You might appreciate news that the Old Republic is coming soon to PCs. IGN has a great list of must-haves for the game:
Monoclimes: Let’s face it, with an entire galaxy full of interesting worlds, it would be a bit boring if all of them had glaciers or forests or deserts. I mean, what would be the point of interstellar travel if you could find tundra and lava on the same planet? In order for The Old Republic to maintain some continuity with the franchise, it not only has to have Tatooine and Hoth and Endor, but any new planets must be defined by a single ecosystem that includes only one type of geography and weather. For true authenticity, you have to state these before the name of the planet, as in, “The Sith spies have taken refuge on the thicket-world of Olebe.”
Affirmative Action: The Republic has always been a leader in providing good jobs to non-Basic speaking races and shown particular acceptance to those races who mangle the language by confusing word order or inserting an annoying “sa” at the end of every pronoun. This tolerance even extends to droids who communicate through a sophisticated system of beeping and shoving. All the human player characters will be required to have at least one non-human or droid sidekick that doesn’t speak any Basic but is still able to understand and be understood by everyone else in the game. To keep these sidekicks in their proper place as defined by the traditions of the Star Wars universe, their promotion opportunities will be limited by the so-called “cockpit glass ceiling,” leaving them stuck as co-pilots and completely unable to find work as main characters.
Absentee Fathers: Whether we’re talking about virgin births or just run-of-the-mill orphaning, there’s just something about the Star Wars universe that encourages the idea of ambiguous ancestry. In the case of the game, we’re hoping that at least a few of the characters have to confront the idea that their dad just isn’t around, either because he’s wrapped up in his job as a high-level manager of an evil empire or because he’s the intangible force that binds the entire universe together. Even if a character happens to find a suitable substitute, you can pretty much bet the new dad won’t stick around much longer than the first one. They might still show up in the occasional beyond-the-grave cameo, but if you’ve ever tried to play catch with a blue-tinged apparition, you know just how frustrating this can be.
Super-scaled Villainy: Among the more evil megalomaniacs of the Star Wars universe, there’s no appreciation for the concept that less is more. Even for megalomaniacs, these guys are taking it pretty far. Some may simply be amassing an army of clones; some might be in the midst of constructing a massive space station that can destroy entire planets; still others might be searching out a weapon that can destroy entire suns. Whatever their motivation for wanting to control the galaxy, the bad guys in Star Wars never do things halfway. Once the Sith decide to walk down the road to the Dark Side, then the schemes and devices they use in The Old Republic have to absurdly oversized. We’ve already seen the Death Star and the Star Forge, so the new Sith super weapon has a lot to live up to.
Amputations: This one was an easy one. The world of Star Wars is already an incredibly dangerous place, what with the complete absence of traffic lights in the skyways above densely populated cities. To make matters worse, the security of the Republic is entrusted to a group of mystics armed with laser swords and trained in an overly theatrical combat style. Throw in an equally reckless group of similarly armed mystics in opposition to the first and you’ve got a recipe for massive amputations. At least once every few levels a Jedi or Sith character will be involved in an amputation, either as a victim or perpetrator (or possibly both).
Indigenous Empowerment: This is a tricky one. Once the bad guys have created their well trained, highly motivated, technologically superior army, they’re going to drop all pretense of “peacekeeping” and start capturing worlds left and right. While things are likely to go well for the villainous invaders when they’re facing opponents who fight on the same terms, they’ll want to make sure to avoid any direct contact with any outgunned or outnumbered indigenous forces. As powerful as those tanks and guns and giant walking robots may seem to be, they will be no match for the firm hearts and pointy sticks of the enemy. How embarrassing to have the entire invasion stopped dead in its tracks just because values like courage and self-sacrifice are more effective than the combined technological and military output of a star-spanning civilization.
There Is Another: Star Wars frequently gives you the big payoff and then resets the problem. Since that’s also the premise of the entire MMO genre, we think it’s definitely an aspect of the franchise that has to be included. Blow up the evil empire’s space station? Don’t worry! They’ll just start construction on another one. Slice that nasty Sith apprentice in half? Good job! We’ve got his replacement waiting in the wings. Even in situations where someone is clearly your “only hope” there’s no reason not to expect that they don’t have a sister who might be just as suited to the job. We’re happy, of course, when life hands us second chances, but The Old Republic will have to expand on that concept exponentially.
Parliamentary Procedure: With so many public schools across the country cutting back on Civics lessons, this is an area that BioWare simply can’t ignore. While it’s all well and good to showcase the big space battles and lightsaber fights, we all know that the real action in the Star Wars story takes place in the Senate chambers. Whether players are caught debating the course of the Galactic Civil War or merely filibustering the latest attempts to restrict the right to bear Lightsabers, characters need to have a chance to experience the intense excitement that can only be found within the endless speeches and votes of the democratic process. A copy of Robert’s Rules of Order might not be much help when facing down a herd of rampaging thicket-wraiths, but you’ll be glad to have it when you need to get amputation coverage added to the Galactic Health Care bill.
“I have a bad feeling about this.”: Yes, we know “May the Force be with you” probably ranks a little higher in terms of cultural relevance and comfort, but the true essence of Star Wars lies in the disturbing sense that things are about to get really bad. What’s particularly notable is that even those characters who aren’t able to tap directly into the Force are still able to predict that whatever situation they are in is going to get worse before it gets better. (Fish-headed leaders of space fleets are the notable exception.) During the course of every adventure, at least one character or companion will have to say this phrase just before things really start to unravel. For an added dose of realism, anytime something actually does go wrong, the same character should anxiously declare, “It’s not my fault!” If the crisis is caused by a piece of malfunctioning equipment, players should be able to hit it to get it working again.
