May 09 2008
Doom 4
Quick note from id Software - “Production has begun on DOOM 4™, the next journey into the legendary DOOM universe. We are expanding our internal team and are currently hiring to work on this highly anticipated title.”
It goes on to say….
“DOOM is part of the id Software DNA and demands the greatest talent and brightest minds in the industry to bring the next installment of our flagship franchise to Earth,” said Todd Hollenshead, CEO, id Software. “It’s critical for id Software to have the best creative minds in-house to develop games that meet the standards synonymous with our titles.”
Hold up, lets backtrack here, he really did say “Best Creative Minds to develop games that meet the standards synonymous with our titles.” As I read that, I began to wonder just what kind of “creative minds” that would entail.
Here’s a little profile of someone they may be looking for:
1.) Age: 40
2.) Level of Education: High School
3.) List previous work experience: Taping cats on doors and other horrific weird animal torment, demonologist liaison between hell and computer software
4.) Mental State: Fanatical psychotic bordering on mayhem/carnage
5.) Interests: Dreaming up ways a body could be exploded, dismembered, and destroyed with as much gore as possible coming out of every part. Also enjoys long sessions of howling at the moon on top of random rooftops. When Halloween rolls around, enjoys dressing up as the Quake guy and running and jumping around while shooting water guns at peoples’ feet and yelling “OWNED”.
6.) Religious preference: Anything dealing with chaos, destruction, evil goat crazy worship, and sports the colors red and black.
7.) List of references: Anyone who’s whole life revolves around the rocket launcher
8.) Future goals: To create an MMORPG to massively gory and evil that 12 year olds that play it will be traumatized merely from watching the intro.
Man, if they don’t get traumatized until the intro movie, you’re wasting all the potential of the art on the box.
[...] More Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a King Various at IGN.com While Slade may be on to something (I, for one, don’t know enough people whose life revolves around rocket launchers), Square is [...]
” Also enjoys long sessions of howling at the moon on top of random rooftops. ”
With that guy in the robot gargoyle suit.
“to bring the next installment of our flagship franchise to Earth”
To Earth? Because it’s already playing in the Poisoned Gates of Tartarus right now?
Devin! It just hit me! I noticed a lack of Logan hits to the site.
Is your new locale fully armed and operational?
Coming online now.
We’re getting settled in at the moment. I’m acutely aware of how much stuff I own that seems terribly unnecessary.