You wanted a picture of Mike’s beard. I think I captured it pretty well.

A friend of mine is teaching her students stage combat, so I pulled some books for reference. This one had the most detailed poses, but the expressions were so incongruous. One picture had a girl kneeing a guy while she maintained a cold, robotic stare. She looked very much like Anne from Arrested Development. (Her?)

Here’s their explanation.

I feel that I’ve done a halfway decent job of recreating the Eastman and Laird fun of the early 90s.

Oh, that’s right. That’s when mutated turtles were supposed to be gritty. Sorry for the use of the word ‘fun’.

Watching Jim Henson make Muppets makes me want to make Muppets. So cool.

If you haven’t watched the a capella Inception trailer, remedy that immediately. My kids still crack up, which is a testament to its genius.

Both my fantasy teams won this week, which is a testament to the power of injured reserves/back-up quarterbacks.

I’m 20,000 words into my steampunk novel, which is exciting. (Thanks, Dad, for loaning me the books. Hopefully your favorite President doesn’t get too mangled by the end.) 20,000 words; only 50,000 more. It’s times like these when I’m glad that OSX Spotlight does arithmetic instantly in the search box.

This next link is for anyone who plays Star Wars Saga Edition and/or is a reference nerd. Jesse found the ultimate index.

The PDF is here.

It brings a tear to my eye because:

1. It is a thing of beauty.
2. Now all the books, who people were paid to write and organize, can finally be used.
3. There are hours of searching on Star Wars nights that we’ll never get back.

Thanks again, Jesse, for the find.

I must also highlight the Futile Ohm again for his Microsoft generosity. The Redmond company is seeping into my brain.

I interrupted the district’s retirement counselor after school today as he was calling in concern to one of the superintendents. He was worried that he would have many angry people because of a location change.

He started to tell one of the superintendents that there was some kind of outbreak in the library and he was worried about infectious diseases.

I explained to him that ‘Overtakers’ are villains in a book series.

I’ll have more thoughts later this week on my professional site about the author visit.

In the course of entertainment, it becomes self-evident that power must be held by the few or the one – that one being myself. With your investment, I plan to offer programming that the masses will enjoy, the masses that many have chosen to exploit. The fire of Leno has gone out of the universe. We, a new entertainment order, will terminate the other networks. Immediately. All will be made right in the galaxy by instilling peace through might.

You don’t know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate them. NBC was charming to the last. But lying to us about the time slot location of Conan O’Brien was inexcusable. Perhaps they will respond to an alternative form of persuasion.

Please consider helping us bring Conan O’Brien to Late Night for good. With our prospective network, the regional broadcasters would have direct control over their territories. Air Conan O’Brien at a time slot that he deserves. Join us – or die.

Thank you for your time and interest,
Wilhuff Tarkin
Grand Moff of Marketing and Sales

(Thanks to Devin for the inspiration.)

For more information, refer to articles here and here.

In a shocking news release yesterday, the EPA told reporters that greenhouse gases could kill human beings.

This is very unnerving, indeed, considering how greenhouse gases have only received praise from the media. This tarnishes the impeccable reputation previously sustained by greenhouse gases, putting them in the same league as kilohertz and Niehls Bohr for scary-sounding science vocabulary.

One neighbor was quoted as saying, “I don’t think any of us could see it coming. Greenhouse gases were always such good neighbors. They were quiet and kept to themselves. It’s a real shame, if you ask me.”

In other news, Richard Branson, winner of The Bloggh’s 2008 Beardiest Billionaire Award, finally made it possible for people with lots of money to escape the confines of Earth and rise above their tortured existence of having lots of money and getting what they want. I’m glad their dreams can finally be fulfilled.
In keeping with VSS Enterprise tradition, Branson gave a Shatner-esque double thumbs-up, called a spaceship sexy, and put a picture of a woman in tights on the hull.

I find it ironic that no one has mentioned Babe Ruth’s Groundhog Day scandal.

Perhaps posterity forgives you for living the same day over and over again, doing mainly batting practice and hooking up with Andie McDowell.

Have you seen the Squirrelizer? Tons of fun. It’s in reference to this.

I mainly put this up for my wife, but many people have so many memories with Total Eclipse of the Heart. Sure, the Lifehouse skit has deeper meaning, but this song has etched into my brain people in black sweatshirts turning around to reveal all of college’s temptations. I guess with the advent of High School Musical 4, life’s tough lessons must now come through song.

But this video here tells us the true story of Total Eclipse of the Heart:

Gavin is in the land of kangaroos and Master Blaster and found this wonderful piece of evidence engraved near the Harbour Bridge (Google Maps 1, Bing 0 (better angle)).

Imagine a Wii game where the studio took their time, thought through the storyline, and perhaps (wonder of wonders) have read a few books?

And they reference Cloverfield with They Live – what more do we need?

Then look at what happens when The Anchorman tries for a witty comeback.

Or uses MS Paint for the first time:

As a librarian, the whole fair use issue intrigues me. Why else would I listen to Lessig as I drive in the Scion? Out of sheer pretension?

Perhaps.

Also – did you see the memo to Hollywood from the New York Times? Is it within fair use to rip off Devin?

South Korea, on the other hand, is cornering the market on glowing beagles.

Ah, yes.

No matter where you go, there you are.

These QR uber-barcodes are increasingly popular with mobile phone crowds, like in Switzerland, Japan, and Australia. Augmented Reality through QR Codes, I guess. You point your phone at the box, phone program converts the box, funny message (or usually advertisement) comes across. I tried running a couple of barcode programs on my phone, but they wanted me to have data access. I don’t have data on my phone; if you want to read what my shirt says, try putting the image URL into this site.

Chuck was awesome tonight. I loved the drive-in movie theater from Back to the Future III.

One thing about Heroes that my wife noticed that some might not – Baby Matt Parkman was facing his car seat backwards last time, now he’s facing forward. That’s a big change for a baby.

I worked on setting up barcode readers on my phone while I semi-watched Heroes. I think I still got the gist – this Sylar guy has issues and kills people.

Here are some quick photos from the birthday extravaganza:

I received two shirts. One is the QR code, the other shall make its world premiere on Saturday for La Noche de la Guerra de las Estrellas. World premiere? Cine Capri for the win. Gambit and Sabretooth will be hanging out in Scottsdale on the red carpet.

Some quick news blurbs:
Twitter now works for Charles Xavier’s Exceptionally Gifted students:

Seriously. Tweeting with your brain. That would be a first for Twitter, in all connotations.

3D camera for the semi-consumer market.

Have you seen the “similar images” search in Google? It looks useful if you want a different resolution of the same photo or if you want clip art that’s a little bit different from the previous images. It’s not like iPhoto’s new trick, where it can recognize facial colors and contours. Similar Images uses the metadata attached to image search results.

If you want Google image results to improve, you can check out the game that they set up so that you’ll whitewash their fences for them.

All of the Fallout fans with Blackberrys (berries?) can turn their phone into a working Pip Boy. Nuclear residue with style.

The gifts didn’t end with donuts and geek shirts. More photos to come throughout the week.

Here’s a shirt that made me laugh, even though I don’t have it. Wash would be proud:


And what post isn’t improved with a samurai?

My oldest’s current contribution to the bloggh:

Yep. Genius.

The X-Factor? teXt-wrap:


When it’s yellow, that means it’s xtremo. Not xtremed, not xtreme, and for sure not extreme. Xtremo.

Muahaha. Your democracy has been set back five minutes.

And I think this may be the longest article title/URL. Come back for updates throughout the day, much like what I had first envisioned as The Longest Day.

6:08am – Watch as I nitpick Yahoo. “All that’s left is to vote, even for Obama.” That’s an ‘open to interpretation’ way to say it. Is there anyone you’re leaning towards, Yahoo? Hmmm?

6:13am – Uh oh. Make sure you scan that correctly. We don’t want a chad incident.

6:17am – They’ve now overflowed to the tables. No talking during the test!

6:57am – Make a Spot check.
As stealthy as a 6’9″ guy can be… (Although wasn’t there an example in one of the rulebooks for a Wookiee tracking a katarn in the rain? Devin, what’s the DC on that?)
I thought you might enjoy the most recent part of The Ruing:

Wooha!
- Wedge taking out the AT-AT with a tow cable

It should be noted that “Into the Trap” was playing in the Scion as I drove up today. Yes, it’s Return of the Jedi and not Empire Strikes Back, but it’s still an awesome squad theme song.

Brown Squadron, you have been given the go ahead. You are weapons free.

8:38am – Sunshine on my shoulder makes me happy.
Actually, just warm.

8:50am – I shall drown my sorrows in RockStar Juiced.

8:52am – J was there at 4:45am at his site. Yeah, contact with the outside world!

8:54am – Review of Juiced: Good for drowning, not necessarily drowning sorrows. I can taste the mango skin. It’s…unnerving.

Not a vanilla mocha.

8:59am – For my wife:

Snaps is the name of the game, the name of the game is snaps.
Can you please
recommend a
*Snap*
physician?

11:15am – Back from voting:

I have my reasons.

12:02pm – Castro praises one of the candidates. Wow. It’s one of those “please don’t help” moments.

1:32pm – Found out from Peter about the Secretary of the Interwebs. (Yeah! Cory Doctorow in a hot air balloon versus Tron Paul!)

3:27pm -

Cooper Black? Times New Roman?

Ouch. I just sprained my sense of design.

3:57pm – There’s a guy here taking a picture of his votes with his cell phone. What a weirdo.

Unless…

Does he have a rival website, also full of Order 66 and El Pollo Loco? I should ask rather than assume.

4:03pm – I got distracted instead by fonts with a live preview.

4:26pm – Why to avoid exit polls and why CNN vowed to not use them after the 2000 election - did they hold to it? Did you know that in France it’s illegal to conduct a poll within 48 hours of an election? It’s also city ordinance for Parisians to have a permit before using a tripod to film. Madness.

4:40pm – Make your own mini Sheriff Megatron. Fun for the whole family at the cost of one sheet of cardstock.

Click on the picture to hugeify it.

5:09pm – I don’t think we should call it just yet.

vs.

I’ve never actually been to Maine, but I could have sworn they had more people than that.

5:41pm – Political Analyst John Elway

5:42pm – Just got called “dude” by one of the workers.

Cringe.

5:44pm – Why is ‘John Elway’ in single quotes? Is it a quote inside the dialogue by Yahoo? Did Tolkien write the Flash dashboard?

5:46pm – Bwaha. Tatyana Ali? Little Ashley Banks?

6:16pm – Considering running on the Monster Raving Loony Party ticket. Do we have a U.S. branch? I guess we do. (Hosted on Tripod. Tres officiale.)

6:30pm – Town Crier just did his “Polls close in 30 minutes” yell.

7:58pm – They have finally packed up. And they still didn’t lean my name. Much shivering, much creeped out. Everyone must leave. Go home.

9:43pm – It’s funny that there’s still ads for McCain/Palin surveys saying “Can they win?” on Yahoo. There’s always the time machine option. I wonder what my grandpa would have thought. Also, I find it dreadfully ironic that the maps aren’t even all colored in yet. (Our state being one of them.) Did all of the hurtful words add up to much? Now to support our new president and be done with political ads for a little bit! Wooha! (Although be prepared for a “Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos.” from time to time.)

I always noticed this up at NAU. The German students had a thing for mocking our presidents with masks. I guess it’s the next generation:

My oldest is a comedian. She kept switching the words around, cracking herself up. Keep in mind that I didn’t read any of it to her:


My youngest has a more “Theatre of the Absurd” sense of humor:

So now our future Presidents have spent $8 per voter to get me to choose them. On the positive, I think we’ll see record numbers of voter turnout (and you will hear all about our Day of Ruing tomorrow).

Two questions, though:

1. Could anyone actually become President without spending more than $1,000?
   (Or even a million?) What kind of system is it when only rich/famous people can become President? Are they more qualified? (Okay, so that was all question one.)
2. What could they have spent that $8 on?

Right now I can’t tackle what’s hugely wrong with a media-drunk information society voting. But I can make some suggestions on what to spend the $8 on next time if you’re buying for me.

1. Wii Points – I could have gotten a decent Virtual Console game from the NES, Genesis, or Super NES. Ninja Gaiden? Hello?
2. 8 double cheeseburgers from McDonald’s – Hey, I’ll foot the sales tax. And if you’re going to one of those crummy McDonald’s, I’ll settle for the Hot n’ Spicy if they don’t have double cheeseburgers. In Albuquerque, add some green peppers. Charleston – Mickey D’s Sweet Tea
3. A matinee movie ticket – We might even have enough left over to fill up a Harkins cup
4. A RedBox keeper – Sure, it doesn’t have the fancy packaging. But at least it’s Iron Man and not Let Me Blame the Other Guy…Man.
5. Two dozen donuts
6. 6 vanilla mocha RockStars – Mmmm…I love elections.
7. A book – When Hunger Games comes out in paperback, you owe me. Or get my library another copy of Bogus to Bubbly.
8. 8 songs on iTunes- Would that cover every Weird Al polka medley?
9. Health Care for a kid in Honduras for a month
10. 800 pennies – Put them in a sock and I’ll get you the votes you need.

These are just off the top of my head, fellows. If you’re going to make policy, at least send me a better gift.

Update: By the time we’re done, it will be an estimated $5.3 billion spent on everyone’s (the Hillarys, Dodds, Romneys of the world included) campaigns. $5.3 billion. Yeah, the GDP of Nicaragua.

1. The whole community gets involved with the football games.
   
   They have the police do donuts (is that irony I smell?) in the football field with a giant prison break siren wailing. To make it even more realistic, the announcer lady (who I swear is from NPR…the shows that are on at 3am) lectures the crowd about how showing loyalty can be declared through good sportsmanship and not starting fights. Yeah, let’s name the team the Criminals. Real positive role-modeling, district board.
2. Actually, the band is the least involved in the game. After the half-time show, they check out for a rave:
   
   Did you ever see Matrix 2: Reloaded, where they have that giant, muddy dance scene for 15 minutes? To be fair, we used to check out for 3rd quarter, as well.
3. 
   Do you remember T-Ball? Same type of visitor’s stands. They have fireworks, neon signs, sirens…but they prioritize based on how many people would actually make the road trip out there.
4. Not all of the cheerleaders go on the road trip, either. You may have to bring your own:
   
5. Everyone was very nice and welcoming, especially the band boosters.
6. My only complaint? Make sure that when you approach Ave 36E, turn off the outside air to your car (Greeley Dr. Pepper up the nose level of stank) and circulate what you have. And please, don’t do like we did and start circulating once the stank had already penetrated the car.
   I put up a warning for people:
   

My daughters and I had so much fun putting these up, we shared the love:

Shhh. Don’t tell them we did it.

New tag.

Brown Squadron, here are some Ruing Resources:
Sauron Poster
Palpatine Poster

Hey…has anyone else seen the keyed parent controls on new Fords?

Something that we can all get behind: anagrams. (Not to be confused with palindromes/Palin Drones.)

Who should we as a collection of nerds vote for? Let’s look at the names:

McCain/Palin

1. La Man Picnic

– Serving up La Food

2. Mac Can Nil Pi

– It could be that McCain’s not good at Math, but I’m guessing it’s Apple becoming bigger than pi itself…Mmmm…Apple Pi…

3. Am Clinic Nap

– Is that a comment about his age?

4. Calm In Panic

– Either he’s got strong military training or refer back to his clinic nap

Obama/Biden

1. Babied Moan

– To be fair, a knock on his age, as well.

2. Babe Domain

– Insert your own Clinton/JFK/FDR/Buchanan joke here.

3. Me Bob Naiad

– Me Jill Centaur. Want dance?

4. A Daemon Bib

– For Chef Ramsay’s show, right?

5. A Badmen Bio

– All of the playground politics of Hussein/Osama references finally catch up.

6. Amoeba Bind

– Possible healthcare reform. Also could be a promise of death by interstellar goo.

Okay, so this election is still crazy. But political commentators, know this: I reject your reality and substitute my own.

On the topic of nerds aging: Do you remember PC games where you had to flip to parts of the manual for different words? I think Mechwarrior had a crazy wheel like Penny Arcade mentions.

This sports entry is for Slade, who is taking a big test today.
E-mail subject: Suggestions for Improving Baseball’s Reach to a New Generation

Dear Bud Selig:
To be able to properly meet the demands of fans in a changing global economy, I believe that some changes need to be made to expand Major League Baseball’s demographic.

Baseball players are not looked at as being as fit of athletes as other sports players, such as basketball and football players. A means of proving their determination must be provided. Equip each baseball outfit with a low impedance transformer and an external sensor. Also, give everyone on defense a low-divergence laser gun that has a two second burst and a battery that must be recharged through kinetic energy.

As a runner is approaching a base, the defenders can fire upon the runner. The runner’s sensor, if hit by the laser, triggers the low impedance transformer. I believe that Starter brand team outfitters has the ability to manufacture a transformer with a 1000 ohm output, much like what is found in current shock collars to inhibit dog barking. Runners will have to push even harder through more difficult muscle spasms to reach the bag, proving their determination and sportsmanship. To make things fair, after the 7th inning stretch the runners can also be equipped with laser guns.

Adding on to the excitement would be on fan nights when fans would be given laser guns, as well. I believe that a generation growing up on first person shooters would appreciate a gun more than that little bat that they get that technically wouldn’t even qualify as a back-up inventory weapon if your ammo ran out. Also, fans could be made to wear the shock uniforms and could fire their lasers across the stadiums. Finally we could end the rivalry between the Seattle Mariners and the Detroit Tigers.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I appreciate any feedback.

Sincerely,
A Fan

I sent this e-mail to him today. If he doesn’t respond back, I could send him a letter at:

The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball
245 Park Avenue, 31st floor
New York, NY 10167

Marvel vs. DC
To get the biases out of the way – Batman is my favorite superhero, but once you start talking rich universes I’m more of a Marvel guy. Exception: Flash is cooler than Quicksilver, although Quicksilver has a cooler lineage.

But what about the fruit snacks?

It should be noted that Marvel first produced the Transformers comic books.
To start, let’s go supervillains:

Joker (left) vs. Green Goblin (right)
Both are fans of purple and green. Both are insane. Both are globs of modified corn starch and fruit juice concentrate. Maybe not a good place to start. It looks like they weren’t even trying.

The “white flavored” snacks are arranged in order of coolness. The insignia from the movies/batarang. Woot.

Next, a spiderweb. I’m diggin’ it, but it could be left over from Dora the Explorer Halloween Snacks. (We never had them (I loathe the undead), although the Dora Saves the Mermaids ones are tasty.)

But what’s up with the Third Reich covered truck bed Transformer? It’s like the Scion-wannabe Chevy Groove or whatever that ugly spawn of a Sith-corrupted PT Cruiser is that’s driving around. Nissan, just don’t.

Let’s look at the “blue flavored” snacks. Venom is really cool, but his tongue-lash does not an appetite make. Optimus is great, but his faceplate and pronged sideburns don’t stand out.

The Batman bust sticks out. The snack is deeper than it is wide, so you have to flip it to see the picture straight on. I like it.

Yellow. Mangled Bumblebee face or clear insignia? Insignia.

Evidence that the Batman fruit snacks are cooler than the Spider-man and Transformers ones combined. (Photographic play on words in memory of Brenda.)

In conclusion, DC (in this instance) beats Marvel and Libya remains a land of many contrasts.

My daughter was kindof shocked by the sacrifice required by science of her fruit snacks:

In an unrelated story, my wife went with my sister-in-law to go see Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 during lunchtime…

In another showing of her talent, Lisa Frank has a new product line on the market:

The rarest part of the whole story?

When interviewed, the okapi had no idea who Obama or Palin were.

Fact: Okapi are politically apathetic.

It also turns out that Edgar Mitchell (his July 23 tell-all here) has books out, like Psychic Exploration: A Challenge for Science. He’s rumored to have worked with X-Files, but IMDB doesn’t list anything.

Mike, you’ll be pleased to know that Max Payne is being made into a movie.

And then I saw this:


I thought Vafer, Futile Ohm, and J would appreciate the typography of it all. Yes, the monument is about a sad event, but come on! Did you start chiseling and not leave enough room? At least you didn’t tilt your writing going up the side and getting smaller.

This one’s for Mike and Slade:

I know that it was a massacre and all, but there’s no need for name-calling.

And this one’s for the Group:

To the one who was entrusted bison and the bison were handled shrewdly, it was multiplied tenfold bison. In a tourist handbook.

The Haiku
It’s a good promise
that if he does a bad job
Can’t say we weren’t warned

I like to call this video “My Dad: A Study in Motion Sickness”

As x approaches Stan Lee, x is multiplied by the 12 movies so far, rising exponentially by Life, the Universe, and Everything, factored by the amount of gamma radiation present (I find it funny that it looks like a hangman’s gallows) within the boundaries of how many movies make money divided by the 31 attempts so far. Solution: As long as Marvel movies make money, the rate of babies born looking like Stan Lee will increase exponentially. Modus ponens Excelsior! (Not counting ‘Who wants to be a super-hero?’ because, frankly, no one watches that anymore.)
(Do you like my wife’s ultra cool stationery?)
(I being an expert on cool.)

Here’s a cool mash-up of Stan Lee’s cameos:

With the upcoming X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie slated for May 1, 2009:
The Good News

1. Remy LeBeau
2. Deadpool

(my obsession ever since Ultimate Alliance)

3. Dominic Monaghan

The Bad News

1. Will.i.am

(Remember a Wayans in DnD? Surprisingly, the Academy didn’t!)

And Mike, here’s your Star Wars parody. I felt like demonstrating another funny situation where real life people interact with a fantasy world:

(Star Wars being reality and American Politics a fantasy. I thought we all knew that.)

The Haiku
Math illustrated
by non-traditional means
makes it spicier!

After Devin made myself and my wife crack up, I felt like his comment deserved its own post and illustration.

The Haiku
It never made sense
what my momma used to say
until the Small Moon

I’m getting used to it, now that I installed the drivers. Above is an example from day 1 (tonight). I smell some fun learning projects. (Keep in mind Booyor’s BLOGgh spawned from my Master’s degree where I needed a place to break web pages before I had to turn in assignments and capstones. Now it’s just a sick obsession.)

I know this will sound dumb, but it’s so much easier to draw. (Yeah, smack your forehead, but whatever.) With the pressure sensitivity I’m getting some cool non-pencil-scanning results. The kids (especially the manga-aspiring students of my club) will flip.

The Haiku
In a new body
limited by mouse – but now
I draw like fifth grade

CONCERNED WITH SPICE
Sep 17, 7:32p ET

It is to this reporter’s embarrassment that he must report a scandal in a time when professional football players are known for their moral fiber and lack of criminal records. Recent league mandated drug-testing of the Reallymeanpeople has revealed that Meanyhead, the mascot for the Reallymeanpeople, has been using performance-enhancing spice melange. In a direct violation of treaties with the Navigator’s guild, Meany has been skimming the left-overs from sandworms in order to better read the emotions of the crowd and the players. His “weirding wave” throws the crowd into complete, mind-killer chaos. It can be neither confirmed nor denied that Meany, a member of House Harkonnen, is the quisatch hadderach or not. When asked to comment, he responded, “Long live THE FOAM FINGERS!”

The Haiku
Did I really need
another example of
my big nerdiness?

And I just love Devin’s article, especially the South Philly write-up:

After a tumultuous off-season, or at least mulch-filled for those who garden, another season of fantasy football is nigh. The league has tightened up the team ownership restrictions, requiring that all owners be human, elementary school graduates, and not imaginary. Unfortunately, the new codes have eliminated a few of previous owners, and with others also resigning in ignominious defeat, the league has contracted to only eight teams.

However, our perennial powerhouses return to the griddle- sorry, gridiron. Dan brings back the Dry Heat, looking for a fourth straight trip to the title game, and a chance to avenge his loss last year to his witty, dashing, and above all humble son, Devin, who plans to continue last year’s success as the coach of the Monoliths. As another long time contender, Anne brings in her controversial and potentially revolutionary County Kerry Offense scheme as coach of the Kestrels. But we cannot discount the old school, smashmouth style of play that Kate’s Ballycastle Bats bring to the field, not to mention the potential threat of rabies.

There was a hotly contested fight for one of the open slots in the league, but just last night the West Philidelphia Fresh Princes were trounced by the geographically confusing work of the South Philly Aztecs- some claim that the Aztecs were up to no good, along with allegations of making trouble in the neighborhood, but it’s more likely that the Moira’s keen coaching style turned the tide. The fact that her brother is the league commissioner, of course, had no bearing on the decision.

Meanwhile, at the registration tables, Morgan nearly missed out on her sophomore season of coaching, due to a distinct lack of parking for her entire Armada- the problem was solved eventually, but fans are advised to arrive early for tailgating all season, as most stadiums lack the capacity to park more than a single Kargoth-class battle cruiser. There were no such registration problems for the newest member of the league, however, and all coaches are certain to be wary of the Rockers and new coach Sherri- rumor has it that her offensive schemes go up to 11.

In a stunning move, Paramount has decided to release a screen still from on the set of J.J. Abrams’ new film.

Here it is:

“I will take over the world, and the fires of many ages will be rendered smooth.”
It’s kinda blurry, but you can kind of make out some type of gray sweater and smarmy look. It is said that the monster will “rampage” the “Big Apple”.

Here is a scientific analysis of the hypemonster. We’ll use BlogPulse!

More people were talking about the iPhone than Mitt Romney, but 1-18-08 still had more hype.

You’ll notice in this next graph that more people care about their family than the Iraq War, but more people still value 1-18-08 over their families.

In fact, more people value 1-18-08 than love and life itself combined:

I hope this clears things up.

Here are some photo tips. 

Dogs playing poker. Always a classic. Here’s some background about AZ state legislators trying to stall on funding ELL education.

Actually happened today. It really was a good idea for finding partners.

Here’s the drastic result:

And then I had to make a flashcard about…yep! Informal assessment! For a hint, check his feet:

I had to photograph the bumpin’ party (don’t be hatin’):

‘Hit’, ‘dank’, and ‘mos def’ were at my table, but when I worked with another group they asked what ‘newb’ meant. (Yes, I ascertain the irony.)

Prop 203 banned bilingual education in Arizona and if a teacher speaks in Spanish, they may get in serious trouble. Every teacher is required to take SEI courses to cover the state’s bases for reaching new speakers of English. In a class of 30 (x however many classes) English-speaking students, we are now considered good enough in the books to teach English from the ground up…in one year.

You can’t renew your certificate until you become SEI certified.

SEI is:

“SHELTERED ENGLISH IMMERSION” OR “STRUCTURED ENGLISH IMMERSION” MEANS AN ENGLISH LANGUAGE ACQUISITION PROCESS FOR YOUNG CHILDREN IN WHICH NEARLY ALL CLASSROOM INSTRUCTION IS IN ENGLISH BUT WITH THE CURRICULUM AND PRESENTATION DESIGNED FOR CHILDREN WHO ARE LEARNING THE LANGUAGE. BOOKS AND INSTRUCTIONAL MATERIALS ARE IN ENGLISH AND ALL READING, WRITING, AND SUBJECT MATTER ARE TAUGHT IN ENGLISH. ALTHOUGH TEACHERS MAY USE A MINIMAL AMOUNT OF THE CHILD’S NATIVE LANGUAGE WHEN NECESSARY, NO SUBJECT MATTER SHALL BE TAUGHT IN ANY LANGUAGE OTHER THAN ENGLISH, AND CHILDREN IN THIS PROGRAM LEARN TO READ AND WRITE SOLELY IN ENGLISH. THIS EDUCATIONAL METHODOLOGY REPRESENTS THE STANDARD DEFINITION OF “SHELTERED ENGLISH” OR “STRUCTURED ENGLISH” FOUND IN EDUCATIONAL LITERATURE.

If English-speakers can’t take bilingual education and learn Spanish from the ground up in context, why do the universities require two credits of modern language?

Here are things that you can’t sell, but would be pretty fun to sell, on eBay:

Prohibited and Restricted Items
Are you sure your item is allowed on eBay? You can learn more about prohibited and restricted items here. These items include alcohol, animals, credit cards, food, fireworks, tobacco and weapons.

I dare anyone to make the Ultimate Prohibited Auction of drunk caribou smoking cigars over their ID theft scam while eating caviar and launching M80s. In Canada.

While in Yahoo mail , I noticed an ad for mormon.org. I clicked (without even having to shoot the monkey or zap the fly) and was taken to a page with their traditional responses about their faith. I then clicked on ‘Chat with a Live Missionary’. It loaded an applet and I waited for a little bit. Then a user, Tiffany of the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter-Day Saints, came in and asked how I was doing.

I freaked. I jumped back from the computer and closed the windows. Not once has my house been visited by LDS missionaries, but I did go on their Work and the Glory website and started receiving LDS spam in my NAU account (without entering an e-mail address). Now I wonder if they’ll track my IP address and come knocking on my door in Greenland (which is where I live, if you want to stalk me).

Since I won’t sleep tonight, here’s a light-hearted look at a class where the teacher doesn’t know how to turn off her new phone.

Any item described as being ‘contaminated’ by radiation is not permitted on eBay. For example, a rock taken from a Nevada nuclear test site would fall into this category and would be prohibited.

Thanks for looking out for me, but I takes my gamma radiation like I takes my coffee…

The teacher made me read in Olde English out loud in front of the class. (She ironically had put up an overhead that everyone thought was spelled incorrectly but I recognized as a peasant farm report.)

It had been at least six years  (yeah, Fitzmaurice!) since I had read out loud in Olde English (my illustrious NAU education). Like riding a bike, right? I thought to myself, “How would a Cannon read it?”

This comic, though, talks about the Dark Side of SEI:

And yes, I did draw the bear.