Another absurd excerpt

Pandora on, Jeremy’s gift of Bose headphones appreciated, and a blasting of Flogging Molly, The Clash, and Howard Shore…

Here’s another section of the next project:

“Bah. The APF.” Erreg grimaced. “They feel like they own the place. They take what’s not theirs without putting in the effort.”

Fynn arched his eyebrow. “Really. Who else do I know that -”

Erreg grunted at Fynn with a head nod. It didn’t help Erreg’s defense that he was in the process of checking a fallen Blue for a wallet or pouch. He settled for an ornate rolled-up carpet.

Erreg wielded the carpet with his right arm, Fynn’s collar in his left, as the two made their way down an alleyway leading out of section five of Pother Square and into section four.

Pop Quiz 9: Prince Charming’s Guards

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In the above photo, Prince Charming’s guards turn to look at Cinderella when she first shows up to the dance. (You can tell what movie has been looping in my household this week. (Well, at least it’s not Nuclear Man. Right, Slade?))

So when she shows up, they give her an awkward glance. I’m wondering if those guards are thinking, “Wow. She looks more radiant than any other candidate.” or if they’re like, “Harumph. Who is this tardy attender?”

Here’s the quiz for my Facebook stalkers.

I also wonder if everyone in the kingdom is related:
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Either that or it’s one guy running around to three different jobs. Government employee. What do you expect?

Does Jay Leno have a distinct Tremaine lineage?

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For the cutesy aspect of today’s post, my oldest was telling me that some days she could remember this one detail, but on other days she couldn’t. Her words? “It’s very similar to an AB pattern.”

Enter ROETHLISBERGER, Stage Right

Orchestra crescendoes

QB (to the ballboy): Get me my hat.

The next set of plays leads the STEELERS to a win, with Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Up Around the Bend” playing amidst the sounds of the game.

I picture Setentacinco tonight doing a re-enactment of this scene.

Big Puppy: Get me my gloves.

The crowd howls like Teen Wolf and Mark Safan’s “Win in the End” plays as defensive players are tossed into the air like slow-motion rag dolls.

Finally, the debate is resolved.

Tycho asked, “Is Han -”
“He’s fine,” Leia said. “Han shot first.”
There was no more blasterfire to be heard.

p. 232 from Aaron Allston’s Betrayal

I’m glad that my mind can now rest at ease. The great debate that had spewed from a certain Greedo scene and a “special” edition is resolved.

Now you can wear your nerd shirt with pride. Oh, you already did? That’s cool.

I am currently coming out of the 9-9-09 revelry (and by “revelry” read “editing a wedding video” and “living life”) and able to put up some prose that I chose.

I think my brain is still slightly broken from finishing my book. I’m very excited with the cover that @jeremypoehls did (among all the other ways that he has helped out this week). I can’t wait for the professional site to add a ‘/books’, if you know what I’m saying.

I did put up two articles on that other site today, one concerning philosophers that impacted the Constitution.

Here’s an excerpt from my science article:
To set up your hypothesis
Make an informative guess
For what you will try
To be like Bill Nye
And live a life of success.

I think that some of you may appreciate the fact that I was the alternative assignment for the Obama speech, considering my previous assertion.

Those that love irony will enjoy hearing that I presented to the students questions about setting goals, how they can contribute to society, and why they should stay in school. This should sound somewhat familiar. (I was remiss in not mentioning caution in what you post online. When you consider the precedents I’ve established, it makes sense.)

Oh, and I asked them to support me while I dangled a flashy watch on a chain in front of them.

Just kidding.

Marketing Gleenius


Think back to the start of shows like Chuck and LOST (and, to some extent, The Office). For shows like that, with more of a semi-word of mouth following, many viewers tune in towards the middle-to-end of the season. (People like my mom come to mind.)

LOST has become a marketing mega-house and has thrown in some tropes to let the general viewing audience know “hey! Even though you think this show is weird, it’s the same story that other shows have.” I think what’s fun with Chuck is that it advertises this blatantly with no apologies.

It was smart marketing for Glee to put the pilot up at the end of the school year, when we’re just coming out of our fall viewing habits.

And then they didn’t stop there. How were people able to catch up with Chuck? Thank you, Hulu! The target audience has now had all summer to invest 47 minutes into the pilot for Glee.

A small tear runs down my cheek considering the chance that Captain Mal could have had.

So enjoy tomorrow night’s premiere. While Wash and Book are confined to DVDs (and our hearts), I now shall cheer for Will Schuester.

I recommend transcending the everyday from time to time.

It’s a little surreal to think that a few years ago (living in an apartment, just starting out as a teacher) I read through the Chronicles of Narnia as one giant book, cover to cover.

Okay, so the reading thing is not surreal. But here’s what is: I looked at the epic adventure that the characters were involved in, especially in Prince Caspian and Dawn Treader, and wondered what it would be like if Sunday School were like this. What if kids truly realized their role in the kingdom of God?

Now, having grown in my distinguished sideburns, I can sit back and marvel at what God has done with Holy Order of the Lion. Like I said – surreal. I had almost forgotten filming this trailer.

My oldest took sermon notes today in her little notebook. They read, “Fools NO!”. I think that’s a valid response to Proverbs.

Learn to Read with Booyor

I was going to talk about Accomplice (much like the Majestic-12 alternate reality game a while back)(that J.J. Abrams must have been a fan of) featuring NPH, but then my oldest wanted to visit Nick, Jr. My wife is out of the house, so I’m the responsible adult. I told my oldest that if she wanted to log in to Kai Little Dora Gabba Gabba, she had to read some sentences for me as I typed.

Here’s an excerpt from tonight’s Learn to Read textbook:

There once was a super bad guy named Darth Vader. He used to dress up like a fluffy, purple duck that liked to jump into lava and other hot soda. The funny part of the story is when he punches himself in his helmet. The Sith lord says, “Yow!”

See, Sam? See? Sith Sam? Sithspit!

She’s now standing next to me, wondering why I have to put such nonsense on my dot com.

This week she had to draw a picture of our family and label it.
“My family is: funny.”

I have a feeling ‘funny’ will be replaced with another word a decade from now.

Uses for Marshmallows

This is taken from a Reader’s Digest book someone donated to the library, Extraordinary Uses for Ordinary Things: 2,317 Ways to Save Money and Time:

  1. Stop ice-cream drips – Put one in the bottom of the cone. It doesn’t stop the top mess, but at least that you can see coming. It’s the bottom of the cone shenanigans that get me.
  2. Keep wax off birthday cakes – Put the candle in there. If the wax melts, you can discard the marshmallow. And it’s festive! (Festive? Like for Marshmallow Day or something?)(Dang! I guess there is a Marshmallow Day! August 30!! We missed it. Maybe we can catch the two day celebration of Día de Melcochas)
  3. Keep brown sugar soft – Throw a marshmallow in to dish out the moisture
  4. Separate toes when applying polish – I’ll have to take their word for it.
  5. Impromptu cupcake frosting – Add a marshmallow a minute before taking the cupcake out of the oven.

Irony Beats Design

Here are the results from Pop Quiz 8.

The Punisher and Goofy 40%
Beast and Beast 40%
Jiminy Cricket and Toad 20%
Ariel and Spider-man 0%

I guess that people don’t see the Little Mermaid as someone who can red-head swap for Mary Jane Watson. Perhaps Peter Parker has a fear of water. Is that behavioral conditioning based on nursery rhymes? Even an itsy-bitsy bit.

I think it’s funny that Penny Arcade saw the same irony/stereotypical name that I did. I love the “Best Beast” coffee mug.

The weird factor of Superman III and IV

I was talking with the tech guy at one of my schools and he brought up how his son’s favorite superhero is Superman, and then we started to chat about the movies that have all come out since the original motion picture. We all know that Superman I and II were epic in their own rights, and we also know that both of those movies have an entirely different feel to them than either Superman III and IV. I recently watched footage of Christopher Reeve on the Johnny Carson show giving an interview just prior to Superman III’s release. What I found funny is that he specifically intimates in later interviews after the movie that he believed Superman was meant to be a high quality and special character, and once the quality of sequels starts to diminish then it’s time to hang up the towel and pursue another path.

Superman III:
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Evil_Superman

In this movie, Superman takes some time away from Metropolis to go visit Smallville as his alter-ego Clark Kent because of a high school class reunion, where he meets up with Lana Lang again. While in Smallville, Richard Pryor enters into the picture as a computer genius that’s unemployed and looking for an easy way to get rich by working for (a poor-man’s Lex Luthor) Richard Vaughn’s character “Russ Webster”. What I find interesting about this movie is that there’s so much focus and emphasis on trying to make Pryor fit into a Superman movie, that it comes off so awkward like it’s a distorted and twisted comedy. My biggest beef with this movie is that it takes Superman into his evil side by having Richard Pryor expose him to “red kryptonite”(which I’ve never heard of since in any Superman related storyline). This is another awkward scene from the movie in which evil superman battles Clark Kent in a junkyard apprently on Liberty Island: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XY3dxb5OpIw

One word – weird.

But in the end all is good:
superman3_LC3

Superman IV: 0810120009592

According to Reeve’s interview with Carson, there was actually never supposed to be a Superman IV, as he said that he would hang up the cape after number III. My guess is that because of the epic box office let down of Superman III, the studio felt it would be such a horrible note to end on to leave the Superman movies off on the events of Superman III, so they decided to try it again with a fourth film in which the theme was based on “anti-nuclear warheads”. In this film, Superman takes it upon himself to end the world-wide nuclear threat by vowing to collect all nuclear weapons and flying them all out into space and hurling them at the sun. One thing I found very interesting is that I was always under the impression that there was only one “Nuclear Man” which is the pet villain of Lex Luthor in this film. In an early deleted scene, there is actually a “first nuclear man”:
NuclearMan1

The final nuclear man ends up being this guy:

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All in all I can definitely understand why the Superman franchise is expected to get a total reboot in 2011 with “Superman: Man of Steel”, considering that the last film to feel like it does the franchise justice was Superman II…with all it’s “KNEEL BEFORE ZOD”-ness.

Oh how far Zod has come – Zod-Sticker MV5BOTczMzk4NzY5Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNzA0NDE3._V1._SX299_SY400_

News Update: Barack Obama is President

On Tuesday Obama wants every student to tune in to whitehouse.gov to give them a challenge about excelling in school.

I thought my concern was how to display the site across our campus since our district censorship filters block parts of the White House’s site, including any video files.

What I didn’t know is that there is a vocal parent group that doesn’t want our students “brainwashed and indoctrinated by that corrupt office”.

It’s a message from the President. Hearing the complaints you would think we invited this guy.

Tomorrow I go to my first parent-teacher conference sitting on the other side of the desk. It should prove interesting, if anything.

Wii Fit Plus

The upgraded Wii Fit, with more exercises/games and, more importantly, the ability to create an exercise playlist, is scheduled for release on October 4 for $19.99.

This is yet another reason to love companies who have an obsession with white plastic. I felt the same appreciation for Snow Leopard – the slightly upgraded OS is worth the $25 I paid for it.

Thanks for not gouging us, even though you could have.

I had a weird moment yesterday when our maintenance guy started talking about Wii Sports Resort. The maintenance guy who is also a grizzled prospector (not being sarcastic) who comes to the library for old maps of our state.