ago in which Chris Rock hosted it. He introduced Cold Play, and after they were done playing “The Wizard” song, he asked the audience if they were ready to slit their wrists yet and call it a day. I have never laughed so hard at a TV moment before ever.

I believe firmly that music has a profound influence on life itself. If you create music that sounds like garbage, it will have a negative influence on the physical surroundings over a given period of time. There was a great study done to show that Mozart’s symphonies helped produce growth in plant life after an experiment was done in which scientists isolated a single plant in a room with nothing else but Mozart’s works. Over a long period of time the plant started to grow with amazing proportions.

With that being said, I also believe firmly to the highest degree that if one were to put a plant, with the same rules applied where there was nothing inside the room but music itself, that if scientists played the music of Snow Patrol, ColdPlay, James Blunt, the Fray, Joe Purdy and whatever other stuff that sounds like that, that plant would not only die, but it would also eradicate and disintegrate itself in an attempt to totally escape the torment of songs such as “Guess I’m Gonna Give Up” and “Chasing Cars”. My only hope is that people will start to catch on that music like this belongs in the hands of the CIA for usage of interrogation techniques.

I find your lack of Cheetos disturbing…

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Geeks
As depicted in Wired

So, I know that Wired is a geek’s dream magazine of sorts, but as geekdom a la Chuck becomes trendier, will it make geeks more socially acceptable? Truly?

Here’s the big challenge: What if geeks that looked like the majority of geeks were actually used as models? (Instead of people that I think look like they’re from American Idol. Is it just me, or does the Video Game Geek in figure 3 look a lot like David Cook from this season?)

Here is my quick litmus test of geekiness:

  1. Are they excited about Dr. Who streaming video, even more than Sarah Connor?
  2. Are they friends with a munchkin rules lawyer?
  3. Do they already know about Rogue Shadow being in LEGO form?
    Rogue Shadow
  4. Would they probably get run over by an electric car?
  5. And an addition: do they think it’s ridiculous that the government wants to intentionally make cars louder because of our gadget fixations?

My wife says that the big thing to check for in that Wired photo is to check for chiseled jaw or not.

The Haiku
Can they market us -
the antiestablishment -
with established looks?

I actually am not too horribly offended by trying to mainstream my people, but here’s the picture that I think they should have used (yes, still loving the Wacom):

By the way – have you seen the new video that Yahoo! Mail is using to explain chat and directions? Fun Lord of the Rings references. Here’s a screenshot.

PBS on iTunes U

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Basically another reason I think that when everyone is supposed to switch to digital converters for their TVs, there’s still going to be cool programming, for free, that the MacBook will bring in.

If you haven’t seen iTunes U, there are some great college courses that have free podcasts.

Now PBS has teamed up with iTunes U for free, downloadable TV shows. Great stuff.

And I busted out my own college CD stuff tonight with my daughter. Moby’s Play has a good ratio of tracks to tracks I will actually listen to.

The Haiku(s)
Electromagnets
and proton/neutron hang outs
inspire crazy hair

There will be knowledge
prevailing over the ‘nets
but will we listen?

Author John Flanagan Visits

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Frank Beddor was crazy and jumped up on our tables. Ally had less table-jumping but great insight into the writing process (dirty water out of the hose first).

John Flanagan was a good way to end author visits for the school year. He told us about his work in TV but how he really wanted to be an author. I loved the fact that his big celebration was not a big house/car but that he could do his dream and still support his family. (That excitement was demonstrated by looking like a “loon” as he and his wife pulled up to stop lights (instead of the bland faces people normally present.))

He also talked about how he started Ranger’s Apprentice to hook his son on reading. His son’s favorite part was Halt catching Will in the tower. He never knew you could actually feel fear in a story. Flanagan then stuck the stories in a desk for 12 years until his daughter recommended to get them published as Book 1. It’s cool that now we’re talking script by Paul Haggis (who, for the first time in Academy Award history won back-to-back awards for the scripts for Crash and Million Dollar Baby).

It’s even cooler that Paul Haggis took notice of Ranger’s Apprentice because the scriptwriter’s son loved the books. I am stoked because I still am boycotting the Stormbreaker movie because I’m such a fan of the Alex Rider series and usually young adult books-turned movies stink. (Did you see Eragon? Yeah, me neither.)

Flanagan had a great thing to say about all of the rejection letters (he gets so excited, he says sarcastically). You can’t guarantee success, but you can guarantee failure. He then shared Steven Bradbury’s story. (He also shared how kangaroos go from cutesy to old men kangaroos who lean on golf tees like they owe the place.)

Flanagan popped the balloon. Students got copies of Book 5, Sorcerer of the North (which comes out in November).

He signed my book “aka Halt”. I’m excited.

The Haiku
Great book made greater
But what can’t be made better
with some archery

Now to watch The Office. Yeah!

Commercial for Dave and Buster’s – the adult Chuck E. Cheese?!?!

Unexpected Party Guest

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Learning how to use the new Wacom tablet that the library got today. (Gotta teach kids how to use it by next Wednesday.)

Who brought the turtle?

I’m getting used to it, now that I installed the drivers. Above is an example from day 1 (tonight). I smell some fun learning projects. (Keep in mind Booyor’s BLOGgh spawned from my Master’s degree where I needed a place to break web pages before I had to turn in assignments and capstones. Now it’s just a sick obsession.)

I know this will sound dumb, but it’s so much easier to draw. (Yeah, smack your forehead, but whatever.) With the pressure sensitivity I’m getting some cool non-pencil-scanning results. The kids (especially the manga-aspiring students of my club) will flip.

The Haiku
In a new body
limited by mouse – but now
I draw like fifth grade

New Writing Project

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Having hung out with some great writers (another one coming up this Tuesday) I’ve been inspired to write more fiction.

One of Ally Carter’s biggest pet peeves is how people she meets say, “Oh! You’re an author? I have this book idea. It must be so easy and fun to write all day.” And yet…where’s their book? Not so easy, sucka! (Although Ally says it in a nicer tone of voice.)

I’ve been excited about the Haiku experiment. I’ve got some other Artsy stuff in the works, and I definitely dig Kraka’s Holocam (even if the stupid Chiss did short it out last adventure). I’m trying out Vanguard, a fun YA fiction (hopefully).

The Haiku
Maybe by blogging
I may be able to write
more than monster flicks

Vanguard – Monochromatic

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Light glinted off the battlefield crown of the White King. Sweat threatened to sting his eyes. He surveyed the mess.

Most of his foot soldiers lay fallen behind enemy lines. His battle emplacements crumbled, the result of a constant exchange with his antithesis, the Black King. Fires still burned in the remains of the catapults. Moving them to the front to protect the white royalty had only stalled the inevitable, it seemed. Others had been tricked by the Pirc Gambit, but the Black King pressed forward.

A sound of a horse galloping violently assaulted the king’s thoughts.

“Sir! They’ve broken through our main line. It’s time for -” A gurgle escaped the White Knight’s lips. As he and his horse collapsed in a heap, their bones sunk into the red grass. They appeared as ghosts behind the Black line of defenses. The knight held up his hand for the White King to see and lowered his head. He let his hand fall and shoulders slump.

Standing where the horse and rider once were on the battlefield presided a gaunt woman dressed all in black. Her long evening gown of a get-up flowed as she glided forward, her skinny, spindly fingers caressing her scepter.

“So, King-y, how are things?” She gave a cruel laugh.

She’s right there. Perhaps I could capture her unawares, thought the king. His muscles became coiled springs.

“I would reconsider. You really do need to think two steps ahead of your enemy, dear. So predictable.” The Black Queen waved her scepter, pointing it behind her. The White King looked past her shoulder. To the back right and back left of her were short men in tall, pointy hats. They grinned as they simultaneously wringed their hands in expectation.

The woman threw her head back in a cackle. She raised her arms and spun with a giggle. Her eyes became slits as her head whipped back towards the White King.

“Mate?”

A Day in the Life…

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Yes, the fact that I am writing a post is a momentous occasion. It’s so shocking, in fact, that just talking to Booyor about it made him literally run into a wall.

So, I had such an insane day yesterday, we thought it worthy of a blog post. As a point of reference, I stay at home with our two daughters (4 and almost-5-months). Some days we all get up early (6:30am) to take Dad to work. Here is a run-down of my Thursday:

6:00am: Both girls are awake. One is telling me it’s time to get dressed. The other is talking to herself in her crib. I should’ve realized it was going to be an off day…

7:00am: We drop Dad off at work. The 4 year-old asks me, “Mom, what does 3 plus 3 makes?” I show her how to count it on your fingers, and ask her to tell me. She answers, “Three.” Then she asks about 2 plus 2. She figures it out on her own this time. So, then I’m curious and I ask her about 2 plus 3. “Five” comes the answer from the back seat. More computation ensues as we drive down the freeways… Basically, as long as the numbers she’s adding are 5 or less, she’s adding perfectly.

7:30am-1:30pm: Lots of time spent in time out. Mostly, the 4 year-old… a couple of times: me.

8:30am: She asks me to get her scissors so she can cut some paper. I say no.

8:31am: She asks me to get her scissors so she can cut some paper. I say no.

8:32am: She asks me to get her scissors so she can cut some paper. I say no.

8:35am: She has gotten her step stool and has one knee on the stove. (The scissors are kept on the hood above the stove. They earned that spot after a self-inflicted hair style.) I say no, and send her to time-out.

8:40am: She asks me to get her scissors so she can cut some paper. I say no.

10:00am: The baby is asleep. The girl is playing by herself. I decide it’s time for a shower! While showering, the phone rings. I decide to let the answering machine get it.

10:20am: As I am drying off, my 4 year-old comes in and says, “Mom, the phone was ringing while you were in the shower. It was your friend.” I’m floored, “You answered the phone???? Who was it?” Girl: “I don’t know.” Me: “What did you say when you answered it? Girl: “Hello.” Me: “What did they say?” Girl: “Who is this?” Me: “And what did you say?” Girl: “The [last name].” Me: “What did they say?” Girl: “They’ll call you back.” I have decided it’s time to teach her how to answer the phone.

10:45am: “Mom, come see what I wrote on the computer.” Now, my daughter loves words, and she loves typing on the computer. Just last week, she showed me how she could open up Microsoft Word. When I cam out to look, the font was about 28-point and it was turquoise. Yep, she knows how to do that, too!

11:30am: I decide to clean off the table for lunch. Yep, I found the scissors and several pieces of cut paper on the table. At least my daughter owns up to her disobedience, but I still sent her to her room until lunch was ready… or so I had plan.

11:45am: I opened the fridge. I discovered the leftover bacon (uncooked, mind you) sitting on top of its ziploc bag on the floor of the fridge. I called the little girl from her bedroom, “Did you eat this bacon???!!?” “Yes.” I proceeded to tell her that it was not okay to eat bacon that hadn’t been cooked, that next time she wants a snack she should get some string cheese. Then I notice a folded up paper towel on one of the shelves. I opened it up to find a piece of bacon. I asked her if she had done this. She said, “Yes. I was full.” “How many pieces did you eat?” She thought about it… “Three.” MY CHILD ATE 3 PIECES OF UNCOOKED BACON!!!

12:00pm: I called my mom to find out if my child could DIE from eating uncooked bacon. Good news: she should be okay. I’m watching for parasite-like symptoms. Great.

Thankfully, aside from many more disobedient episodes, she was done with the experiments for the day. (Until she went to cooking lessons with Grandma… but that was supervised experimenting.)

Days like that are always good for a story. I’m very glad that they only come rarely. I fully expect her to grow about 3 inches next week, just to throw me for another loop. Finally, at the request of my Japanese poetry-loving husband, Booyor:

The Haiku
Phone calls and bacon
make for an interesting
day with my daughter

Celebrity DnD Stats and New Audio Compression

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Ron Paul as a Wizard, Steve Jobs as a Paladin. That’s dorky, and yet I am strangely drawn to quote it…and wonder how Kraka would fare against a fighter/barbarian.

“The Force is my ally, sucka!”

Did you hear about the new compression codec technology put out by the University of Rochester’s Mark Bock, Xiaoxiao Dong and Mark Sterling. If you follow that link you’ll be able to compare an MP3 file and a WAV re-recording that sound very similar.

Here’s how it works:

The team then set about creating a virtual player for the virtual clarinet. They modeled how a clarinet player interacts with the instrument including the fingerings, the force of breath, and the pressure of the player’s lips to determine how they would affect the response of the virtual clarinet. Then, says Bocko, it’s a matter of letting the computer “listen” to a real clarinet performance to infer and record the various actions required to create a specific sound. The original sound is then reproduced by feeding the record of the player’s actions back into the computer model.

It is 1000 times more powerful than an MP3. A MIDI file is 32K of the 20 second clarinet solo. With this Bock way of doing it, it’s less than 1K. (And much smaller than the MP3 and WAV.) It’s reproducing the musician, not the music. Craziness.

Much props, Rochester! Even if you did treat Jane Eyre like pajunk.

On the topic of pajunk:
New Kids
New Kids on the Block just announced a reunion tour, I guess. (Thirtysomething=musical midlife crisis)

Tune back in to the Today show on May 16 to hear the live concert from their new album (and some of their old stuff, too).

I remember being in 6th grade and my friend telling me that the way to pick up girls was to dance the NKOTB routines and sing in falsetto.

Nope, still a dork.

The Haiku
Using new codecs
scientists have captured sound
and boy bands weep

American Idol – “It’s Tricky”

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Okay, so this is actually a song I like. And street ball with Jason of the Dreads? That’s funny. I love all the stunt doubles needed for a Ford commercial.

I’ll have to watch some of the performances in detail, but I do remember watching the Clark Brothers in The Next Great American Band. I think it’s great that they won. Any mandolin that can rock like that needs to be broadcast for millions of viewers. I would love to see my students want to grow up to be mandoliers. (I’m reminded of Mike’s Confederate father.)

Idol Gives Back (featuring, surprise, Bono) seems a tad self-serving, but any amount of poverty help is good, I guess. (And I’d rather have Bono do his thing than watch annoying Chihuahua-Purse Fiends eating brains.)

And that Phil guy having his wife in the music video is pretty cool.

While watching tonight, though, I realized that Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) is in the new Leatherheads movie.

Positives:
1. Jim Halpert
2. O Brother-ness
3. Big monolith of a man punching the defensive line

Negatives:
1. Bridget Jones

I don’t know, may be a date night.