Category Archives: Math!

Put that on your Christmas card.

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We always see Isaiah 9:6, but did you know there’s a verse before it?

5 For every boot of the tramping warrior in battle tumult
and every garment rolled in blood
will be burned as fuel for the fire.
6 For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given;

“For” is an important transition word, right?

May today and tomorrow be restful for you in light of a hard-fought peace that you did not earn.

I did get a haircut, which normally shouldn’t be too much news, but when it only happens, like, five times a year (I never did the math until now), inquiring minds want to know. I have lost my Alan Moore disguise. Mike, I’m excited to see Colorado’s Baron Davis Effect.

Nice.

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I guess my version of Santa does look like Donkey Kong chucking down barrel-y goodness. It would make sense considering Yuffie the Snowman is trying to catch a ninjabread man scaling the roof of the A-frame.
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Okay. Yes, I have now seen it.

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Most people that I’ve run into in the past few days have wanted to talk to me about the Avengers official trailer.

Yes, I have now seen it.

Hulk? Wow, that’s actually pretty cool. I hadn’t been following the movie. I had totally spaced that Lou Ferrigno is going to voice the green monster and that the boyfriend from 13 Going on 30 is Bruce Banner.

Loki as the first villain, though? I trust Joss Whedon. Here’s hoping for some Skrull. I also can already tell Whedon’s positive influence on the dialogue. I also know that he will make sure that Black Widow is a strong enough character to compete with the other heroes.

Also, a correction from an earlier comment. My wife never watched Jem, even though the intro is awesome:

(Well, Jem will never forget her name, that’s for darn sure.)

I had spaced that her absolute favorite show was Square One, which also ranks high on my list.

I never noticed the similarity to the Saturday Night Live opening.

But, faithful readers, the big question is WHY DID MATHMAN ALWAYS LOSE?

Mike, even though this is non-Robotech, you can still weigh in.

I have a faint memory of Mathman not dying and Mathman being very confused.

I would watch more baseball if there were more Devin.

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Seriously. When I see some of the people that get jobs as color commentators and then I watch this:

I realize that my viewing of baseball on the y-axis is directly proportionate to the increased value of Devin on the x-axis.

The ultimate sports show would be these two announcers paired up with the disembodied head of Mark Twain and the computer programmer from Deadliest Warrior.

Come on, Internet. Make it happen!

Be about it!

We’re doing math!

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image

The homework is to Look and Say the math problem and then Write and Say the problem.

My oldest was frustrated that she couldn’t just say it in her head. I told her that it’s important to learn how to follow directions. She said it was boring. The ninja master side of me came out. I closed my eyes and listened for writing. If I heard a pencil scratch unaccompanied by voice, I struck.

Math homework was less boring tonight.

(We’re now dividing paper money based on how many new and/or used games we could buy.)

A different voice – RAWR!

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I’ve spent the past few days drafting reform policy for our school and plotting a vision for the long-term mixed with short-term incremental goals. Much of this revolves around data analysis and dry reports (no LOLZ to district superintendents, unfortunately).

So, for contrast:

Our 19th President – How can you break a railroad strike with such tiny arms?

Even my toddler wouldn’t go to my birthday party.

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I have a birthday coming up. I now have to do the math to figure out how old I am. I gave the wrong answer earlier this week.

Tonight my wife asked my kids if they would go to my birthday party. My youngest quickly said no, while my oldest said it would probably have to be a Star Wars party.

In lieu of a party, I want you to enjoy the following clips:


But who shot first?

New Star Tours Details: The Adventures Continue

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Did you see the article in the L.A. Times?

If you’ve ridden in a Star Speeder 3000, you probably have wondered why the Rex droid promises to get you to pastoral Endor when EVERY SINGLE TIME he takes you through those blasted crystals. (Slade, this is where you yell, “Brakes! Brakes! There’s nothing in here but BEEEES!”)

The revamped ride is rumored to feature 54 different possibilities. Is that somewhere between 4! and 5! in factorials? Math! The riders are supposed to influence the story so that there’s a good chance every time you rode it you would get a different beginning, middle, and end. (18 x 3 (to get 54) doesn’t work because you wouldn’t go to Endor 3 times in one trip, right? Depends if Rex is there. We also don’t know if by going to Geonosis you’re too far away to visit the Core planets in a timely fashion (I’m assuming they’re sticking to the correct hyperspace routes, right?) thus eliminating an option.)

I’m just excited Ackbar is a promised character.

These pins are also exciting:

This is football!

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Ahh, Fantasy Football:

…but in games decided by tenths of points, I think it should be lowered a bit, also instead of linear regressions, I think we should go parabolic to adjust for the standard distribution of NFL scoring. I offer the friendly amendment of instead of 24, 18, 12 , 6, 0, -2, -8, we go 18, 10, 5, 2, 0, -2, -6.

Bloggh predictions for 2010

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I don’t claim to be able to predict the future (especially since my VCR is not working up to its full potential), but here are some guesses of things to come:

  1. A software developer will release a compilation of party mini-games for the Wii.
  2. The PS3 will welcome a game that has excessive amounts of entrails and nudity, garnering a Mature rating. I will still question the ESRB as to why sociopaths are not valued as the paragon of maturity for our society.
  3. The XBOX360 will add a game to its library where the hero has a machine gun and the entire game’s perspective is from behind that gun. It will be hailed as the most innovative game of the year.
  4. A country with nuclear (or even nuculear) weapons will threaten the US. Our population will not be able to identify the country on an unmarked map (unless the country was featured in an XBOX game).
  5. In the light of my disappointment at space stations in the year 2001, I’m guessing that the manned mission to Saturn to find the Star Child will probably be postponed until some time after 2010.
  6. Universal Health Care will not be as universal as advertised. The Star Child’s mother will still be paying towards a huge deductible from the Star Hospital, due to an error in a DRG code.
  7. A celebrity will die and the news will run the person’s picture for a week. Thousands will die from hunger-related complications each day, receiving minimal media coverage. Money from the celebrity’s funeral could have fed a significant amount of those people. (Oh, am I ranting on the bloggh? That’s never happened before.)(Here’s one of the scariest Excel spreadsheets ever.)
  8. A sports player will get arrested.
  9. One local professional team will do well while the rest sit in mediocrity.
  10. Erin Hunter will publish five books about a cat civil war. I, on the other hand, will be thankful to publish one book (not necessarily about a cat civil war).
  11. I will lobby for nutmeg to be the main ingredient for every family meal.
  12. Disney will release another Buddies movie. (We’re watching one of the four-pack that my mom got my daughters. Gee. Thanks, Mom.)
  13. Chuck will rock.
  14. We all thought Apple was releasing a tablet. Nope. Mind-control device.
  15. We’ll start bracing for teenage adolescence. The next decade makes me nervous.
  16. I will replace my torn-ligament foot with a giant metal claw.
  17. I will update something called a “bloggh” from time to time.

Ten years ago I was a Resident Assistant in a Freshman dorm, hung out with this hot girl who bought me donuts, and played Final Fantasy VIII in Mike’s room until insane hours of the morning.

Things have progressed, as I now have my own assistant in my library, I married the hot girl with the donuts, and I play Star Wars in Mike’s living room until insane hours of the morning.

Ten years from now I will have a famous book about a toilet in an elevator (old RA joke), my hot wife will be baking health-smart donuts (I’ll be 40, after all), and I will probably be obsessing over some nerd entertainment in Mike’s holodeck. (It will be something akin to when Picard thought he was Robin Hood, but we will find some way to turn Riker to the Dark Side. Consider the beard.)

Did you know that ten years ago I had been asked if I could grow a goatee? The rest, as they say, is history.

1 Mathematical Ode to My Day

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1 a.m.
2 toilets not working
1 night slept on a my brother’s living room floor (THANK YOU!)
4 trips to Home Depot
1 idiotic sales-teenager who thought I said I had a snake in my toilet
1 annoying salesperson who thought she’d crack a joke that wasn’t funny – did I look like I was in the mood for sarcasm?
1 phone call to our friendly neighborhood bathroom friend (THANK YOU!)
3 houses down the street to use the bathroom
9 hours to fix one toilet
24 dirty towels
6 new tiles
64 ounces of Diet Coke
4 text messages from friends (THANK YOU!)
2 bathtubs full of sewer back-up (eww.)
2 toilets still not flushing
1 girl to SPARKS
1 call to Roto-Rooter
1 phone call from a friend (THANK YOU!)
1 Roto-rooted pipe
2 showers cleaned
3 loads of towels washed
2 showers taken
1 load of dishes
4 e-mails from friends (THANK YOU!)
1 dog with a seizure
4 Subway subs
1 bed time story
=
1 “day off” that did not go as planned

Does history remember Adam Worth?

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Caution: This post is a treasure trove of marshmallowy goodness, just like this awesome VCR hack.

The Holmes Part
I’m researching the history and motivation behind the creation of Professor Moriarty. He’s been showing up every ten chapters in Vanguard, doing his supervillain thing (being one of the first supervillains).

But have you heard of Adam Worth?

This is the original “Napoleon of Crime” that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle may have used as a reference point. Worth had been marked accidentally as killed in action in the Civil War. Having no identity, he floated from regiment to regiment earning sign-up bonuses and then leaving. He then took his earnings to Boston, coordinated a pickpocket ring, and then took the show over seas for bigger heists.

Having exhausted Tchaikovsky for the moment, I’ve been listening extensively to Johnny Cash. I don’t know if that can coexist in the Scion, but we haven’t had a matter/anti-matter baryogenetic explosion yet, so I think we’re cool.

So now, as I’m typing chapter 50 of Vanguard (remember: short, James Patterson-esque chapters), I wish I had Ghost Riders in the Sky or Folsom Prison Blues playing through my head as The Hessian Horseman tears apart Wilbur Gloaming Junior High.

Nope. Oh What A Dream. D’oh. (At least it’s not Ghost Chickens in the Sky.)

The Star Wars Part
Sadly, I’ve actually wanted to see this happen to Donald for a long time:

It’s better than if I wanted to see Minnie in a Slave Leia bikini. Oh, wait. I guess some guy at Disney thinks that’s important. Check out the figurines. The crazy part? Think limited edition Star Wars collectible. Now add a Disney character into the equation:

f(How much you’ll pay) = (Ability to name Ellorrs Madak)Number of Mickey shirts worn this year

The math is staggering.

Back to Fourth Grade

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I received another note this week from a staff member that had my first name and last initial on it. There’s another person on staff now that shares my first name.

I am now being called by the same name I had in fourth grade, when there were three of us who shared the same first name.

To be fair, the quality of my day is a function of the amount of strawberry milk in the cafeteria, which can best be described by:

Don’t forget to carry the 2. Any fourth grader could identify this simple Jacobi polynomial.

2009 is the year of…

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  1. The Dog – When I let Indiana out to feed him this morning, he was in the backyard barking. He never barks if there’s not trouble. (He’s an awesome dog like that.) Why was he barking? Oh, the German shepherd that had climbed a neighbor’s cactus to get into our yard.
  2. Leap Seconds – Did you adjust your clocks a second to account for the Earth’s rotation in Universal Time? It’s from the Navy, so it must be true.
  3. The Zune! (just kidding) – What’s their firmware update? Wait a day.
  4. Talk About It! - What? I don’t know.
  5. Furry Fury – A new comic contributed to by my family and the comedic geniuses (geniusi) of Nintendo
    Click on the thumbnail to read this example of Japanese awesomeness.