Booyor’s BLOGgh!

Click here for the video.

Every time you hear a cacophony of metal hitting metal in the video, that is J and I “cheering” with strained voices.

Also, the Scion has a feature that rocks. Some readers may view it as archaic, but I view it as borderline arcane: the exclamation point. When ! shows up, it is necessary to check tire pressure. 35 psi for the front, 32 psi for the back. This is in the comparison to the, “Eh, looks alright. Maybe fill up that other side a bit more, now that I see it” that the Reliant inspired.

5:52am - I’ve actually been here since 5:35am, but it takes that long for our school network to synchronize files. 5:35am - Everything is going according to plan. There was a surprisingly long line outside of my library. I think we may beat in the first hour the 29 that showed up the entire time last time.

Muahaha. Your democracy has been set back five minutes.

And I think this may be the longest article title/URL. Come back for updates throughout the day, much like what I had first envisioned as The Longest Day.

6:08am - Watch as I nitpick Yahoo. “All that’s left is to vote, even for Obama.” That’s an ‘open to interpretation’ way to say it. Is there anyone you’re leaning towards, Yahoo? Hmmm?

6:13am - Uh oh. Make sure you scan that correctly. We don’t want a chad incident.

6:17am - They’ve now overflowed to the tables. No talking during the test!

6:57am - Make a Spot check.
As stealthy as a 6′9″ guy can be… (Although wasn’t there an example in one of the rulebooks for a Wookiee tracking a katarn in the rain? Devin, what’s the DC on that?)
I thought you might enjoy the most recent part of The Ruing:

Wooha!
- Wedge taking out the AT-AT with a tow cable

It should be noted that “Into the Trap” was playing in the Scion as I drove up today. Yes, it’s Return of the Jedi and not Empire Strikes Back, but it’s still an awesome squad theme song.

Brown Squadron, you have been given the go ahead. You are weapons free.

8:38am - Sunshine on my shoulder makes me happy.
Actually, just warm.

8:50am - I shall drown my sorrows in RockStar Juiced.

8:52am - J was there at 4:45am at his site. Yeah, contact with the outside world!

8:54am - Review of Juiced: Good for drowning, not necessarily drowning sorrows. I can taste the mango skin. It’s…unnerving.

Not a vanilla mocha.

8:59am - For my wife:

Snaps is the name of the game, the name of the game is snaps.
Can you please
recommend a
*Snap*
physician?

11:15am - Back from voting:

I have my reasons.

12:02pm - Castro praises one of the candidates. Wow. It’s one of those “please don’t help” moments.

1:32pm - Found out from Peter about the Secretary of the Interwebs. (Yeah! Cory Doctorow in a hot air balloon versus Tron Paul!)

3:27pm -

Cooper Black? Times New Roman?

Ouch. I just sprained my sense of design.

3:57pm - There’s a guy here taking a picture of his votes with his cell phone. What a weirdo.

Unless…

Does he have a rival website, also full of Order 66 and El Pollo Loco? I should ask rather than assume.

4:03pm - I got distracted instead by fonts with a live preview.

4:26pm - Why to avoid exit polls and why CNN vowed to not use them after the 2000 election - did they hold to it? Did you know that in France it’s illegal to conduct a poll within 48 hours of an election? It’s also city ordinance for Parisians to have a permit before using a tripod to film. Madness.

4:40pm - Make your own mini Sheriff Megatron. Fun for the whole family at the cost of one sheet of cardstock.

Click on the picture to hugeify it.

5:09pm - I don’t think we should call it just yet.

vs.

I’ve never actually been to Maine, but I could have sworn they had more people than that.

5:41pm - Political Analyst John Elway

5:42pm - Just got called “dude” by one of the workers.

Cringe.

5:44pm - Why is ‘John Elway’ in single quotes? Is it a quote inside the dialogue by Yahoo? Did Tolkien write the Flash dashboard?

5:46pm - Bwaha. Tatyana Ali? Little Ashley Banks?

6:16pm - Considering running on the Monster Raving Loony Party ticket. Do we have a U.S. branch? I guess we do. (Hosted on Tripod. Tres officiale.)

6:30pm - Town Crier just did his “Polls close in 30 minutes” yell.

7:58pm - They have finally packed up. And they still didn’t lean my name. Much shivering, much creeped out. Everyone must leave. Go home.

9:43pm - It’s funny that there’s still ads for McCain/Palin surveys saying “Can they win?” on Yahoo. There’s always the time machine option. I wonder what my grandpa would have thought. Also, I find it dreadfully ironic that the maps aren’t even all colored in yet. (Our state being one of them.) Did all of the hurtful words add up to much? Now to support our new president and be done with political ads for a little bit! Wooha! (Although be prepared for a “Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos.” from time to time.)

I always noticed this up at NAU. The German students had a thing for mocking our presidents with masks. I guess it’s the next generation:

My oldest is a comedian. She kept switching the words around, cracking herself up. Keep in mind that I didn’t read any of it to her:


My youngest has a more “Theatre of the Absurd” sense of humor:

Go find the dog in the backyard. Ever see Chevy Chase’s Funny Farm?
Yep. And there’s also a distinct lack of stucco/adobe/mud houses.

We’re staying in a basement that is larger than our original apartment my wife and I had when we first got married. It’s been a great retreat for me. Lots of journaling/Vanguarding going on.

And the notorious uncle is still Lord of Catan. His citadel (blue) was mighty. My sheep empire (yellow) was just in its infancy when the Ore Baron crushed my wife’s Road to Nowhere (red).
I’m starting to develop a twang. My oldest is developing other rogue-ish abilities:

Lots of fun in the outdoors:

My youngest has a fun cousin to play with, too:

Being entertained by my oldest
Although we should cut back before the flight on her General MacArthur corncob pipe:

Just so you know, North Carolina has Princess Parking:

Her cousin and her are having fun dressing up in frilly dresses and driving monster trucks. Did I mention that we’re in the South?

Other nerd news:
I will be watching Heroes hours before you mere West Coasters even dream of the show. I should make some “predictions”. And then next Monday I, too, shall have my powers stripped. But I will say this: our basement apartment has an HD big screen TV.

And the iQ, the 56 mpg Toyota? Yeah, it’ll be a Scion.

When visiting the serene Yuma, here are some items to consider:

1. The whole community gets involved with the football games.
   
   They have the police do donuts (is that irony I smell?) in the football field with a giant prison break siren wailing. To make it even more realistic, the announcer lady (who I swear is from NPR…the shows that are on at 3am) lectures the crowd about how showing loyalty can be declared through good sportsmanship and not starting fights. Yeah, let’s name the team the Criminals. Real positive role-modeling, district board.
2. Actually, the band is the least involved in the game. After the half-time show, they check out for a rave:
   
   Did you ever see Matrix 2: Reloaded, where they have that giant, muddy dance scene for 15 minutes? To be fair, we used to check out for 3rd quarter, as well.
3. 
   Do you remember T-Ball? Same type of visitor’s stands. They have fireworks, neon signs, sirens…but they prioritize based on how many people would actually make the road trip out there.
4. Not all of the cheerleaders go on the road trip, either. You may have to bring your own:
   
5. Everyone was very nice and welcoming, especially the band boosters.
6. My only complaint? Make sure that when you approach Ave 36E, turn off the outside air to your car (Greeley Dr. Pepper up the nose level of stank) and circulate what you have. And please, don’t do like we did and start circulating once the stank had already penetrated the car.
   I put up a warning for people:
   

For any grandparents brave enough to even consider reading an article titled this, I reward you.

Football season is here. Sometimes a barbarian’s just gotta grill while wearing a football jersey and an apron picturing a skull of some type of cattle…thing.

Marvel vs. DC
To get the biases out of the way - Batman is my favorite superhero, but once you start talking rich universes I’m more of a Marvel guy. Exception: Flash is cooler than Quicksilver, although Quicksilver has a cooler lineage.

But what about the fruit snacks?

It should be noted that Marvel first produced the Transformers comic books.
To start, let’s go supervillains:

Joker (left) vs. Green Goblin (right)
Both are fans of purple and green. Both are insane. Both are globs of modified corn starch and fruit juice concentrate. Maybe not a good place to start. It looks like they weren’t even trying.

The “white flavored” snacks are arranged in order of coolness. The insignia from the movies/batarang. Woot.

Next, a spiderweb. I’m diggin’ it, but it could be left over from Dora the Explorer Halloween Snacks. (We never had them (I loathe the undead), although the Dora Saves the Mermaids ones are tasty.)

But what’s up with the Third Reich covered truck bed Transformer? It’s like the Scion-wannabe Chevy Groove or whatever that ugly spawn of a Sith-corrupted PT Cruiser is that’s driving around. Nissan, just don’t.

Let’s look at the “blue flavored” snacks. Venom is really cool, but his tongue-lash does not an appetite make. Optimus is great, but his faceplate and pronged sideburns don’t stand out.

The Batman bust sticks out. The snack is deeper than it is wide, so you have to flip it to see the picture straight on. I like it.

Yellow. Mangled Bumblebee face or clear insignia? Insignia.

Evidence that the Batman fruit snacks are cooler than the Spider-man and Transformers ones combined. (Photographic play on words in memory of Brenda.)

In conclusion, DC (in this instance) beats Marvel and Libya remains a land of many contrasts.

My daughter was kindof shocked by the sacrifice required by science of her fruit snacks:

In an unrelated story, my wife went with my sister-in-law to go see Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 during lunchtime…

My oldest still rides her bike on the sidewalk:

She learned it from her aunt:

And my youngest was able to hold onto my fingers and stone golem walk tonight:

If you remember my pre-Scion pinings, we have now bloggingly come full circle.
Also, this should fulfill any Cuteness and or/Ahh quotas for the week.

I’ve been here for an hour already. Polling is taking place and I am using my hospitality for freedom, democracy, and NO FUMAR signs.

For my loving family (and Internet stalkers) I have my non-district blocked Twitter-ish system.

5:35am - roll up with stereo thumping in the Scion, old people waiting outside my door.
6:05am - get all the books checked in and queued up for re-shelving
6:10am - check e-mail
6:22am - finish e-mail
6:23am - realize it’s going to be a long day…I should have brought a book
7:04am - Jeremy called - he’s sitting at the church, keeping it open for polls - let’s rock it for America! Woo!
7:55am - breakfast burrito and a strawberry milk (you want to be me) and a conversation with the principal about Call of Duty 4 - hoping that my assistant stops singing the score from Mama Mia
8:18am - election workers started up a game of Balderdash - the irony is not lost on me
8:37am - sad realization that less than 10 voters have shown up so far - do people care about local government?
8:51am - sitting down to Betrayal on Orbis 2 and a Rockstar Vanilla Roasted Light
8:55am - elections supervisor came in: “Oh, no one uses the library anymore. No wonder they let you use it.” - I had to interject - and restrain my Force Grip - I kicked a class out for you, buddy - follow me on a normal day
9:04am - read character creation rules e-mail from Sean and the Ewok section of the rulebook to calm down Librarian Rage
9:14am - the chosen one in the book is referred to as The Scion - heh heh
9:17am - D’oh! Just read the warning on the Rockstar - “This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.” Well, dang! Why am I drinking this espresso and milk if not to cure my Krytos fever?
10:09am - encouraging picture from the other polling place - if they have more voters show up it will be through sheer cuteness alone

12:02pm - visited by beautiful family bearing McDonald’s - I am, indeed, loving it
12:49pm - disputed election worker’s claims that presidents only get retirement until 80 (so you should vote for McCain, who would draw no retirement from taxpayer dollars if serving two terms) - according to the Former Presidents Act, established in 1958, presidents receive a lifetime pension based on the current rate of an executive officer during their presidency - that pension is currently $191,300 - Barack would still theoretically cost more if you went solely off of lifetime pension, but it’s tough to predict the lifetime of a president
And that, my friends, is why you have a librarian - Boom, baby!
3:42pm - received threatening e-mail


5:40pm - visited by Jeremy and Company
6:25pm - found proper Wookiee prefix and suffix name appendix for my new character (by the end of the night I will have every bloggh category used)
6:33pm - realizing how long of a day it is that I can be this excited about some clan’s Wookiee name guide
7:59pm - only 2 Rockstars and coming down hard - I am a leaf in the wind…I am a leaf in the wind
8:35pm - When Boo-yor was in Li-Brar-Yyyyy….Let my Fiction gooooo

8:38pm - Could it be? Is it true? Will the librarian leave after only 15 hours in the library? Quick, while no one’s looking!
9:25pm - HOME

I guess the closing ceremonies were the definition of anticlimactic. I say “I guess” because I didn’t watch them yet. I hear that in comparison to the legions of trained pneumatic warriors (really, follow the link), the closing ceremonies are akin to kids performing the Dark Knight trailer.

I was all psyched to watch the Olympics and then multiple people ruined the China versus USA basketball results (the only event I wanted to watch). I then read about the adult diapers that the drummers in the opening ceremonies had to wear and I checked out. It was fun to think of continuous coverage on my TV, but after a minute I would always get bored.

And hey…I read Siddhartha. I have an attention span.

I reserved my copy of Force Unleashed today. I don’t know if I could handle the Wii Fit shenanigans again. With Target you buy a $5 gift card to reserve a copy for seven days. That $5 gets applied to the purchase of the game…and a wall cling of a Sith apprentice! Where would I put that?

Oh. The Star Wars room.

Yep. Nerdy librarian. Generation Dead is right up your alley, Devin.

On Saturday we went to a friend’s birthday party and played Citadel. It’s a city building game where character cards give you special abilities. I was a fan of the Assassin and Tax Collector hanging out at my Docks and Fortress. Throw a Warlord into the mix if someone already grabbed one of my favorite characters and fun was had.

I also thought that it was funny that it’s possible to make an exact likeness of NAU:

Check this out from my trip home from work:

This thing was holding on until it crawled onto the roof. I was expecting to see it get tossed.
It “closing ceremonied” my expectations.

Bison Photos to Date: 4
Exhibit 1
Exhibit 2
Exhibit 3
Exhibit 4

I have been called many things on this trip: Tall Drink of Water, Slim, “Mom, look at how huge that guy is!”, BWDCAB (much props to my FBWDCAB).

I have also learned many things on this trip.

1. Tall = Stares
   Homemade Motorcycle = Claps
   Tall Man on a Homemade Motorcycle = I’m My Own Flippin’ Fourth of July Parade
   
   This thing is made of car mufflers, armchairs, and awesomeness. My cousin-in-law is a genius. He gets swarmed with people asking him for Ace of Cakes autographs.
   
2. No one messes with Lucy
   
3. Concert by the river? Beautiful
   
   Concert Worse than Karaoke in a Cage Downtown? Not Beautiful
4. Fighting Bison? Cup of Gravy!
   
5. There can be only 3 Scions in the town of Laurel at any given time. Town ordinance.
6. Trains do entrap Laurel, even if you’re late.
   
   (Two trains in this photo.)
7. This is the plate du jour in Montana.
   
8. This is the hottest garage in Montana.
   
9. This is the quintessential sportscar of Montana.
   
10. No matter how cute, daughters-of-cousins-in-law need to still have driving instruction. Especially in the Scion.
    
11. Family, no matter where they live, are great.
    
    
    
    (More family photos to come.)
12. And my daughter can turn any placemat into a work of art.
    

Now to tackle the open road once again. Here’s hoping that the kids do just as well returning home. Tomorrow’s stop? SLC. After that? Vegas. Imagine the irony.

To appease the AppleTV users, all of the photos uploaded today are on Flickr. Search for photostream booyor (comin’ out of nowhere).

I have killed lots of things on this trip.

I should correct that statement.

My Scion xB has killed many things on this trip. Awesome handling, powerful air conditioner, lots of technology, and a style that has had many people stop and stare in the windows/check my tires without realizing that I was sitting there watching them.

But the cool box shape?
Death. Lots of death.

I have hit every single bug from Arizona to Montana. I have washed my windshield five times. There’s different manner of wings, antennae, and whatever is inside bugs all over my grill.
It is an Exoskeletal Holocaust.

The bugs are like, “Scion? Who makes tha…?” [slam]