How many differences can you spot?

I know we have a creative bunch reading the bloggh, so here’s the deal: friends of ours got a dog and they’re changing the name (the previous name translated to “little flatulence” or something like that). They’d like your help in choosing a name. Yes, Ewok names will be considered. I already submitted Logray to the mix. I personally think he looks like a mogwai, though.

Post your ideas in the comments.

I’ve been sick since Thursday night and have been in bed/on the couch in a stupor. Today my goal is to be ready for work tomorrow, since I only have 77 sick days remaining (I don’t call in much).

As promised, here is the Bloggh’s CoverIt Live of the Super Bowl. Feel free to request a name to add to the commentary:

This is the camera plan for Friday. This is for my own records, but I’m sure some can appreciate the schematic.

Thanks, J, for making it comprehensible.

There’s one thing that I know all my readers can rally around: esoteric narrative with postmodern themes and motifs.

Today we’ll be crafting a story together. I’ll give you the starter and you put aside any pretenses that there’s quality assurance in content and just post the next part of the story in the comments.

The community effort will be like Wikipedia, except without all the jerks who say my edits are “dubious”. Facebook readers, you can respond to the note.

Here’s the start…

……

There was a group of friends who hung out in the driveway. They were surprised by the first trick-or-treater.

There’s a story here
Of this you can be certain
Go ahead and guess

You could go out into the streets and shout Star Wars obscenities in binary, if that’s your thing.

01000111 01101111 00100000 01101011 01101001 01110011 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110111 01101111 01101111 01101011 01101001 01100101

My wife is going to be watching our church secretary try out for roller derby.

Yeah. Not being sarcastic.

On the topic of the unexpected: I came across this article about concert violinist Joshua Bell and a social experiment he did in the subway. Well worth the read.

I’m posting from a smartphone right now. More info later. Let’s just say there’s a Google App for that.

The questions:

• What do you love?
• What do you fear?
• What makes you laugh?
• What’s in your pocket? Is there a story behind any of the objects?

I am so filming Star Wars night from the MacBook.

I set up a CoverIt Live event as an experiment. If we have Internet, I’ll post some updates. Even if we don’t have a wi-fi signal, I set it up to read Twitter updates from people’s Twitter timeline and add it into the conversation. If you want to join the fun, add the hashtag #starwarsnight or #swn to your Twitter update to be added to the timeline.

Oh, the Interwebs. More fun than hitting myself in the head with empty milk jugs.

I think you may see an EB Lane blog post about our proud state’s infernal sunshine sometime in the near future. I’m intrigued by what people want to see melted in the sun. Leave a comment with additions to the list of things to melt:

• Edward Cullen/Jacob Nakedguy doll – you could have a whole, “Whose team do you want to melt?” competition to find out who really sparkles – vampire/sunlight irony
• a copy of Fahrenheit 451
• quesadilla
• @algore‘s hopes and dreams
• pop corn kernels
• Peep
• Gummi Bear
• Barbie with kerosene
• Barney VHS
• rubber soles of old shoes
• army man under Death Star magnifying glass (make your own solar death ray with instructions from here)
• M&M’s – melt in your mouth, not in your hand?
• Old Spice – eliminate the advertising competition – not being able to watch the funny videos would be a hefty cost, though
• ice cream
• cheap steak
• pancakes
• crayons
• popsicles
• dry ice
• milk shake
• eggs
• bacon
• crayons
• snooty candles
• tapered candle
• JELL-O

Thanks to @kennokishi, @jesseisme, @fierypinkgirl, and @billando for the ideas. You can also message @ElScorpio, the Madman, (get it? play on the advertising thing…wakka wakka) with ideas.

This feels a bit like MythBusters.

Today was Nintendo’s E3 press conference. I got to watch it live (via streaming) and go crazy right alongside the people in the audience. Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword looks great, as anticipated. The controls were a little off and the demo guy told the audience to turn off all wireless devices, making fun of the trouble Steve Jobs had connecting to the Internet during the iPhone reveal.

Kirby: Epic Yarn has an amazing style. Every character is made from a piece of string.

EA Sports Active 2.0 looks cool. It’s completely wireless and one of the controllers is a heart-rate monitor, checking more accurately how efficient your workout is. It also has the ability to coordinate data online like the Nike+iPod system.

The big reveal for me, though, was GoldenEye. I remember my residents at NAU playing this for hours on end in the days of the Nintendo 64. It retained the split-screen multiplayer but now includes 16 online types of matches. I’ll be curious to see if FORZO (or whatever Slade calls himself now) and I can play online versus the world.

Oh. And the portable game system that can take 3D photos and play 3D movies and games.

Sunday we had our birthday celebration. Yeah, some things have happened in the past few months. During one of the conversations, J’s youngest brother agreed to a spontaneous haircut.

He went from Tired Aquatic Mad Scientist to In a Similar Manner to Lincoln Brewster. I think we should have gone more David Crowder.

Click on the thumbnail to see the full picture.

Mine – Double Cheeseburger Amana Robot

My oldest – FoodMaker Robot

My youngest – “Ha Ha! Robot!”

The unbroken crayon selection is quite girly in our house. I need to get my own set or Darth Vader will be sporting hot pink Sith alchemy.

I am but a mere mortal and no king of Atlantis and yet my powers of beardery are more applicable than Aquaman’s. In the same respect, you’ll notice a ceramic seahorse that I’ve constructed. The sea only gives it the ability to be asymmetrical. At a later date you will witness the unspeakable wrath of my forgeborne horse.

The proper response shall be to cower and/or sing a telegram.

It’s been a while since I’ve been impatient about my beard regrowing. There were so many comments from teachers questioning who the new librarian was. The change in hair status was literally a classroom disruption…twice (three times if you count the class walking by that stopped to stare). I walked into a class to solve a projector problem (the Video source button is the one you want to hit when you want to show a video) and the class gasped.

To be honest, I did pretend to take on Slade’s “walking around the mall” persona for a bit today. Here’s a simulation:

In his own words, here’s why he’s the best candidate:

“#votekishi: Because I don’t know enough about the real estate market to even attempt to defraud it.”

“If elected as governor, I promise that every household will have a robot servant. #votekishi”

“Just for that, I’m misappropriating your image to use in my first campaign ad.”

You can follow him on Twitter by clicking here. Use the hashtag #votekishi to spread the word.

The Facebook page is here.

Click here to download a printable sign.

I have to admit that I kept refreshing my browser (all the good sites were blocked) during the iPadapalooza whereas I wasn’t as glued to the State of the Union. I think that may be because we all have a general sense of the state of the union versus anything from Steve Jobs always promises to be a turtlenecked spectacle.

I still think that Obama should have presented a keynote using the tablet and then ended with, “Oh? What’s this, you ask? Why it does…” and then list off the tech specs. I also think that, of the stuff the iPad has, it was a big oversight to leave off a microSD slot. Of course they want you to spend more money on the bigger hard drives, but that instant expandability needs to be built into most devices these days.

If you remember a post from a while back, we looked at how being President of the United States was proof that stress causes gray hairs. Expect to see Obama’s hair get even grayer in the coming years.

That would be the easiest bloggh post this month, but I won’t stop there.

(If you haven’t read about the build, make sure you click here first.)

Thank you, Dogwhisperer G, for watching Indiana. You’re a mercenary to the last, you old scoundrel. You’ll be paid in due time.

We just got word from the other build team that went down with us. The INS made one of the vans get out of the rental van and walk across the border as pedestrians.

What, to prove that Americans can be physically fit?

This was on Sunday, the final day of the build, when your arms are tired from slinging stucco and/or drywall. I’d be annoyed. Keep in mind that this happened at the U.S. side of the Giant Fence (where we are citizens).

While down in Juarez my mind slipped back into my college minor. I used to (I guess I still am) be trained to also be a Spanish teacher. I keep that pretty secret (good thing I didn’t post that fact on the Interwebs for all to see).

My wife and I feel like we need to practice our Spanish more. But we’re not going to re-visit my college textbooks for Spanish acquisition.

We could care less where the nearest ferrocarril tracks are or how to get the camarero’s attention for more gazpacho. I’m also pretty sure we won’t be visiting any discotecas in Juarez anytime soon, so we can skip that chapter.

Each week, though, I’m going to put up some sentences under the Casas category. I promise that the bloggh won’t be overrun by the subjunctive (no more than usual, I hope (that was a grammar joke, by the way)) but I post it for my own benefit; feel free to join in the fun.

This week’s phrases (with rough equivalent translations):

My goal is to use these sentences this week.

I realized that I have quite a bit of information here that may be intimidating to go back and read. (You know, if you’re a chronomentrophobic and can’t stand my archives calendar/any timekeeping device. I have to be sensitive to those readers.)

I messaged this guy, this guy who said he was the president of the galaxy. He promised that this girl he knew had a heart of gold and to call her flat at 2079460347. Long story short, I now have an Infinite Improbability Drive installed on the bloggh. Check the sidebar, but whatever you do, don’t click it.

I don’t want anyone turning into sofas.

“Space,” it says, “is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly hugely mindbogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist, but that’s just peanuts to space…

Arthur looked up. “Ford!” he said, “there’s an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they’ve worked out.”

“Five to one against and falling…” she said, “four to one against and falling…three to one…two…one…probability factor of one to one…we have normality, I repeat we have normality.” She turned her microphone off – then turned it back on, with a slight smile and continued: “Anything you still can’t cope with is therefore your own problem.”

He reached out and pressed an invitingly large red button on a nearby panel. The panel lit up with the words “Please do not press this button again.”

I must confess to you now that I fell into propaganda. I was emphatic about buying a truck because I saw an ad that it was Truck Month. If it’s only for one month, those deals will run out!

Then my high Wisdom modifier wife made a lasting comment: “It’s always Truck Month.” Over recent years I have noticed this same thing: every month is Truck Month.

So, like in good bloggh tradition, I’ve decided to keep track of the Truck Months. It’s like a paper chain counting towards Christmas, but instead of Christmas, it’s over-hyped vehicles. And instead of paper, it’s words on a screen. But other than that, it’s the exact same.

For the first one, the October one, Ford warns that it is the Final Days. [insert multi-horned goat/2012 joke here]

On the topic of Abominations of Desolation, have you seen the new Range Rover Sports? They definitely know that the era of the gas-guzzling SUV is waning, and I might be wrong, but I think they’re taking style tips from a mix between the Scion xB and a RAV4.

I wonder what the difference is between the $17,000 xB and the $60,000 Range Rover Sport. $43,000 floor mats?

Unrelated news: the word count is at 7,000+ as of last night/this morning. Also, Mike, you could be a mayor who patrols like Batman/the mayor of Newark. When Hulu puts up Conan’s interview with him, I’ll try and link to it. (The reason I heard about the Flagstaff mayor was because she broke up a drug deal right outside of one of her meeting rooms. She was on the news saying something to the effect of, “Not on my watch!”)

Have you seen Auto-tune the News?

1. Stop ice-cream drips – Put one in the bottom of the cone. It doesn’t stop the top mess, but at least that you can see coming. It’s the bottom of the cone shenanigans that get me.
2. Keep wax off birthday cakes – Put the candle in there. If the wax melts, you can discard the marshmallow. And it’s festive! (Festive? Like for Marshmallow Day or something?)(Dang! I guess there is a Marshmallow Day! August 30!! We missed it. Maybe we can catch the two day celebration of Día de Melcochas)
3. Keep brown sugar soft – Throw a marshmallow in to dish out the moisture
4. Separate toes when applying polish – I’ll have to take their word for it.
5. Impromptu cupcake frosting – Add a marshmallow a minute before taking the cupcake out of the oven.

Did you know that toads shed their skin? Picture me looking in on an aquarium and wondering what in the two moons of Mars was going on with the toad’s melted-looking foot and the stringy stuff caught in its mouth.

Amphibians are much more resourceful than reptiles – they eat their shed skin.

Blech.

I wonder what life would be like without frantic Google searches like this one.

The toad now has a log, some pond rocks, and way too many crickets.

Crickets being cannibals. The many wonders of a junior high library.

I have a prediction about District 9. Check back after the cat.

This is not a cat. This is a hot dog octopus from today’s lunch.

This is the cat.

Having seen only one trailer for District 9, I predict that there will be two factions of the alien establishment. The one will set up the other with a bioagent that turns humans into robots/slaves to make the human government give into their hatred. By the time we realize that we all share common desires, too much bloodshed will have transpired for true comaraderie to occur.

It doesn’t mean I’m no less intrigued to go see it. Not pumped, just intrigued.

Yes, I do understand that with such an un-American statement I’ve now been added to the NSA’s watchlist for possible insurgency, but I’m pretty sure my research for my novel has already tipped off the ATF to my bings.

Wow. Never before had I considered working at the NSA, but their website looks very friendly. Wait a minute. Even Sudoku bugs me. Nevermind. But now that I’ve linked to their site, the NSA is now bugging me. [rimshot]

The thing with fireworks is that you have to wait around in the heat for a very long time for only 15 minutes worth of entertainment. In many ways it has a Disneyland thing going on, but without all of the clacking animatronics and Hungry Bear burgers.

So, if you are like me and detest axilla overload of the apocrine glands, here are some tips to avoid thinking about what kind of sweaty beast you have become.

1. Play the Patriot Name Game – Start with the name of someone from U.S. History. The next person in your group has to name another famous American, but the first name has to start with the beginning letter of the previous person’s last name. Example:
   

   Aaron Burr
   Benjamin Franklin
   Franklin Delano Roosevelt

2. Patriotize your phone – Download a free, open source work and transfer it to your phone. Consider reading Common Sense by Thomas Paine. It’s a pamphlet he wrote that helped fuel the U.S. revolution. His famous words (“Taxation? Not cool!! Let’s hang out.“) have been passed down through generations.
3. See how much of the Revolutionary War you can re-enact from memory – You can use this as a starting point:
   
   Language advisory: Dad watch it, Mom don’t.
4. Re-enact dialogue from the movie Independence Day – I fear that this is a more realistic expectation.
5. Filibuster
6. Plan an exit strategy in case fire falls from the sky.
7. Think about what this celebration would look like in the future – in space?
8. Pray for people who don’t have freedom like you do – but don’t feel guilty for the freedom you have. Use that freedom! Get creative.
9. Play E Pluribus Unum – Here are the steps:
   Hand jive twice.
   
   Throw.
   When you throw, check to see who wins.
   
   George Washington beats Abraham Lincoln by coming first.
   
   Abraham Lincoln’s respectable reputation beats Richard Nixon.
   
   Richard Nixon beats George Washington by being an icon for a jaded generation.
   One historical variant is that Arthur Fonzarelli trumps all.
   
   Fonzie’s been cloned!
   You can also throw Spock into the mix for some added enjoyment.
   Kids in other countries play jan-ken-pon.

   Elephant crushes human, human crushes ant, and ant kills elephant by entering its trunk.

   Check out the Ultimate Chart as a reference:
   

No matter how you celebrate, whether seeing fireworks live or via PBS:

Happy Independence Day!

(Why do fireworks have to start so much later than bedtime?)

Forward this to ten of your friends and your crush will join you in the ethereal algorithm.

Give him a break. This guy helped bring you Oregon Trail by providing cheap Apples to your elementary labs.

Weird dream last night (not involving Wozniak):
It was a commercial. The song “Shout to the Lord” was playing but on the screen was a Madden game with a Green Bay Packer on the cover morphing over the years, uniforms from the 60s to modern day. The voice-over then said, “Let your daughters know that you’ll always love them. EA Sports. It’s in the game.”

I feel like this guy:

Let’s see what tonight brings.

The Study: Does pizza tell us about personality?

If the dad is a percussionist:

If the dad is a guitarist:

We appreciated R and J watching our kids last night so we could go to Texas Roadhouse and then Chili’s. (Roadhouse being an hour and forty minutes wait time.)

I’ve determined that:

Valentine’s Day : Restaurant :: Christmas : Retail Store

We had a great time, but our server did not. She spilled water on me twice. I only spilled water on myself once.

Dollhouse was definitely different than Firefly, but we still enjoyed it. I wonder what more Evil Wash has to offer.

Ah, Master Predictor! Now I know where I’ve seen this guy before. Harry Lennix was the commander guy in Matrix Revolutions as well as the Muslim guy in the prison camp in 24. (Really, who hasn’t played a person stuck in a prison camp in 24?)(I’ll tell you who…Justin Guarini, and we’re all okay with that.)

So the big news is that some Peter character is leaving to work for Microsoft. Erin wins Best Present 2009:

Oh, the places you’ll go…someone’s probably already been there.

It’s better than some of the gifts you get:

Yeah, the live kind. Not calamari.
My niece followed appropriate grieving procedure.

Some strange signs have been appearing throughout town:


The citizenry is in upheaval.

Slade, this one’s for you:

A tie-dye-wearing tiger going fishing – right up your alley

I can’t believe I have a Wii Points card. How will I decide?

Correction. My wife has the Wii Points card.
I trust my wife. I really do.

What, are you Highlanders?

We’re taking things easy. (This is earth-shaking for my family.)

Instead of being annoyed at cranky dad and cranky kids, my kids are going to sleep in their own beds at their regular bed times. We’re swinging by my in-laws to see family from Montana and that’s about it. If you’re not doing this, that’s okay. This is an experiment for me. I shall take you along on this experiment.

I present to you some options:

1. Howard the Duck – I say this at the beginning as a back up if all others fail. I mean, it’s a movie executive produced by George Lucas starring Lea Thompson (of Back to the Future) and Tim Robbins (of Shawshank Redemption). How bad could it be?
2. Check out the streaming video from EarthCam. Times Square, brought to your computer. You can also choose from 13 different still cams (as well as updating pictures from around the U.S. and parts of the world), and not once do you have to watch Brittney Spears, the Jonas Brothers, Ryan Seacrest or Fallout Boy if you don’t want to. Do they have a Dick Clark camera? Even though his robotic joints are being modded this week, I still want to make sure he’s okay.
3. If you’re like me and lived life instead of watching TV, now you can catch up on 24: Redemption.
4. Have you met the new ball?
   
   Should be pretty. You can also check the schedule of events to pretend like you’re in Times Square and see what the networks don’t think you want to see.

Compare it to EarthCam’s coverage.

Proof that we love our sister-in-law as we plan for her wedding reception:

You should have seen the neighbors’ reactions when the back of the Scion opened up. All stereotypes perplexingly thrown out the window.
But to repeat, for the sanity of grandparents, this is for the sister-in-law’s wedding reception and in no way related to New Year’s.

I did have to document the most amount of alcohol I’ve ever possessed. Substitute this for Vanilla Mocha Rockstar and a box of Hot Pockets and then we must question my temperance.

Mortar and Pestle for the win!

Argh! The senile Tortimer would only give me one party popper. My wife just got seven.

I didn’t vote for you, shell-for-brains.

Updates as they show up through the day/night/day.

It was a dark and stormy night for Miles Standoffish. He had been hired to protect a rag-tag bunch of peasants running from an evil empire who had a strict anti-headbelt policy. Tonight under the eaves of a maize hut, Standoffish considered his lot in life.

In the distance he heard a predatory cry pierce the New England forest.

Continue the story in the comments. Pass the story along.

They come out of the head end room to tell me that the hard drive of the clock computer is fried. The clock computer that was working five minutes before they showed up?

We have no official clock right. What we do have, though, is an unofficial clock.

Many times the secretaries will receive complaints if the slightest thing is wrong with the clock. You can imagine the phone calls when a clock is missing from instruction for an entire day.

Here’s how the daffy librarian made a temporary fix: (Peter and Slade, prepare the facepalm.)

In a step-by-step list, for all of those times a school is depending upon you to free them from looking at their wrists:

1. Find an old iBook
2. Connect it to Wi-Fi (and all of the fun stuff that comes with that)
3. Try a screensaver with the clock and realize it’s too small for a TV from across the room
4. Go to Google, like the double-standard librarian that you are
5. Find a Google gadget, preferably a simple one (and not the Bush or Twilight countdown ones)
6. Hook a component cable from the closed circuit system into the iBook
7. Turn off all screensavers
8. Zoom in on the iGoogle home page
9. Press Apple + Shift + 4 to get ready to take a screen shot (and move the mouse out of the way while zoomed in)
10. Dim the monitor but not the output
11. Laugh at the fact that your school clock now says “Simple Clock” and has screen coordinates in the top left corner of the TV
12. Build a hang glider out of chewing gum foil and an almanac

Muahaha. Your democracy has been set back five minutes.

And I think this may be the longest article title/URL. Come back for updates throughout the day, much like what I had first envisioned as The Longest Day.

6:08am – Watch as I nitpick Yahoo. “All that’s left is to vote, even for Obama.” That’s an ‘open to interpretation’ way to say it. Is there anyone you’re leaning towards, Yahoo? Hmmm?

6:13am – Uh oh. Make sure you scan that correctly. We don’t want a chad incident.

6:17am – They’ve now overflowed to the tables. No talking during the test!

6:57am – Make a Spot check.
As stealthy as a 6’9″ guy can be… (Although wasn’t there an example in one of the rulebooks for a Wookiee tracking a katarn in the rain? Devin, what’s the DC on that?)
I thought you might enjoy the most recent part of The Ruing:

Wooha!
- Wedge taking out the AT-AT with a tow cable

It should be noted that “Into the Trap” was playing in the Scion as I drove up today. Yes, it’s Return of the Jedi and not Empire Strikes Back, but it’s still an awesome squad theme song.

Brown Squadron, you have been given the go ahead. You are weapons free.

8:38am – Sunshine on my shoulder makes me happy.
Actually, just warm.

8:50am – I shall drown my sorrows in RockStar Juiced.

8:52am – J was there at 4:45am at his site. Yeah, contact with the outside world!

8:54am – Review of Juiced: Good for drowning, not necessarily drowning sorrows. I can taste the mango skin. It’s…unnerving.

Not a vanilla mocha.

8:59am – For my wife:

Snaps is the name of the game, the name of the game is snaps.
Can you please
recommend a
*Snap*
physician?

11:15am – Back from voting:

I have my reasons.

12:02pm – Castro praises one of the candidates. Wow. It’s one of those “please don’t help” moments.

1:32pm – Found out from Peter about the Secretary of the Interwebs. (Yeah! Cory Doctorow in a hot air balloon versus Tron Paul!)

3:27pm -

Cooper Black? Times New Roman?

Ouch. I just sprained my sense of design.

3:57pm – There’s a guy here taking a picture of his votes with his cell phone. What a weirdo.

Unless…

Does he have a rival website, also full of Order 66 and El Pollo Loco? I should ask rather than assume.

4:03pm – I got distracted instead by fonts with a live preview.

4:26pm – Why to avoid exit polls and why CNN vowed to not use them after the 2000 election - did they hold to it? Did you know that in France it’s illegal to conduct a poll within 48 hours of an election? It’s also city ordinance for Parisians to have a permit before using a tripod to film. Madness.

4:40pm – Make your own mini Sheriff Megatron. Fun for the whole family at the cost of one sheet of cardstock.

Click on the picture to hugeify it.

5:09pm – I don’t think we should call it just yet.

vs.

I’ve never actually been to Maine, but I could have sworn they had more people than that.

5:41pm – Political Analyst John Elway

5:42pm – Just got called “dude” by one of the workers.

Cringe.

5:44pm – Why is ‘John Elway’ in single quotes? Is it a quote inside the dialogue by Yahoo? Did Tolkien write the Flash dashboard?

5:46pm – Bwaha. Tatyana Ali? Little Ashley Banks?

6:16pm – Considering running on the Monster Raving Loony Party ticket. Do we have a U.S. branch? I guess we do. (Hosted on Tripod. Tres officiale.)

6:30pm – Town Crier just did his “Polls close in 30 minutes” yell.

7:58pm – They have finally packed up. And they still didn’t lean my name. Much shivering, much creeped out. Everyone must leave. Go home.

9:43pm – It’s funny that there’s still ads for McCain/Palin surveys saying “Can they win?” on Yahoo. There’s always the time machine option. I wonder what my grandpa would have thought. Also, I find it dreadfully ironic that the maps aren’t even all colored in yet. (Our state being one of them.) Did all of the hurtful words add up to much? Now to support our new president and be done with political ads for a little bit! Wooha! (Although be prepared for a “Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos.” from time to time.)

I always noticed this up at NAU. The German students had a thing for mocking our presidents with masks. I guess it’s the next generation:

My oldest is a comedian. She kept switching the words around, cracking herself up. Keep in mind that I didn’t read any of it to her:


My youngest has a more “Theatre of the Absurd” sense of humor:

On Friday teenage girls across the nation (and their easy to manipulate boyfriends) will be attending the opening of High School Musical 3: Senior Year. This phenomenon has embodied HSM, HSM2, HSM3, HSM: The Concert Tour, High School Musical: The Disneyland/World Stage Show and HSM: Stage Musical…ALL IN LESS THAN TWO YEARS! I have to admit, I am waiting for HSM: The Flame Thrower and other marketing merchandise. To give you an idea of the magnitude of this feat, it took JK Rowling almost 12 years to write all 7 of her Harry Potter books. Disney has matched that is one sixth of the time. Amazing! For every Harry Potter book you’re getting almost 7 versions of HSM. Because HSM1 was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good.

I am not against Disney making movies. I am not against the idea of a movie about high school musicals (I’m a Theatre teacher who directs musicals…I like musicals). But I am against Disney milking something until it’s dead. Within two months of the release of HSM1, Disney released the rights for high schools around the world to produce their own staged version of HSM. In fact, there were advertisements telling students to ask their high school drama teachers to produce the show. To the average Joe Six-Pack this was not a big deal. But it impacted my world. For the rest of the year I had to hear <whiny teenage girl voice>”Let’s do HSM! PLEASE, LET’S DO HSM!” </whiny teenage girl voice>. I even had a 70 year old woman (substitute teacher) decide to usurp my lesson plans and show HSM. Yeah, working on that study guide for their midterm exam wasn’t as important as the elderly’s love for Zac and Vanessa. But I digress…

I used to work for Disney and I know how they work. They say it’s “not about making money, but giving a high caliber product to their family audience.” (That was taken from my 1st training session as a “cast member”). But milking the same story into 7 different versions doesn’t just extend an overused subject, it completely destroys the magic of the first film. Case in point, HSM won several awards in 2006. Nothing has been won since. In fact, Disney was so desperate to continue the franchise after HSM that it completely ignored its stance on its performers maintaining a wholesome image and allowed Vanessa Hudgens to keep her role despite very racy (AKA naked) photos of herself being released on the internet and later stated that they were intended for her fellow cast mate boyfriend Zac Efron. But who needs standards?

HSM is not “the great American Musical.” I know that. But when there are so many great works of film and television, it seems like a direct slap in the face to the consumer when Disney milks these franchises for all they are worth. I am still waiting for a similar parody by South Park that will mirror what they did to Spielberg and Lucas for what they did to Indiana Jones.

Btw, didn’t Sharpay (Ashley Tisdale’s character) have a “break a leg” moment at the end of HSM1? Why was she still trying to breakup Gabriella (Vanessa) and Troy (Zac) in HSM2? Disney had told me and other audience members that people apparently don’t learn from their mistakes. How pessemistic. I’m sure Sharpay will figure it all out in HSM3.

Also, the TV, film and stage franchises of HSM are just the tip of the iceberg. Checkout the DVDs, the Ice Tour, Book series, and 5 video games. Thankfully, HSM: the Reality Series (Get in the Picture)failed after one season (11 episodes). God is still looking out for us.

But to copy an entire article? Not cool.

So, here’s the experiment. I looked up lorrd.com to see who owns it:

Ehsan Ahmad Rehan
G8 Model Town
Lahore
Punjab
042
PK

I removed his e-mail and phone number to give him another chance to correct the situation. I have e-mailed him.

I also commented on one of the sites:

Now comes the experiment: will lorrd.com automatically rip this article and put it on theirs? I’m curious.

Something that we can all get behind: anagrams. (Not to be confused with palindromes/Palin Drones.)

Who should we as a collection of nerds vote for? Let’s look at the names:

McCain/Palin

1. La Man Picnic

– Serving up La Food

2. Mac Can Nil Pi

– It could be that McCain’s not good at Math, but I’m guessing it’s Apple becoming bigger than pi itself…Mmmm…Apple Pi…

3. Am Clinic Nap

– Is that a comment about his age?

4. Calm In Panic

– Either he’s got strong military training or refer back to his clinic nap

Obama/Biden

1. Babied Moan

– To be fair, a knock on his age, as well.

2. Babe Domain

– Insert your own Clinton/JFK/FDR/Buchanan joke here.

3. Me Bob Naiad

– Me Jill Centaur. Want dance?

4. A Daemon Bib

– For Chef Ramsay’s show, right?

5. A Badmen Bio

– All of the playground politics of Hussein/Osama references finally catch up.

6. Amoeba Bind

– Possible healthcare reform. Also could be a promise of death by interstellar goo.

Okay, so this election is still crazy. But political commentators, know this: I reject your reality and substitute my own.

On the topic of nerds aging: Do you remember PC games where you had to flip to parts of the manual for different words? I think Mechwarrior had a crazy wheel like Penny Arcade mentions.

Marvel vs. DC
To get the biases out of the way – Batman is my favorite superhero, but once you start talking rich universes I’m more of a Marvel guy. Exception: Flash is cooler than Quicksilver, although Quicksilver has a cooler lineage.

But what about the fruit snacks?

It should be noted that Marvel first produced the Transformers comic books.
To start, let’s go supervillains:

Joker (left) vs. Green Goblin (right)
Both are fans of purple and green. Both are insane. Both are globs of modified corn starch and fruit juice concentrate. Maybe not a good place to start. It looks like they weren’t even trying.

The “white flavored” snacks are arranged in order of coolness. The insignia from the movies/batarang. Woot.

Next, a spiderweb. I’m diggin’ it, but it could be left over from Dora the Explorer Halloween Snacks. (We never had them (I loathe the undead), although the Dora Saves the Mermaids ones are tasty.)

But what’s up with the Third Reich covered truck bed Transformer? It’s like the Scion-wannabe Chevy Groove or whatever that ugly spawn of a Sith-corrupted PT Cruiser is that’s driving around. Nissan, just don’t.

Let’s look at the “blue flavored” snacks. Venom is really cool, but his tongue-lash does not an appetite make. Optimus is great, but his faceplate and pronged sideburns don’t stand out.

The Batman bust sticks out. The snack is deeper than it is wide, so you have to flip it to see the picture straight on. I like it.

Yellow. Mangled Bumblebee face or clear insignia? Insignia.

Evidence that the Batman fruit snacks are cooler than the Spider-man and Transformers ones combined. (Photographic play on words in memory of Brenda.)

In conclusion, DC (in this instance) beats Marvel and Libya remains a land of many contrasts.

My daughter was kindof shocked by the sacrifice required by science of her fruit snacks:

In an unrelated story, my wife went with my sister-in-law to go see Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 during lunchtime…

For my loving family (and Internet stalkers) I have my non-district blocked Twitter-ish system.

5:35am – roll up with stereo thumping in the Scion, old people waiting outside my door.
6:05am – get all the books checked in and queued up for re-shelving
6:10am – check e-mail
6:22am – finish e-mail
6:23am – realize it’s going to be a long day…I should have brought a book
7:04am – Jeremy called – he’s sitting at the church, keeping it open for polls – let’s rock it for America! Woo!
7:55am – breakfast burrito and a strawberry milk (you want to be me) and a conversation with the principal about Call of Duty 4 – hoping that my assistant stops singing the score from Mama Mia
8:18am – election workers started up a game of Balderdash – the irony is not lost on me
8:37am – sad realization that less than 10 voters have shown up so far – do people care about local government?
8:51am – sitting down to Betrayal on Orbis 2 and a Rockstar Vanilla Roasted Light
8:55am – elections supervisor came in: “Oh, no one uses the library anymore. No wonder they let you use it.” – I had to interject – and restrain my Force Grip – I kicked a class out for you, buddy – follow me on a normal day
9:04am – read character creation rules e-mail from Sean and the Ewok section of the rulebook to calm down Librarian Rage
9:14am – the chosen one in the book is referred to as The Scion – heh heh
9:17am – D’oh! Just read the warning on the Rockstar – “This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.” Well, dang! Why am I drinking this espresso and milk if not to cure my Krytos fever?
10:09am – encouraging picture from the other polling place – if they have more voters show up it will be through sheer cuteness alone

12:02pm – visited by beautiful family bearing McDonald’s – I am, indeed, loving it
12:49pm – disputed election worker’s claims that presidents only get retirement until 80 (so you should vote for McCain, who would draw no retirement from taxpayer dollars if serving two terms) – according to the Former Presidents Act, established in 1958, presidents receive a lifetime pension based on the current rate of an executive officer during their presidency – that pension is currently $191,300 – Barack would still theoretically cost more if you went solely off of lifetime pension, but it’s tough to predict the lifetime of a president
And that, my friends, is why you have a librarian – Boom, baby!
3:42pm – received threatening e-mail


5:40pm – visited by Jeremy and Company
6:25pm – found proper Wookiee prefix and suffix name appendix for my new character (by the end of the night I will have every bloggh category used)
6:33pm – realizing how long of a day it is that I can be this excited about some clan’s Wookiee name guide
7:59pm – only 2 Rockstars and coming down hard – I am a leaf in the wind…I am a leaf in the wind
8:35pm – When Boo-yor was in Li-Brar-Yyyyy….Let my Fiction gooooo

8:38pm – Could it be? Is it true? Will the librarian leave after only 15 hours in the library? Quick, while no one’s looking!
9:25pm – HOME

Do you use the yellow page books? If so, how often would you say you refer to them? Once a week, once a month, once every six month?

If you do reach for a yellow page book, which one do you reach for first?
- Dex
- Verizon
- Yellow Pages/PDC
- Yellow Book

If you have more than one, do you reach for the more general Phoenix book, or the more local one (i.e., East Valley )?

How about this: hook up the videocamera that your library already has to a TV. Instead of switching the camera to VCR, take out the videotape and switch the videocamera to the record mode. (Taking out the tape should prevent the camera from going into sleep mode/standby.)

For extra snazziness: attach the camera to a tripod, hook the camera up to an LCD projector.

First off, getting Wii Fit takes some effort and some teamwork. Our credits include:

1. Danjo, for being an expert in all things Red Circle and keeping me text-company at 5:15 in the morning, and clueing us in to the weekly ad in the first place
2. giPIG for watching the kids during the changing of the guard
3. J for setting up my bass, especially since I was 10 minutes late to worship team
4. and most importantly, My Beautiful Wife for tag teaming the line, being excited for the game, and being supportive in the face of wild rantings and general obsessive behavior

How to get a Wii Fit
If you don’t have a Colleen or you don’t have a pregnant wife (remember my first list of research?), the way that we found success was showing up early on a Sunday morning. Watch the weekly ads for Target (ignore Buy n Large …er, Wal-Mart…). Every store must have at least one if it is in the ad. So…Show up early. Ours open at 8 am. I figure if I’m going to be inconvenienced, and its worth doing, go all out. Nothing compares to the time spent in line at Episode II. You call me crazy.
Have you been to Disneyland?
Sometime that morning a Target associate will come out and hand out tickets to the people in line. This avoids the rushing and elbowing and soccer-momming to the electronics department.
I made myself very visible on security cameras so people would know I had been there. But I had to tag out with my wife taking my place since I had to get to worship team.
I guess too visible. As my wife was buying WiiFit, the associates were saying, “There was this big, hairy guy pacing around real early this morning.”

When you first boot up Wii Fit, you may have to do a system update. You’ll also have to synchronize the board. Run the game disc and it will walk you through the process.
My Goals
I know that not everyone is interested in my fitness, so I promise to include other interesting stuff alongside the stats. This is kind of an experiment for me.
You do a body test before you play anything. You also create a user profile complete with height. Yes, it does go to 6’9″ if any other readers are of a superior height. The weight max is 330lbs., so sorry Big Cactus, Fezzik, and Optimus Prime.
Alongside calculating your weight and BMI, it also tests your balance:

This is where my goals come in. I would like to blame it all on my torn right foot fascist ligament, but because of my general lack of balance (I did mention 6’9″, right?) I tore my ligament. So improving my balance is my goal. This looks like a decent route.

The Stats for 7/20/08
Height: 6’9″ (2,057.4 mm)
Wii Fit Age: 43 (as a reference, I am not 43)
Weight: 267 lbs (0.12 metric tons)
BMI: 28.56
Enthusiasm: 5 out of 5 Miyamotos

Balance: Leaning heavily to the right. I will put percentages up starting tomorrow.

Saturday night I was talking on the phone with my dad after dark. (The way I knew it was late was because the fire station did its nightly 9pm emergency klaxon test. You know, like an air raid?) While talking on my cell walking down the street, I heard three house doors open, pause, slam, click lock. That I could get used to. I just walked in the middle of the street and talked quieter.

The more disturbing part were the backlit silhouettes in the windows. Staring. As my dad says, I was Saturday night cable. I hope the town warms up to the 6’9″, Scion xB-driving (should I mention the MacBook?) city boy before the July 3 boot scoot. Yeah. Wasn’t that the plotline to Footloose?

I have some very funny stories (especially for those following my Twitter feed in the “From the Field” sidebar), but I also have some crazy stories. Everyone knows everyone’s business.

Literally, business.

Everyone knows who’s making what and where it goes. I mean, the car dealership has everyone come out and shake your hand when you buy a car. “I’ll be working on your brakes.” “I do mufflers.”

But there’s some downsides to knowing more info than in a big city.

Gas Prices

Town Pump
7985 Highway 200 E
Missoula, MT 59801
$4.05/ gallon regular unleaded

Town Pump
Highway 93 S
Polson, MT 59860
$3.98/ gallon regular unleaded

as of June 30, 2008

Here’s the complaint: people know the truckers. They know that the fuel trucks go to Missoula first and then Polson. Polson has more shipping tax/trucking expenditures and yet is cheaper. The Missoula people traditionally charge more than Polson, sometimes from 10 to 15 cents more.

This doesn’t sit well with Small Town, U.S.A. We also have a major oil refinery and coker here (cokers turn left-overs from the refinery process into usable stuff like asphalt. Yep. Makes you want to reach for that Diet Coke, right?). Townspeople know that the price of oil for Montana and all of its exporting areas was bid and locked in months, sometimes years, ago. Gas prices are a very sore subject here because they know the people trying to rip them off at the gas pump.

But the most fun I’ve had so far with small town dynamics is the “Don Quixote Project”.

Being a refinery/coker town, Laurel is also a train town. (Laurel High Locomotives. Get it?) Trains go non-stop, 24/7. Each time they pass a crossing, they must sound their horn. Makes sense. But the funny/annoying thing is that you can hear the signal from the next town, your town, and the town coming up. Horns blow all the time, especially at night “when no one notices”. (Unless you have an infant.)

But the issue is that the townspeople of Laurel are being trained to ignore the trains. (My youngest daughter adjusted by the second night and slept right through them.) In a town that has had only 3 train-related accidents in the past 30 years (2 involving people getting hit by the 5th/6th cars of a train by trying to go around the crossing arms (don’t ask) and 1 where the guy was drunk), people are starting to get a little too cozy with the crossings.

The town has adopted the Don Quixote Project (called that at city hall) and they are trying to take on Big Rail. (The guy at Hardee’s had a “S. Whiplash” nametag, but now that you mention it, his moustache did look familiar.)

The funnier/scarier part is early in the morning the trains will stop on the tracks so the engineers can get out to get breakfast.

The town is surrounded by tracks. The morning trains trap the town. In order to get from the south side of town to the north, you have to go to the neighboring town, loop around, and come back to Laurel on a different route. The volunteer fire/EMT department beats the state average in response time by 6 minutes.

Unless they have to go to the other town first.

Surprisingly, more than a few babies have been delivered in parking lots.

You gotta love small towns

with all its quirks.

Much thanks to Jeremy for getting me excited about Wii Sports again. I forgot how cool golf is and I always love when both people get knocked out in boxing.

Day 2 of new contacts – Took me :38 seconds to put them in this morning. Running fast.

And what of spy satellites?

I’m trying out an upgrade of my current type of contacts, but then my eye doctor asked me to compare them to a new type of nighttime tinting contact.

Day 1. I can see.

I need to figure out some way to objectively measure contact performance. (Really, I need more science to my mad.)

“Viennese Waltz. I don’t know much about the Viennese, but I hear they’re good people.”
- Twitch, from So You Think You Can Dance

My daughter wanted a tea party for her birthday. A princess tea party. When asked if her cousin could come, she said, “Yes, but he has to be a ninja.”

I am very proud.

My nephew and I were ninjas who also know how to enjoy a good spot of tea. My daughter was a great host and made sure that all of her friends had a good time. My wife deserves a lot of credit for the time, effort, and thoughts that went into the party.

Here’s an example of my wife’s cooking excellence:

Yes, AND she’s hot.
Here’s the recipe (since, yes, the butterflies are homemade):

1. Have a wing pattern on white paper.
2. Put wax paper over it.
3. Fill one bag with chocolate and one Ziploc bag with strawberry meltable candy.
4. Draw with the chocolate bag (snip a hole) on the wax paper tracing the pattern.
5. Fill in with pink.
6. Pound the counter for a swirl. (Yeah.)
7. When it dries, put two M&Ms on the cupcake. Support the wings on them.
8. Fill in the body with chocolate frosting.
9. The antennae are dried drawn chocolate, as well.

Here are more realm recipes.

We played pin the crown on the princess. I was pretty proud of the princess picture I drew next to the beautiful original.

She even got a haircut for the party.

The best gift came from her aunts who dressed up like princesses. My daughter, to her credit, kept in character and called them Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.

Aurora’s friend was DYING to use her new spindle, and Cinderella constructed hers from pieces found by Goodwill and mice.



It’s tough being a ninja.

So, what do you do after a party and you’ve got homemade dresses?
Go to the mall (kinda like ‘ball’, right?)! San Tan Village is outdoors and has a truly jovial security staff.
Here’s an experiment where my sisters-in-law test people’s comfort levels by asking where the glass slipper is to passers-by.

My favorite line?
“I don’t know. I just got here.”
Like that guy at the outdoor food court MAY have had the time to see a glass slipper and a carriage, but he was underprepared.

The types of people encountered fall into three categories:

1. Ones who don’t get it and refer the princesses to the manager or guest services.
2. Ones who get into character and have their kids interact with the princesses.
3. Scary guys sitting by themselves on benches.

But they all point in a direction.

The princesses did a great job of being constantly in character and Adam, I hope you enjoyed your lunch, because this footage is totally worth the price of your meal. Thank you!

If you want, here is the video:

You definitely have to stay tuned in until the crowd at the Disney store. What will they do, put Cinderella in cuffs in front of all of the little kids?

What went from joke to reality was made possible by family. And sugar.

Jeremy, I would put up the full versions of the videos, but they’re not web friendly in size. Wi-Fi party?

The security guard was truly jovial. (Much cooler than pygmy hippos and albino killer whales.)

The Haiku
Experiments work
when family comes to play
and find their slippers.

(I have no clue, but I have a feeling I will.)

To say that there will be an interception in the third quarter would be just Dr. Manhattan-ish.

To say that I predict an Indiana Jones trailer commercial is awesome.

Our group’s score predictions:
Dan: Patriots 27 Giants 34
Joelle: Patriots 28 Giants 24
Micah: Patriots 35 Giants 21
Fred: Patriots 37 Giants 28
Bruce: Patriots 31 Giants 21

I know that the Patriots will win, especially now that they entered to “Crazy Train”.
updated 4:15pm
6:10pm – Swirling cauldron of the cosmos that’s free falling? Mike is closest in his prediction – fumble in the 2nd and lame commercials
The end score according to Mike? 20-17 Giants win
6:35pm - With 12 men on the field and all of the Patriot’s delay of games in the first half, something says they’re pumped beyond focus
7:51pm - Eli breaking the tackle and completing the long bomb! My goodness!
7:56pm – Proud older brother. Awesome TD!
8:05pm – Umm..off the field!

The Haiku
No matter how much
you use rock and roll you will
lose to the long bomb

One of the reasons he said it was a fad was because most people played only Wii Sports and nothing else (which, is that a bad habit?) and that the true measure of a system is in how many games it offers. (Although I saw at a swap meet a system that boasted 5000 games in one cartridge that didn’t hold true to the quality test.)

I, for one, think that there needs to be more games available on the Wii. The nice thing about my PS2 is that I can find quite a bit of games. BUT what I found myself doing was buying a couple of games for $10-$20 but not saving up for an actually good game (a couple of Black and Bruised/Starsky and Hutch instead of Metal Gear Solid 3 (yes, feel free to mock my short-sightedness))

So with a giant selection of games, I’m wondering how many truly are stellar. I have a Wii, my brother has a PS3, but neither of us have an XBOX 360. Since it’s so foreign to us, and yet Yahoo! says XBOX will dominate the Wii fad, I’m wondering how many stellar games can be picked out.

Below is a collection of screenshots from popular XBOX360 FPS games, at least according to a Google search.

Try to identify which game is represented by each screenshot.
Click for a zoomed in view.

I will post the answers later. I’m wondering if it will be a battle of
Quantity

over
Quality

But what about the height? Can we figure out just how high this thing is going based on how long it stays in the air?

The average hangtime for the potato projectile was 7.74 seconds (which feels like a while when you can’t see if it’ll land on your head or not).

With an understanding that objects accelerate and decelerate at 9.8 m/s squared (Mr. Burton rocks), we figured that it would take half of the parabolic trip to decelerate from leaving the cannon and then the other half to accelerate into the ground. For the average of the hangtimes:

1. The final velocity should be 37.926 meters/second.
2. 37.926 meters/second translates to 84.82 miles/hour. (0.0236 miles/second X 60 seconds in a minute X 60 minutes in an hour.)
3. The potato is crashing into the ground at faster than I am comfortable driving on the freeway.


This man, however, is crazy.

But…How high did it go?

4. 73.39 meters. That is the equivalent to 37 Booyors/240.71 feet/80.24 yards.
5. Our highest was attempt 1 (starch remnants start friction-ifying) at 8.53 seconds. That’s 89.13 meters/292.35 feet/97.45 yards/45 Booyors.

Yeah, buddy! End zone dance on Thanksgiving!

We are using a long plumbing pipe that fits snugly around a potato, a pipe that is a little wider but shorter to hold the igniter and the fumes. The igniter to create the spark is a starter from a barbecue grill and the Special Sauce is Auto Zone aerosol brake cleaner (only a tiny spritz is needed – you want a vapor and not a liquid). We use a PVC pipe as a ramrod, a la Killer Angels. We also were using compressed air to fill up the semi-vacuum created by the burning up of our precious gases.

Here’s the Excel spreadsheet (my father-in-law rocks) that we used to prove that the cannon is awesome:
Potato Projectiles

And now for the obligatory YouTube video with loud music and explosions.

Oh yes, and Leopard rocks. I will be working on my install. Here’s a sample:

Help me, father-in-law, you’re my only hope at Excel.

The Haiku
This reminds me of
the time my residents threw
chairs off the 8th floor.

This morning there was a commercial-size air conditioning duct in the middle of the off-ramp from the 202.

Reasons School is Better than the Internet

11. Teachers much less likely to sell your personal information to Russian mobsters than random Internet site.
10. Teenage girls at school more likely to be actual teenage girls than ones on Internet.
9. Teacher much less likely to compare you to Hitler than anonymous message board poster.
8. Getting new clothes for school much more rewarding than getting new clothes for Internet.
7. Getting stuffed in locker better than getting IP blocked.
6. You don’t have to have enough gum to share with the whole Internet.
5. GPA more useful for getting a job than Slashdot karma.
4. Recess at school makes you happy, recess on the internet makes you sad.
3. Feel less guilty about not doing homework than not being up to date on forums.
2. Bomb threats to school most likely will end classes for the day. Bomb threats to Internet largely ignored.
1. Teachers not as nitpicky as commenters on Reddit or Digg.

The Haiku
School also does not
have problems with lag or with
SPAM – BUY GRADES FOR CHEAP!

A goat with six horn stands in the herd of goats at a farm in Inner Mongolia Autonomous Region August 28, 2007. The owner said the goat began to grow six horns shortly after its birth. Experts said it is fairly rare to see six-horned goats.

I’m so glad that we have experts to tell us about how rare six horns is.

Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on his heads. 

Hope the world doesn’t

end today – Peter let me

borrow Strikers charged. 

a dancing wizard can help

find a good mortgage?

For the offender in question, check it out:

I looked the other way when it was the lion with the buttons on its belly. I raised an eyebrow but didn’t protest the Roswell gray shaking it. I kinda laughed at the Hammertime silhouette. But a neon gnome smoking who knows what? And then a wizard breaking it down? Yes. Let me entrust my finances to you. Does this marketing actually work?

I guess so.

after we just got done with

a round of Madden.

“Throughout history, an authentic faith has been marked by a compassionate response towards those the world tends to forget” (Thomas 103).
“In a self-based Christianity, faith is almost entirely about how we learn to overcome our sins, grow in the spiritual disciplines, and build healthier, happier families” (Thomas 106).
“…Jesus stresses that our parties need to be the kind that will reap heavenly rewards” (Thomas 110).
“There is an increasing interest in Christian spirituality today, including the prayer life, but any growth in prayer without a corresponding concern and demonstrated compassion for the down-and-out is a sham, according to the teachings of Jesus” (Thomas 111).
“Yet in the midst of all of this, Lewis still took time out to spend many hours trying to teach a mentally retarded boy to read and write” (Thomas 113).
“The poor, diseased, and dispossessed can be as arrogant, ungrateful, bitter, and cruel as anyone else” (Thomas 116).
“If there is no evidence of social mercy in your life, if there isn’t a single poor person, prisoner, man or woman with a disability, or refugee who can stand up and testify that you have lived out and continue to live out your faith with compassionate care, then know this: Scripture, the Christian classics, and contemporary faith all stand in one accord to challenge the sub-Christian religion that you have adopted” (Thomas 120).
“Their income is limited and many of them can’t make it to church because of physical constraints, but they still need spiritual and sometimes physical care” (Thomas 121).
“…And the difference that makes helps you understand why God hates injustice so much. If you had to be there, day in and day out, and sit and watch it and hear it and smell it, you would hate it, and you would want it to stop” (Thomas 123).

Who have you personally forgotten?

Simple question, right?

“If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth” (1 John 3:17-18)

“‘It’s the thing that breaks [God's] heart. And then we have to ask, why is something that is so passionately important to God only mildly interesting to us’” (Thomas 123)?

I hope that we can

know God more through our actions

for just knowing him.

to create a lesson for

her absence Thursday.

I decided to create a “run it yourself, sub” lesson that I think is pretty cool.

I will avoid the obvious “Harriet the Spy” references. But doesn’t she look like she should play opposite Keanu Reeves?

Keanu: Tubman, look out!

Blam!

Harriet: He just bought a one-way ticket.

Thought you might appreciate what comes across our scanners daily.

Genesis Alpha (almost as exciting as the Underground Railroad) is about a young boy who was created for his stem cells. His birth was sped up at month 8 to be able to save his older brother who had cancer.

Flash forward to his teen years and now his brother is on trial for murder. Should the older brother have been saved at the expense of the victim? Crazy questions arise throughout the entire book. This is suspense in the M. Night Shyamalan sense, less Clive Barker or Darren Shan. The reader constantly has to guess who’s crazy, who’s hurting, and who’s a mix.

One of the coolest parts for me is that the killer, whoever it is, left clues inside a World of Warcraft-esque MMORPG. The main character has to investigate in game (but it’s not one of those lame, “If you die in the game, you die FOR REAL” books). What’s really cool is that violence in video games is brought up but discussed quite eloquently. Yay! (for a change)

Questions of if we are more than just our DNA show up as people freak out about the genetic similarities between the two brothers.

Unlike my in-person library reviews, I can’t give too much more detail. It would be like saying, “Bruce Willis is already dead.”

D’oh.

(We’ll see what the 7th grade class thinks about it as I’m brought in for a second round of booktalks.)

Today’s Haiku:

Sharing DNA

Can it make you a killer?

Or just a big freak?

is what she says when she hears

the bell at the end

Pretty much it’s a flurry of fists as my daughter cracks skulls and undercuts knees in Wii Boxing. She’s rather quite good. Her last match was a Tie by ref decision, but usually she hits her opponents so randomly that they flail like rag dolls.

I’m really digging Madden 08 for the Wii. My father, brother, and I dealt a handsome defeat to the Cologne Centurions. My theory, that there are more emotions involved when flailing your arms, maintains in this Wii title.

I’m not a football guy, but man! I just got done setting up my NFL Hall of Famer for the RPG part of the game. QB? Nope. WR? Nah. CB? Most definitely. 8 sacks last game. Big offense plays are no match for the thrill of a 20 yard loss for the other team.

It’s like the Twilight Zone episode “Time Enough at Last”. I’m learning how to manage my schedule to free up some enjoyment time.
I’m listening with one ear at the meeting and one eye on the laptop updating a Robert Girard sermon.

and Serenity glass cling

they would be my friends

“Like Fine Wine” billboard

to advertise gasoline

“but it tastes nasty”

Is a great parody of

all things elf and dwarf

If seen online, please be nice

to ShakesTuffBK

(Shakespeare was already taken)

this guy to come to our school -

Details to follow.

was the perfect thing because

hotel rooms give time

to discuss without

worrying about the house

or feeding the dog.

I remembered why

my wife is so cool to know

but Tucson smells bad.

(We had a great time, but everywhere we went the insides of the building smelled like the varsity basketball boys locker room…without any air conditioning or functioning plumbing.)

a show called “Dinosaur King”

I think they’re joking

Also of note is that Mike Wieringo passed away on the 13th. I loved his take on The Flash.

with stiff-arm remote flailing

I will go play now.

that even though “the little one’s

not worth the effort”

that you still return

the books on time. And Doctor

Evazan hates you.

(Here’s a snippet of the orientation video.)

Goofy graphics on Fox Sports

It makes me madden

the worst headlines in the world

“Bridge search suspended”

“Mitt sweeps the straw vote”

“Breakthrough in mine shaft drilling”

“Big Ben’s bongs silent”

in the orientation

video for school

This article about the two fossils being dated in the same period is interesting.

we call the sequel to FEAR

“No Sleep Forever”

Spike Lee will film his hero -

Target pharmacy

faculty meeting. We sang

to Macarena.

(as well as other songs…trying to buzz through the handbook quickly)

but Galaxy Zoo is still

district WebSense blocked.

I think it’s pretty funny that Penny-Arcade made a strip about male librarians.

Devin, you’ll appreciate some of my decorating:

Peter and Slade – You should be excited that lolcats are going to be in Monday’s faculty handbook meeting.

By tortoise or by bunny

when you click on send?

Office Max has free laminating Thursdays. I decided to take the whole school’s laminating project down. Little did I know you have to pick it up that night or wait a whole week. Lame.

Singing and dancing

And an encore at bedtime

Brushing teeth on stage

It brought us Swedish meatballs, Billy bookshelves and endless queues on the London North Circular on Saturday afternoons. Now Ikea is going one step further and opening the Ikea Hostel, where customers can stay overnight if they haven’t finished their shopping.

Later this month, Ikea Norway will let shoppers sleep overnight in one of its two Oslo warehouses, an operation that will last a week. “It will be like an alternative hostel,” said company spokesman Frode Ullebust.

“There will be the regular dormitory with lots of beds stacked up together. We will also have a bridal suite, with a round bed and a hanging chandelier, and the luxury suite, where customers can enjoy breakfast in bed,” he said. Family rooms will also be available for parents and children to join into the Ikea fun. None of the guests will be charged for their stay.

Mr Ullebust said that, as far as he knew, this was Ikea’s first foray into the hotel business. Every night, the 30 lucky few will be able to stack up on meatballs, Norwegian salmon and cranberry mousse, as Ikea is offering free dinner and breakfast at the usual canteen.

Whereas Brits may associate the Swedish furniture giant with screaming kids, traffic jams in the parking lot and an occassional riot when a new warehouse opens, it seems Norwegians see a trip to Ikea as the ultimate tourist attraction.

“Around 900,000 visitors come to visit Ikea during the summer holidays. It’s more than one of the biggest attractions in Norway, the Holmenskollen ski jump, gets in one year,” claimed Mr Ullebust.

“We have five Ikea stores in Norway, all situated next to the four biggest cities, which are all in the south in the country. We found that people from the north of Norway include a visit to Ikea as part of their holidays,” said the spokesman. “The Ikea Hostel will make the destination complete.”

Overnight stayers can check in to their new abodes from 10pm, an hour before closing time, but will have to be quick in the morning. “The shop opens at 10am so if they are lazy, people might get woken up by shoppers testing out their mattresses,” said Mr Ullebust.

Customers will also be able to take their bedsheets home afterwards. “It’s a nice souvenir,” he added, “We will also give them bathrobes with the Ikea Hostel logo on, and some slippers, so they won’t get cold at night.”

Many twisting aisles

That never allow you to

Escape the meatballs.

my heart jumped at the chirping

cricket cockroaches

As I went through the supplies, the Indy theme went through my head.

Here is a comic

Set to the wonderful tune

sung by a great choir.

—-

It’s actually a video comic book that I made of Spider-Pig

posting this link to the site

but I laugh out loud.

Toss a Stickman down the stairs. Yep.

(Editor’s Note: Mitt Romney can fit into the syllable scheme, too.)

I am now a librarian. (Not imaginary, for real this time.) I am so stoked. I read the books, I teach the kids about the books, I buy the books, and a whole bunch of other stuff. With scanning wand in hand and a purchase order for Deathly Hallows and Ranger’s Apprentice, it was magical.

on our door wanting to buy

the Reliant K

Maybe I can be one step closer to this.

from my neighbor so now I

peruse plot summaries.

(Being an English teacher I only read the first couple books in a series, figure out if I can recommend them or not, and then move on.)

Basically this is a database where you enter in the names of chores as adventures and then people connected to you (housemates, co-workers, minions) claim the rewards for completing these adventures. This takes what is obsessive/twinkish about Runescape/Guild Wars/Everquest/World of Warcraft by killing/random clicking on stuff and getting XP/treasure but now makes it actually worth something (ignoring gold farms and selling your Level 60 Mage/Shaman/Fanboy).

What also works about the set-up is that in the weekly update it ranks people based on XP, for a little competition. But more importantly it helps you open up dialogue about what people actually do to help out around the house.

I just kept going this morning. I wanted to test out the functions, like how combat worked, so I just kept cleaning. I started when I woke up but then stopped hours later when I noticed I had gone two hours past lunch.

The combat reminds me of the old text adventures where you just kept pressing on one button and hitting enter. You can skip the combat because it is just for looks. The combat really doesn’t affect the XP or anything, but is kinda fun seeing the goofy monster names that the adventure creator named. We’ll see how people fare against General Tso at the Cooking of the Dinner.

Kishi is already joining me in the fight against dirt. If you want to help us take on Lord Weed’s troops, just leave a comment and I can e-mail you the invite code.

I have yet to see what the benefit of going gold is, other than just you need to “go gold” whenever there’s free internet games (shyeah right).

The drawback: It’s in a different time zone, so it may show you as doing chores on different days than you actually did. I haven’t found where to change that in the settings yet. (Also, there’s a limited amount of character portraits, but how many people are joining your fight?)

The Haiku:

Chore Wars tracks my work

Whether it’s cleaning showers

or my plundering.

Totally different subject: I wish Wayne Brady was on better shows, since he is so funny. ‘Don’t Forget the Lyrics’ is fun. (It’s funny that NBC is copying the same format with ‘Singing Bee’ with Joey Fatone…just like ‘American Idol’ and then whatever NBC has.) A guy just won $350,000 singing CCR’s ‘Fortunate Son’.

with madden 08
they brought back the franchise mode
eat that, rookie camp

Nintendo’s WiiWare original downloadable games channel (or Wii Software as it’s set to be known in Europe) could launch later this year, despite Reggie Fils-Aime’s original announcement of a 2008 debut. That’s according to Nintendo’s senior vice president of marketing and corporate communications George Harrison, who also noted some titles for the new service are already in development.

Now we can get more

games when we want them, but will

the world buy my games?

First, some laughs: 

Spider-Pig: The Movie

Now, some beauty (baeuty): 

Wade Robson (officially: The Man) does modern Jazz (not that funky interpretive junk that contemporary choreographers do). Check these two
Triplets of Bellevue 

Dancing Flame (you gotta watch the genius background info)
I guess Wade also sells dance shoes.

The last part that I will discuss hits close to home for more reasons than just because I’m a public school teacher (but, just like Obama, I must admit that that will color my discussion).

Education = Opportunity

Obama recites an American mantra, that people can succeed in the United States if they have the proper education. He abhors the fact that college loan interest rates are going up. He also can’t stand the fact that a Maytag factory he visited laid off hundreds of workers but then when those workers tried to get more of an education, Maytag offered them a job again. If they took the job, they couldn’t finish the training. If they rejected the job, it negated their ability to qualify for the training.

These are all things that I think need to be changed. I agree with Obama.

To save the consumer money, he also suggests alternative fuel research (I am also a big fan).

…[W]e should end every single tax break the industry currently receives and demand that 1 percent of the oil companies with over $1 billion in quarterly profits go toward financing alternative energy research and the necessary infrastructure.

Once again it’s a government infringement on someone’s rights (I can almost guarantee the CEO of an oil company is probably not going to say, “You’re right! I should make less money and invest more into research that will put me out of business.” A government imposition of beliefs, much like the criticism of abortion legislation.)

Education. Science and technology. Energy. Investments in these three key areas would go a long way in making America more competitive.

And money towards apple pie.

It also means paying teachers what they’re worth. There’s no reason why an experienced, highly qualified, and effective teacher shouldn’t earn $100,000 annually at the peak of his or her career. Highly skilled teachers in such critical fields as math and science – as well as those willing to teach in the toughest urban schools – should be paid even more.

I will be ticked if science teachers make more than English teachers. (Once again, Ray Bradbury and the turning in the grave.) I graduated with credits in Calculus II and Calculus-based Physics I & II, as well as University Chemistry and Software Techniques, Intro to Programming, and a whole slew of labs. I thought about becoming a Physical Sciences high school teacher. For about a day. And then I realized that the teachers that I had the best connection with were my English teachers (although my high school Physics and Chemistry teachers were Greek demi-gods (actually, one was a Highlander)).

I went into English because that was how I could impact students’ lives the way I saw best. Would I be steered away when I could have made more money with science?
All veteran teachers making $100,000? I’m down with that. But then he talks about teacher accountability. That’s great! I actually think that No Child Left Behind has gotten more teachers thinking about common standards, common skills, that students leave the classroom with. Having test accountability also means that you can’t just stick the ELL student in the corner with a coloring page (I have seen it, but I won’t say where).

…[M]ost teachers can tell you with amazing consistency which teachers in their schools are really good, and which are really bad.

Wow. My first year teaching at the junior high level was met with raised eyebrows at best. All the faculty knew was that I didn’t have students in rows the whole time and that students read out loud, even though students aren’t good at reading out loud. (Perhaps they need, oh, this is a longshot…practice?) That was my first year. My fourth year I was the district Teacher of the Year. I know that I grew as a teacher, but I don’t think that I was too different of a teacher. People’s perspective and understanding of teaching switched.

But that first year, if we were under Obama’s style of payment, I would have been short-changed the peer evaluation money. Also, when you connect practice to money, teachers are tempted to teach to impress and not necessarily take risks in instructional strategies.

teachers can tell you with amazing consistency

Great. Salem 1692. Or was it the Jacobins? Who do you try to impress to save yourself? Who is whispering about who? Teachers gossip (which, I assume, other workers do). Teachers teach with differing personalities/styles that can still meet the standards. Do we have the parents grade you? Are they the educational/state standards experts?

Because I see it day in and day out, I believe that it would require many things about public education to be reformed to work.

shoot fireballs from my clenched fists

and World Peace, I guess.

When you don’t know where to eat

Or need bright colors

That…is…awesome!

The Haiku:

Rock out against Slash
In the cold November rain

But you’re still a dork

Also in nerd news: 

There’s also a really cool icon tutorial for Photoshop here.

This is much cooler than translating Sanskrit from EthanHaasWasRight/Wrong/LactoseIntolerant.

There is a new picture on J.J. Abrams’ site from the “Cloverfield” trailer/movie. It’s progressing through the night/morning. A story in Flash photos. Woo-Hoo! Now we’ve got four people, the majority screaming, “Godzilla!” (just kidding) but one staring back at the fire (looks to be taking a picture or videotaping…atta boy! Do it for the YouTube!). And then the usual mass of crazy crowd.

Pretty intriguing, actually. I’m wondering, with just the head of the Statue of Liberty flying towards the crowd, if it’s not a sea monster but something taller. Grabbed the head off and threw it, bent up the crown a little bit.

Alls I know is that without Will Smith we’re messed up.
It also looks like Rob from the trailer is more stressed than panicked.

Good job to Dave’s Movie Corner for picking up on the Japanese business going away party. Maybe Rob was off by a day?

And what about ABZ-3293? Simple. Kali hates SUVs.

…[W]e observe today not a victory of party, but a celebration of freedom—symbolizing an end, as well as a beginning—signifying renewal, as well as change. For I have sworn before you and Almighty God the same solemn oath our forebears prescribed nearly a century and three quarters ago.	1
The world is very different now. For man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty and all forms of human life. And yet the same revolutionary beliefs for which our forebears fought are still at issue around the globe—the belief that the rights of man come not from the generosity of the state, but from the hand of God.	2
We dare not forget today that we are the heirs of that first revolution. Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans—born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace, proud of our ancient heritage—and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to which this Nation has always been committed, and to which we are committed today at home and around the world.	3
Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.	4
This much we pledge—and more.	5
To those old allies whose cultural and spiritual origins we share, we pledge the loyalty of faithful friends. United, there is little we cannot do in a host of cooperative ventures. Divided, there is little we can do—for we dare not meet a powerful challenge at odds and split asunder.	6
To those new States whom we welcome to the ranks of the free, we pledge our word that one form of colonial control shall not have passed away merely to be replaced by a far more iron tyranny. We shall not always expect to find them supporting our view. But we shall always hope to find them strongly supporting their own freedom—and to remember that, in the past, those who foolishly sought power by riding the back of the tiger ended up inside.	7
To those peoples in the huts and villages across the globe struggling to break the bonds of mass misery, we pledge our best efforts to help them help themselves, for whatever period is required—not because the Communists may be doing it, not because we seek their votes, but because it is right. If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.	8
To our sister republics south of our border, we offer a special pledge—to convert our good words into good deeds—in a new alliance for progress—to assist free men and free governments in casting off the chains of poverty. But this peaceful revolution of hope cannot become the prey of hostile powers. Let all our neighbors know that we shall join with them to oppose aggression or subversion anywhere in the Americas. And let every other power know that this Hemisphere intends to remain the master of its own house.	9
To that world assembly of sovereign states, the United Nations, our last best hope in an age where the instruments of war have far outpaced the instruments of peace, we renew our pledge of support—to prevent it from becoming merely a forum for invective—to strengthen its shield of the new and the weak—and to enlarge the area in which its writ may run.	10
Finally, to those nations who would make themselves our adversary, we offer not a pledge but a request: that both sides begin anew the quest for peace, before the dark powers of destruction unleashed by science engulf all humanity in planned or accidental self-destruction.	11
We dare not tempt them with weakness. For only when our arms are sufficient beyond doubt can we be certain beyond doubt that they will never be employed.	12
But neither can two great and powerful groups of nations take comfort from our present course—both sides overburdened by the cost of modern weapons, both rightly alarmed by the steady spread of the deadly atom, yet both racing to alter that uncertain balance of terror that stays the hand of mankind’s final war.	13
So let us begin anew—remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness, and sincerity is always subject to proof. Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.	14
Let both sides explore what problems unite us instead of belaboring those problems which divide us.	15
Let both sides, for the first time, formulate serious and precise proposals for the inspection and control of arms—and bring the absolute power to destroy other nations under the absolute control of all nations.	16
Let both sides seek to invoke the wonders of science instead of its terrors. Together let us explore the stars, conquer the deserts, eradicate disease, tap the ocean depths, and encourage the arts and commerce.	17
Let both sides unite to heed in all corners of the earth the command of Isaiah—to “undo the heavy burdens … and to let the oppressed go free.”	18
And if a beachhead of cooperation may push back the jungle of suspicion, let both sides join in creating a new endeavor, not a new balance of power, but a new world of law, where the strong are just and the weak secure and the peace preserved.	19
All this will not be finished in the first 100 days. Nor will it be finished in the first 1,000 days, nor in the life of this Administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin.	20
In your hands, my fellow citizens, more than in mine, will rest the final success or failure of our course. Since this country was founded, each generation of Americans has been summoned to give testimony to its national loyalty. The graves of young Americans who answered the call to service surround the globe.	21
Now the trumpet summons us again—not as a call to bear arms, though arms we need; not as a call to battle, though embattled we are—but a call to bear the burden of a long twilight struggle, year in and year out, “rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation”—a struggle against the common enemies of man: tyranny, poverty, disease, and war itself.	22
Can we forge against these enemies a grand and global alliance, North and South, East and West, that can assure a more fruitful life for all mankind? Will you join in that historic effort?	23
In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. I do not shrink from this responsibility—I welcome it. I do not believe that any of us would exchange places with any other people or any other generation. The energy, the faith, the devotion which we bring to this endeavor will light our country and all who serve it—and the glow from that fire can truly light the world.	24
And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.	25
My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.	26
Finally, whether you are citizens of America or citizens of the world, ask of us the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which we ask of you. With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love, asking His blessing and His help, but knowing that here on earth God’s work must truly be our own.

John F. Kennedy, Friday, January 20, 1961

I find it interesting that this may have been criticized by modern Democrats and Republicans depending on whose mouth it came out of in modern day. I would not consider myself a Barack Hussein Obama voter, but I am enjoying his book, Audacity of Hope. In it he says that at our core, Americans share similar values boiled down. But when people get into the political arena, they have to be the extreme. You must either be big government or big business, you can’t base your decision on what you think of the situation but instead what the TV audience is cheering for. There are some more interesting thoughts that I’ll put in a part 2 review (since I already put up part 1).

And now for today’s haiku:

The Republicans

and the Democrats must learn

that we are jaded.

You may have seen this in a message from Tom.

Actually, that’s not me. But it sure looks like me. So I sent a message in myspace form:

Hope you do well in the fuse contest, since your midriff guy in Tom’s bulletin looks like me.
Good luck, dopplegangers. (And nice cardboard instruments. Very edgy.)

I think it’s supportive. We’ll see if they reply.