After playing one of the most fun video games known to man with one of my good friends, I returned home, turned on the TV, and the most vile thing I’ve ever seen came up on the screen immediately…..Meryl Streep in a “Helga” type outfit lip-syncing the words to the famously annoying melody of “Mamma Mia”. This theme has got to rank as one of the top most annoyingly disturbing melodies right up there with the “five hundred twenty five billion six hundred mili-SE-CONDS!!” theme from another creatively horrific flick known as “Rent!” Any film that has a plot where the bride-to-be tries to find out who her father is out of 3 of her mother’s past man-friends, and instead of going to each one individually and analyzing the evidence, you just invite them all to the wedding and throw caution to the wind with it, spells trouble for the viewer. Not only does it say to the viewer, “Man, this doesn’t look good…” but it also says, “Man, what was I thinking wasting my 4 bucks a gallon gas on coming to see this film?” Out of any of the actors in this film, the only one that I can honestly say that I trust to put on a good show is Stellan Skarsgård(Exorcist fame). His co-clowns of fathers in this movie include Pierce Brosnon(REMINGTON STEELE FAME OMG), and Colin Firth(also seen in..wouldn’t you know…THE MISTAKEN HUSBAND wow you can’t make this stuff up).
Predictably though, film critics will adore this film and deem it worthy of several Hollywood Film awards and proclaim it as the best thing that’s come out since…well…RENT!
What I find funny about Hollywood, and this isn’t just from my perspective, but I was talking with my pastor about Hollywood when he pointed out something very strange to me, “Only in Hollywood would you find the biggest egocentric people who set up all these award shows in which the actors vote for whoever amongst them as to who is/will be the most awesome of all.” This is certainly the case, because also Hollywood is the only place you would find a guy named Tom Cruise talk about how he’s operating on a certain level of whatever, and he’s working on getting to a certain level of awesome to heal people with his hands and do other unnaturally superstitious things like that.
Geez Mary Louise…..what would actors like John Wayne, Jimmy Stewart, Humphrey Bogart, Errol Flynn and even James Cagney have said about what Hollywood has turned into. Back in those times you saw actors acting out of a self-obligation to serve in the armed forces, not to look like heroes or to look good for the camera, but to help ensure the freedoms of a nation. What in the CRAP would Pierce Brosnon do if asked to serve in the armed forces…maybe he would wink his eye and raise his eyebrows at the same time like he did in trying to pass off as being James Bond. (Btw as far as Bonds go, Sean Connery all the way).
Save the money folks, go see Kung-Fu Panda(SCA-DOOSH), Mummy 3, Journey to the Center of the Earth, and most important of all….Dark Knight(RIP Heath Ledger).
To those of you who after reading this post are still considering even glancing at a commercial for “Mamma Mia!”, I’ve only got one thing to say to you….
Picard knows his stuff, there ya go, don’t let him down.
Semi-related posts:
“man-friends”
Ha.
Based on a pop band’s repertoire, eh? File this one under “Cool as Ice”, “Purple Rain”, and all that drek Cher has made simply because she used to be popular in the 60s.
We need more “Tommy” and “Spinal Tap”.