Booyor’s BLOGgh!

The Phoenix Suns center Shaquille O’Neal(The Big Aristotle, The Big Cactus, The Big Asthmatic) has undergone a total personality change. From the troubles of his time in Miami where the team was on a 17 game losing streak, to the Kobe drama in which he performed a rap about how Kobe can’t win without him, to losing in the first round of last years playoffs to the San Antonio Spurs. He’s now noticeably much happier in his tone, and appears to be on the offensive against Spurs coach Greg Popovich.

Here’s an interesting article…..

“Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:00 am EDT
Shaq calls Spurs cowards, rips Nash and Suns’ defense

And the fun/embarrassment didn’t stop there. Later in the media scrum — earmuffs, Nash and Raja! — Shaq asks how he’s supposed to stay in front Tony Parker and company if the Phoenix guards can’t, and then notes a blown defensive rotation on Tim Duncan’s [fudge'n] three in Game 1. He also takes credit for James Posey and Jason Kapono’s fat free agent contracts. <a “

I’m a fan of Shaq. I think the guy is one big goofy guy who doesn’t take too much seriously unless you tell him he can’t. This will be an interesting year as the Suns vs. Spurs heat seems to be turning up once again.

BTW, Shaq is responsible for leading the efforts to world peace if anyone hasn’t noticed.

When visiting the serene Yuma, here are some items to consider:

1. The whole community gets involved with the football games.
   
   They have the police do donuts (is that irony I smell?) in the football field with a giant prison break siren wailing. To make it even more realistic, the announcer lady (who I swear is from NPR…the shows that are on at 3am) lectures the crowd about how showing loyalty can be declared through good sportsmanship and not starting fights. Yeah, let’s name the team the Criminals. Real positive role-modeling, district board.
2. Actually, the band is the least involved in the game. After the half-time show, they check out for a rave:
   
   Did you ever see Matrix 2: Reloaded, where they have that giant, muddy dance scene for 15 minutes? To be fair, we used to check out for 3rd quarter, as well.
3. 
   Do you remember T-Ball? Same type of visitor’s stands. They have fireworks, neon signs, sirens…but they prioritize based on how many people would actually make the road trip out there.
4. Not all of the cheerleaders go on the road trip, either. You may have to bring your own:
   
5. Everyone was very nice and welcoming, especially the band boosters.
6. My only complaint? Make sure that when you approach Ave 36E, turn off the outside air to your car (Greeley Dr. Pepper up the nose level of stank) and circulate what you have. And please, don’t do like we did and start circulating once the stank had already penetrated the car.
   I put up a warning for people:
   

“Shaq deezy is one big massive man.”
- Slade

Yahoo Week 3
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Fox Week 3
Booyor’s Reallymeanpeople 94.3
South Philly Aztecs 94.8

The only good thing about decimals this week:

Any reader that has been around me at a sporting event has probably heard my theory within the past five years, but indulge me.

This sports entry is for Slade, who is taking a big test today.
E-mail subject: Suggestions for Improving Baseball’s Reach to a New Generation

Dear Bud Selig:
To be able to properly meet the demands of fans in a changing global economy, I believe that some changes need to be made to expand Major League Baseball’s demographic.

Baseball players are not looked at as being as fit of athletes as other sports players, such as basketball and football players. A means of proving their determination must be provided. Equip each baseball outfit with a low impedance transformer and an external sensor. Also, give everyone on defense a low-divergence laser gun that has a two second burst and a battery that must be recharged through kinetic energy.

As a runner is approaching a base, the defenders can fire upon the runner. The runner’s sensor, if hit by the laser, triggers the low impedance transformer. I believe that Starter brand team outfitters has the ability to manufacture a transformer with a 1000 ohm output, much like what is found in current shock collars to inhibit dog barking. Runners will have to push even harder through more difficult muscle spasms to reach the bag, proving their determination and sportsmanship. To make things fair, after the 7th inning stretch the runners can also be equipped with laser guns.

Adding on to the excitement would be on fan nights when fans would be given laser guns, as well. I believe that a generation growing up on first person shooters would appreciate a gun more than that little bat that they get that technically wouldn’t even qualify as a back-up inventory weapon if your ammo ran out. Also, fans could be made to wear the shock uniforms and could fire their lasers across the stadiums. Finally we could end the rivalry between the Seattle Mariners and the Detroit Tigers.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I appreciate any feedback.

Sincerely,
A Fan

I sent this e-mail to him today. If he doesn’t respond back, I could send him a letter at:

The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball
245 Park Avenue, 31st floor
New York, NY 10167

You’re either:

1. Hard-core and listening to the commentary
2. Waiting for someone to biff it

I never noticed how similar to Nascar it was.

I have more fun watching my Mii jog off Wii Fit cliffs and chase dogs on Mii Island. Bring me more Steeple Chase!

Needs more wild dog packs.

In the spirit of the Olympics and all of the constant online hours worth of coverage, we’re joining the bandwagon. (But in our own little way.)

I could make predictions about different events, like there’s going to be some people swimming and medals will be won, but I haven’t really followed the athlete hype just yet. I have, on the other hand, been swamped with commercials and sidebar ads everywhere I go for just the sheer amount of coverage promised.

So, we will be making some predictions about media usage in the Olympics.

1. We will see some gymnasts filmed in a dark room with half of their face shadowed as a narrator tells us about how the gymnast should have quit/died but instead surpassed insurmountable odds.
2. Some USA basketball player is going to be filming from his/her own handicam during the opening ceremonies, like a tourist. Also, a silly hat will be worn.
3. Some blogger (besides myself) will make paranoid predictions about their blog being censored by a government. (Our own or the Chinese depending upon stereotypical liberal/conservative goofiness. The Kryptonian if they’re Zoddists.)
4. The Chinese landscape will be described as peaceful, tranquil, and serene. (To emphasize how the Chinese government is not building up military might (or pirated Dark Knight DVDs).
5. Some swimmer’s mom will cry in the stands.
6. Some runner from an African nation will be featured because there’s a war going on in his/her country, but that war will not make major headlines for the rest of the year on NBC.
7. A beach volleyball player will complain. And probably do something unhygienic that would otherwise be unacceptable in any other setting.
8. Hopefully we’ll see a commercial for Chuck.

8 predictions for the ‘08 Olympics starting 8-8-8.
Keywords to look for: insurmountable, peaceful, tranquil, serene, 8
I tried to leave out easy ones, like a volleyball player wearing old school sunglasses or some protesters with picket signs.

Update: Did you see about the three Americans already kicked out?

Actually, I’m glad that they got noticed (draws attention to human rights stuff). Craziness.

I came across a story found in the LA Times which discusses in more detail some of the struggles that the Lakers recent 3-peat team went through behind the scenes. Though I imagine that no-one is guiltless in the destruction of the 2004 Lakers, which had 4 Hall of Famers in the starting line-up(Shaquille O’Neal, Kobe Bryant, Karl Malone, Gary Payton), I believe that some of them hold more blame than others.

The following is a link to a hands-on debate that went on between some of the Lakers players in the locker room.

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-heisler27-2008may27,0,6675361.column

Perplexed

Pensive

Shy

“Set aside for me, for me, for ME!!!!”
Musical

Supportive

Helpful

Welcoming

Skilled

Peaceful

Of course, here’s the rebuttal:

Fair, objective coverage.

What? They lost the 16 point lead in double overtime?
Blech. Gotta love a Suns/Spurs playoff series.

With my brother in California this weekend, I thought I’d help him out.

The Haiku
For being grown men
Millionaire ball players cry
and flop like Shamu

Ninja Run Up Raja

No Comment

There are several theories about Shaq’s behavior of the past 8 years. One theory is that, Shaq may be heading for a mid-life crisis and has the need to express himself in an outward display of agression. A second theory is that Shaq is secretly the missing link and evolutionary hybrid of Sasquatch(the YETTI) and one exceptionally large man, and because of his inner conflict, has a desperate need for self-identity, and therefore lashes out at others in an attempt to feel better about himself.

Whatever the case may be, watch the following videos and determine for yourself, the real reasons for Shaq’s most outrageous and disturbing behavior.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWqPnEGzfK8&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiGfonanmWo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmBWNrTb7xY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3h4jJj1sAQ&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhnHn5bREhs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ3FXLyNFew&feature=related