Booyor's BLOGgh!

With the final tally of money spent by both candidates combined at about $8 per vote, I can’t help but think of the Booyor System of Money. I see everything in terms of what I could’ve purchased instead. It used to be PS2 Greatest Hits ($19.99, guaranteed). “Let’s avoid that bank fee; that’s a PS2 game.” “Let’s not eat out tonight; that’s a PS2 game.” “I’ll hitchhike to work this week; that’s a PS2 game.” (Just kidding, Mom.)

So now our future Presidents have spent $8 per voter to get me to choose them. On the positive, I think we’ll see record numbers of voter turnout (and you will hear all about our Day of Ruing tomorrow).

Two questions, though:

1. Could anyone actually become President without spending more than $1,000?
   (Or even a million?) What kind of system is it when only rich/famous people can become President? Are they more qualified? (Okay, so that was all question one.)
2. What could they have spent that $8 on?

Right now I can’t tackle what’s hugely wrong with a media-drunk information society voting. But I can make some suggestions on what to spend the $8 on next time if you’re buying for me.

1. Wii Points – I could have gotten a decent Virtual Console game from the NES, Genesis, or Super NES. Ninja Gaiden? Hello?
2. 8 double cheeseburgers from McDonald’s – Hey, I’ll foot the sales tax. And if you’re going to one of those crummy McDonald’s, I’ll settle for the Hot n’ Spicy if they don’t have double cheeseburgers. In Albuquerque, add some green peppers. Charleston – Mickey D’s Sweet Tea
3. A matinee movie ticket – We might even have enough left over to fill up a Harkins cup
4. A RedBox keeper – Sure, it doesn’t have the fancy packaging. But at least it’s Iron Man and not Let Me Blame the Other Guy…Man.
5. Two dozen donuts
6. 6 vanilla mocha RockStars – Mmmm…I love elections.
7. A book – When Hunger Games comes out in paperback, you owe me. Or get my library another copy of Bogus to Bubbly.
8. 8 songs on iTunes- Would that cover every Weird Al polka medley?
9. Health Care for a kid in Honduras for a month
10. 800 pennies – Put them in a sock and I’ll get you the votes you need.

These are just off the top of my head, fellows. If you’re going to make policy, at least send me a better gift.

Update: By the time we’re done, it will be an estimated $5.3 billion spent on everyone’s (the Hillarys, Dodds, Romneys of the world included) campaigns. $5.3 billion. Yeah, the GDP of Nicaragua.

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