For more questionable reporting, check out how some news sites are running the the headline ’911 Called at the Tiger Woods Residence’ only to find out it’s his mother-in-law with stomach problems. William Randolph Hearst salutes you.
In a shocking news release yesterday, the EPA told reporters that greenhouse gases could kill human beings.
This is very unnerving, indeed, considering how greenhouse gases have only received praise from the media. This tarnishes the impeccable reputation previously sustained by greenhouse gases, putting them in the same league as kilohertz and Niehls Bohr for scary-sounding science vocabulary.
One neighbor was quoted as saying, “I don’t think any of us could see it coming. Greenhouse gases were always such good neighbors. They were quiet and kept to themselves. It’s a real shame, if you ask me.”
In other news, Richard Branson, winner of The Bloggh’s 2008 Beardiest Billionaire Award, finally made it possible for people with lots of money to escape the confines of Earth and rise above their tortured existence of having lots of money and getting what they want. I’m glad their dreams can finally be fulfilled.
In keeping with VSS Enterprise tradition, Branson gave a Shatner-esque double thumbs-up, called a spaceship sexy, and put a picture of a woman in tights on the hull.
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