Monthly Archives: April 2009
Slade, you’re welcome
Easter Pictures
Who’s more annoying, Billy Mays or Vince?
Today after I got home from playing for Easter services at my brother’s church, I fell asleep as I had gotten up before any rooster knew what was coming. I was awoken by a loud man’s voice saying, “BILLY MAYS HERE!!!” that sent me in a state of temporary shock trying to figure out if there was an emergency situation around me, all to realize that it was just Billy Mays shouting his message to the rooftops about how much mini-portable lights will keep me from falling down the stairs or over the dog during the night time.
Later on I was watching TV and I came across a guy I’ve never seen before, and I hope to never see again. The product he was pushing was the “Sham-Wow” but he has an interesting approach at trying to get you to buy his stuff. He uses sarcasm and insults the viewer enough to where either the viewer walks away feeling dejected or wants to buy the product just to shut him up.
So I ask, which one is more annoying?
Billy Mays:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SabRvYb0eE
Vince:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwRISkyV_B8
Next Year’s Music Plans
We’re going for a mix of the two of these:
This one
and this one:
A Message from my Oldest
Pop Quiz 5: A Sound of Responsibility…Are you sure you didn’t want thunder?
I don’t quite remember car chases with man-bats and baboon lizards in the original Ray Bradbury story. (Ben Kingsley, if you need some of our coupons to get by, we’d understand. You don’t have to make movies like this. Didn’t you win an award or something?)(Gandhi and Bloodrayne in the same acting career? You are the Christopher Walken, my friend.)
The pop quiz results have been tallied up.
56% Observation
22% Intervention
22% Sucker Punch a T-Rex
Even if we thought we could change history by punching a T-Rex (much like Homer stepping on a butterfly), the crowd dictates that we observe more than the other two options combined.
Little known Simpsons fact: when Homer travels through time in Time and Punishment (THH:V), he’s only in that time period for as long as it takes a piece of toast to toast.
I am surprised, though. I could have sworn we were a more violent crowd. My nephew wants to intervene, but not punch a dinosaur.
New Sidebar Madnessitter
Everything’s all Tweet this and Itter that, so I’ve jumped on the bandwagon.
If you check out the sidebar there should be some familiar faces.
(nearly) Free Cereal and Milk
At Basha’s this week (for our area):
Kellogg’s cereal – Buy 3 boxes, get 1 gallon of milk free. Buy 5 boxes, get 2 gallons of milk free. Buy 7 boxes, get 3 gallons free.
And! If you can find the coupons from Sunday, there are coupons for $1.50 off Kellogg’s brand cereal.
Big Day for Booyor
I got my driver’s license today.
A new picture – I guess they require it to be updated every five years. My photo was from my junior year of high school in which I ditched out on study hall (a study hall monitored by a certain coach that started with G and ended with Neck (“You must be smart. I see you read.”)).
The ladies at the counter had to keep checking to see if it was me. Skinny neck, no facial hair, pompadour greased to the side. They agreed that it was time to update the photo.
Crazy situation: the workers were nice.
I showed up at 4:35pm. They close at 5pm but stop serving customers at 4:30pm. (Why not advertise a 4:30pm close time? That extra 30 minutes is Seinfeld-watchin’ time. I don’t know.)
They let me in. It pretty much was the online registration, but now at a kiosk. It took me a while to figure out to scroll down. It just had a statement, but nothing to click on. The woman next to me had the same issue.
Registered, form printed automatically, went to go stand in line for the photo.
I stood in front of the screen to take the photo. I’m bigger than the screen. They made me crouch down.
Next time you see me, ask to look at the card. Definitely a “different” ID.
Giraffe

Pro: Can decapitate a lion
Con: No pants
Pop Quiz 5: Time Travel
Make sure to check out Devin’s reminder about Chuck. Great show – I’m almost caught up. I wish I wasn’t so tired – when I think about the episodes the next day, I laugh. I wish it were on during the summer, as well. My current viewing trend is to sleep through the last ten minutes. I guess Orion died. There goes my dad theory.
Another show that I think I’m caught up with (refer back to my narcolepsy) is Lost.
This season has actually got me interested (previously I watched because my wife was). Hurley and Miles (permanently unlucky guy and ghost hunter guy) are talking about time travel, and the age-old “Well, that exists for him in this time period, because he’s already been here, but not for us” theories start flying. (I did appreciate Hurley staring at his hand, waiting for George McFly to make the future right again.)
But I think (just like many times I think about technology) that the core issue is not the how, but the why.
So, what better way to delve into the future than to offer up a pop quiz? We are officially done with standardized testing today, right?
For my awesome readers, the quiz should be embedded below. For my Facebook stalkers, click here for the quiz.
Results will be posted this weekend.
And thank you, Devin, for always knowing when to balance out my heaviness. (Meaning seriousness. I picture myself sitting at the bottom of a teeter-totter with someone flung into the air.)

The greatest nerd show on TV today?
With shows like Heroes, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, and The Big Bang Theory on TV nowadays, nerds seem to be getting a lot of attention. But I have to say, the finest of them all doesn’t seem to be as much attention. That show? Chuck.
It may not have the stereotypical science geeks that the Big Bang Theory offers, the franchise history of Terminator, or the genre ties of Heroes, but Chuck is a little different. While the storylines are, to some degree, nerd-centric, the real beauty of it lies in the little things. The casting- Voyager’s EMH as a computer expert, Meriadoc Brandybuck as a British rock star, Imhotep as a Fulcrum agent, and Firefly’s Jayne as the CIA thug. The show’s set decoration and prop choices are second only to The IT Crowd in nerd decorations- I love that Chuck has an issue of Knights of the Dinner Table on his wall, and the fact that he’s put the plans for the intersect into a copy of Ex Machina- a magazine about a guy who has superpowers given to him by a electrical accident- is a pretty brilliant choice. Plus it is loaded with references to other things nerds love- callbacks to Spies Like Us, IG-88 grenades, tickets to Zihuatanejo, and getting an “Oh, boy” from Chuck’s dad? Fantastic. Pile on top of that things like playing arcade games to Rush, a businessman named Lo Pan in Chinatown, jokes about ComicCon, and episodes directed by Lieutenant Tom Paris, and this show is nearly overloaded with the geek love.
One of the greatest things about the show, though, is the nerds- they look like normal people. Sure, they don’t look like most of the people on TV, but you don’t have any of the Urkel-esque “pants hitched up to the waist, snort when I laugh” overdone nerds that you see on, say, The Big Bang Theory or Ugly Betty, which both seem to follow the theory that TV nerds are good looking people made ugly by glasses and bad fashion sense. If you saw any employee of the BuyMore walking down the street, they’d just look normal, rather than Hollywood’s parody of what nerds look like, and that is surprisingly nice to see on TV today.
On top of that, the show is just fun. After following the heavy plots and turns of Heroes and Terminator, it can be pretty nice just to switch off the drama-ometer and enjoy the show. Don’t get me wrong, Chuck has some great plot and tough moments for the characters, too, but it’s never as heavy and dramatic- you’ve always got Morgan, Captain Awesome, or Casey around the corner with some dialogue that’s going to make you laugh after a bit. Sure, it may have similar problems to Heroes, in that so many things in this story seem to tie to people Chuck knows, but I can accept that easier than with Heroes- maybe, somehow, Chuck triggers my suspension of disbelief better than a show about people with superpowers. On the other hand, maybe I’m just willing to forgive a show that doesn’t take itself as seriously. Either way, there is no show out there that triggers my sense of nerdjoy the way that Chuck manages to on a weekly basis.
The Man in Black
There are multiple instances of men in black. This is who I got the idea from for today’s ensemble (complete with black staff shirt):
Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there’s a reason for the things that I have on.
I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin’ in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he’s a victim of the times.
I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you’d think He’s talking straight to you and me.
Well, we’re doin’ mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin’ cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we’re reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought ‘a be a Man In Black.
I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
I wear the black in mournin’ for the lives that could have been,
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.
And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
Believin’ that the Lord was on their side,
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
Believin’ that we all were on their side.
Well, there’s things that never will be right I know,
And things need changin’ everywhere you go,
But ’til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You’ll never see me wear a suit of white.
Ah, I’d love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that everything’s OK,
But I’ll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
‘Till things are brighter, I’m the Man In Black.
Check the news today and if you know me, you’ll understand.
Kid Crucifixion
Our small group kids decided to put on a dinner theater (theatre, if you will) while we ate homemade ice cream. They came up with it all on their own. It’s one thing to act out a manger scene, or Adam and Eve, like they did before.
But these kids know their stuff.
Recorded from my phone.
Switching tones, have you seen the beat-boxing chef?
Bob Kauflin (not in the video, but he does have a beatboxer coming to a worship conference) is a great worship leader (check my reactions to Band on the Run) that has helped shape our philosophy as a worship team; to get out of the way to serve the lyrics/serve the King.
And beatbox.
Major Minor – Team Up With a Friend and Rock the House
Novel Progress
Passed page 100 today.
Roth IRA
Definitely check out Slade’s adventures as a Kindergarten Cop.
I must admit that when I hear of Roth IRAs, I think of Supersoldiers or Van Halen (and the villains from Patriot Games).
But with a Roth IRA, it’s like a 401k or 403b where you pick stocks/bonds to put your money towards. I like Kiplinger’s take on the stock market: “think of them as on sale”. Very Confessions of a Shop-Aholic.
I guess Roth IRAs are tax-exempt as long as you don’t touch them until retirement. If you delve into the earnings part of it before that, though, it’s like a 10% fee or something. Erin Burt talks about more of the requirements. Part of it is that there’s a $160,000 married couple income limit to be able to put in the $5,000 each time.
I’m a librarian. No worries.
Here’s a cool calculator that might help motivate you to think about down the road.
I know one thing, though. I’m going to set up a direct deposit for a little section of my paycheck to go straight into a savings account labeled “CAN’T TOUCH THIS”. It’ll then help me manage my money better by me not seeing it. I’ll start with the Obamabucks that are part of his Making Work Pay program mixed with a little bit of my paycheck.
I’m also checking out investing in CDs (I know. iTunes, right?)(or certificates of deposits…one or the other). Though they lack the “liquidity” (I can’t touch the money for a while), that’s what I’m looking for. You lend the money to the bank for five years, they give you your money back with CD interest return rates. You have to wait out the five-year contract.
Another thought: when I pay off my student loans (which I hear is possible in this next decade of my life, officially getting old this year) I want to put that money each month that would be a student loan payment into “CAN’T TOUCH THIS”. I can then yell, “Hammertime!” and shuffle sideways out of my credit union. It will make the small sacrifices worth it.
Another reason to not teach elementary school…..April Fools Day
Holy crap. How much can elementary kids come up with when this day comes up? All I heard were jokes and lies about people either dying, riding unicorns, or even one 2nd grader comes up to me and says, “Guess who I saw today?” and my response was initially a thought to myself “if I ignore him and keep walking, maybe he will go away.” That did not happen how I wanted it to. Infact the kid runs up in front of me tugging on my pants and screams this time “GUESS WHO I SAW TODAY?!?!?” with eyes bulging out of his face, and I respond with, “Barack Obama”, and the boy says, “I SAW DARTH VADER and YOU LOOK LIKE HIM!!” and I responded with silence….puzzled and wondering what I need to do to get away from this psycho as fast as possible, and then the boy yells loud enough for the entire neighborhoodz0r to hear, “APRIL FOOLS”. I looked at him and I said, “haha…guess what….you almost had it right, I’m Darth Sidious..” he looks at me jaw dropped and says “are you really him?” which I followed up with..”No.” and walked away.
This was my face at the end of the day:

It’s all good, but I definitely thought of the high school students that I’ve regularly had the pleasure of working with and it nearly brought tears to my eyes to think, “Just a few weeks ago I was helping students learn about the inner chord structures and progressions found within the piece “Witch and the Saint” and now fast forward and what am I doing? ‘Old McDonald had a Farm”, which if I had it my way would be entitled “Old McDonald had enough of hearing kids sound like fart playing his song so he left the friggin’ barn”
No matter what happens to me during the day good or bad, seeing this picture will always bring out a laugh:

Google Docs Add-Ons – One Day Only
We’re in the middle of testing – high pressure and all that for a school. I’m in charge of testing and I see the following as I try to create a spreadsheet in Google Docs. Imagine my surprise.

Did you see some of the functions that Google Docs offers? I’m going to try out the subliminal messages for my next PowerPoint. It’ll even change your data to fit your hypothesis. I don’t know if I trust the CADIE sentence completer, though.
Check out more of what it can do by clicking here.
I think the robot brain may have gotten out of control.


























